[newlifeyeah]

hey,

such a lovely, happy title, isn't it? lol.

as I have recently discovered, that I perhaps sleep really poorly and not deep enough. That's why I have been exhausted every single day in the last almost 8 months.

it's easy to tell that I can't sleep deep due to my inner frustration.
This mainly is because I had a bad relationship, and my ex girlfriend basically just bulldozed over me, totally crippling me, always hurting me, treating me really really like crap.
I mean, whatever I did, nothing could please her. And of course I tried till the very last bit of energy I had, when I gave up, I got totally mentally ill, and since then couldn't get out of it. My problem is, I think, that I am actually angry at her, and of course angry at myself for staying in a long relationship like that, which I didn't even realize was really bad for me.
I have nightmares of beating her up, or just randomly fighting with random people on the streets. And then I wake up fuken exhausted.
I go to therapy twice a week, which is fine, and time makes it better of course, but sometimes I feel like I really wanna punch someone or something, or perhaps her. In the face, and that would solve the problem. I am totally not aggressive, and never been in a fight before (except once when someone nearly knocked me out). I brokeup with this girl because all the pain she caused to me, but I still feel like I'm not satisfied, there's something missing, for me to get over this frustration. And I have no idea what to do. There are people telling me to "move on", and "let it go", which is obviously my goal, but even if I try to do stuff during the day, it still gets to me in nightmares, and really bad sleep.
I try to control my sleep with alprazolam, but it can't solve my mental issue. I know I'm going in the right direction, but I just don't know how to effectively let out the frustration. I feel like I sort of want revenge on her, but I know that's stupid, and I know that the main cause of my depression is not her.

Should I start boxing randomly? just in my room? would that help?
i have no idea.
i wanna have my life back, but without normal sleep that's impossible.

thank you for reading!

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

as I have recently discovered, that I perhaps sleep really poorly and not deep enough. That's why I have been exhausted every single day in the last almost 8 months.

Improving your sleep is a priority. Without decent sleep everything is more difficult.

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

...I can't sleep deep due to my inner frustration.

Without diminishing the importance of the inner frustration, are you certain there's nothing else, perhaps something physical, interfering with your sleep?

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

Should I start boxing randomly? just in my room? would that help?

It helps some people. Any type of rhythmic physical activity may be helpful. I wish you success in recovering from unpleasant events!

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Improving your sleep is a priority. Without decent sleep everything is more difficult.

Without diminishing the importance of the inner frustration, are you certain there's nothing else, perhaps something physical, interfering with your sleep?

It helps some people. Any type of rhythmic physical activity may be helpful. I wish you success in recovering from unpleasant events!

No it's just exhaustion, nothing physical. Long term good sleep would solve my problem. I know it, but unable to achieve it so far, but trying though. Thank you. Any other ideas anyone? Thanks

[Little Lulu]

No ideas ... just empathy. I went through several months when I was so anxious my sleep tanked. I was sleeping very little at night (even with Klonopin) and could not nap in the daytime. I felt wrecked and desparate. If someone had told me eating cow patties at bedtime would help, I probably would have tried it.

I happened upon some tapes on anxiety and evidently lots of people with mood problems have this issue because the topic on one tape was sleep, or lack thereof. After a lot of discussion about sleep and fears of not sleeping, the speaker said finally 'your body will sleep when it gets tired enough'. Somehow that resonated with me and I let go (a little) of the worry about not sleeping.

It took some time and treatment, but today I sleep like a champ.

(By the way, I am from the US and vsiting Budapest this summer. I hear it is beautiful.)

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by Little Lulu

No ideas ... just empathy. I went through several months when I was so anxious my sleep tanked. I was sleeping very little at night (even with Klonopin) and could not nap in the daytime. I felt wrecked and desparate. If someone had told me eating cow patties at bedtime would help, I probably would have tried it.

I happened upon some tapes on anxiety and evidently lots of people with mood problems have this issue because the topic on one tape was sleep, or lack thereof. After a lot of discussion about sleep and fears of not sleeping, the speaker said finally 'your body will sleep when it gets tired enough'. Somehow that resonated with me and I let go (a little) of the worry about not sleeping.

It took some time and treatment, but today I sleep like a champ.

(By the way, I am from the US and vsiting Budapest this summer. I hear it is beautiful.)

hey! If you're coming to Budapest maybe I could help you out with a nice little tour! this is my small business:

Budapest Joyride

well, my problem is not really falling asleep, nor staying asleep, but to have deep and resting sleep. I sleep nearly every night 7-8 hours, but it's not really refreshing, it feels like I haven't slept at all.

[bharani1008]

I thoroughly sympathize with your frustration. I have struggled with insomnia for decades. I on an antidepressant that helps with sleep. The element that helps is melatonin. It is available in any health food store. It helped my brother as well.
I hope this helps.
Good luck

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by bharani1008

I thoroughly sympathize with your frustration. I have struggled with insomnia for decades. I on an antidepressant that helps with sleep. The element that helps is melatonin. It is available in any health food store. It helped my brother as well.
I hope this helps.
Good luck

hey,

thank you very much!
Well so far i haven't taken any medication for sleep, so now I'm on a very small dose of alprazolam, 0,25mg per night.
I also monitor my sleeping patterns with the Sleep Cycle iphone app. it's really good. If I don't overforce myself, then it slowly gets better. You just need more good nights of sleep in a row. And then everything will be fine.
if this doesn't work, I'm gonna go for that melatonin you were talking about.
ty again!

[newlifeyeah]

hey guys, an update.
tonight's sleep was pretty rough, and what I experience, that falling asleep with Xanax is pretty easy and good, and the first 3-4 hours of sleep is very good, but the second part, when the effect wears off, my nightmares and long REM sleep is coming back.

I'm going to psychotherapy, so I'm gonna talk about my dreams there, but it's still kinda rough.
I don't want to take a larger those which will black me out for longer time.. but if that what works for me to get normal sleep then maybe I should consider... or some other kind of meds.. i have no idea.

[sadnblue66]

i see your on xanax, im trying the worstway to get off it and all my dr tells
me to to is tapper off slowly. i go down and then back up. im taking 1-6mg a day. any ideas on help?

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by sadnblue66

i see your on xanax, im trying the worstway to get off it and all my dr tells
me to to is tapper off slowly. i go down and then back up. im taking 1-6mg a day. any ideas on help?

that sounds like an incredibly high dose.
my advice is to taper as slowly as possible. take your time.
I was on Lyrica the last fall. i tapered for about 1 week, and that's not enough, and I was on a low dose for only like 2 months or so.

so if you wanna come off that super high dose, I would suggest you to taper for about 2-3 months.
and withdrawal is still gonna be tough, but a lot easier with the long taper.
good luck!