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#51
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#52
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Okay so here's the thing. Been trying sooo hard to get this to work but can NOT do it. But I'm pretty stubborn and REALLY wanted to share this with everyone who might need a smile....oh what the heck don't we all??! So gonna try one last thing, fingers crossed. So if you want to see what I'm talking about just click on the link. Oh maybe it's just me but every single time I look at this it makes me laugh out loud!
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![]() angryworld, Bark, Marla500, Nammu, Turtleboy
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#53
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Thank you, Whimsygirl -- And I will say right back at ya -- aren't you sweet
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![]() whimsygirl
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![]() whimsygirl
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#54
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Hi SW -- is that o k to call you that?
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![]() Bark, Turtleboy
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#55
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![]() whimsygirl
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#56
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A little bit of a better day for me today. Went to church and then had a nice lunch with a friend after that. He remarked to me that he wishes he could see me more often. I feel the same way. We just live a bit apart and are busy with life.
Spent the afternoon doing the laundry. And now I'll go on a bike ride before dinner. Nothing lined up for tonight to do. Perhaps my friend and I will get together tomorrow. |
![]() gracez, lindammarie
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![]() Bark, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#57
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I have been feeling so physically exhausted for the past few weeks, and don't know what it will take to change that. Everything is such an effort to do. I have a very supportive husband -- we have been married for 45 years, this coming November. he has lived with me and this darn, miserable depression for a very long time. My depression is low-grade -- chronic -- always with me. Med does help, but right now, not so much -- so my doctor and I are at the beginning of me weaning off effexor xr -- which I have been on for nearly 8 years. I think it will take a while to accomplish this, as I know, it cannot be rushed
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![]() Bark, gracez, lindammarie, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#58
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I hate having a mood disorder
After 3 days I finally got hours of sleep Friday and woke up feeling good, then after almost 40 hours I slept again this morning but woke up feeling really crappy, nauseated, grumpy & I just realized I don't want to go on any more. I don't want to get any older. Yes I realize it is the mood disorder and I hate it I hate being at the mercy of feelings that come stealing along while I'm sleeping and takes over my life. I think thats part of the reason I fight sleeping, I so often wake up feeling worse than when I went to sleep. It is always a fight to be positive and put on the mantle of "everything is fine" well it is NOT fine! I feel like crap and I'm tired. ![]() ![]() I've tried distracting myself, I had a bowl of healthy lentil soup, talked to my cat, and nothing has changed..............................I want a time machine so I can go back to this morning and NOT go to sleep.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() 5678scream, Anonymous41141, Bark, gracez, lindammarie, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#59
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can it get any worse? just got back to where i live with a room-mate, who's away. i was away dog-sitting also since fri. back window is off, there's been a break-in and some of my stuff, most precious to me, is stolen.
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![]() Anonymous41141, Bark, happy 2 b here, lindammarie, Nammu, optimize990h, tigerlily84, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#60
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Feeling scared. Its a horrible night right now. Don't wanna sleep but can feel it clutching.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin ![]() |
![]() Bark, gracez, lindammarie, Marla500, optimize990h, tigerlily84, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#61
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![]() lindammarie
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#62
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![]() lindammarie
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![]() gracez, lindammarie
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#63
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I feel brain dead.
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"What you risk reveals what you value" |
![]() Bark, gracez, lindammarie, tigerlily84, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#64
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i am trying... but i feel so tired
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"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
![]() Bark, gracez, lindammarie, optimize990h, tigerlily84, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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![]() tigerlily84
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#65
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So lonely and bored and tired and down and miserable and moody.
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![]() Anonymous41141, Bark, gracez, lindammarie, optimize990h, tigerlily84, tigersassy, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#66
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![]() lindammarie, optimize990h
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![]() Bark, gracez, herethennow, lindammarie, tigerlily84, whimsygirl
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#67
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![]() Bark, herethennow, lindammarie, optimize990h, whimsygirl
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#68
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things have been going okay for me, i got medication for my depression now so let us see how that helps in the ling run.
other stuff has been just as hard and bad for me though. so yeah, still sad.
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I'm here because I love you my kitten <3 |
![]() Bark, herethennow, lindammarie, optimize990h, tigerlily84, whimsygirl
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#69
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![]() Bark, gracez, lindammarie, optimize990h, tigerlily84
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![]() Bark, herethennow, lindammarie, tigerlily84
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#70
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I thought a meeting was at 1130 but it was 1000. I expected nothing much from it. I thought the pet therapy was better. My response to it was better than the meeting would have been.
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I get fed, don't worry. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Bark, gracez, lindammarie
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#71
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didn't want to sleep last night, uneasy about the break-in. I ate some today, which is good. I just walked down the block to get the mail and encouraged myself to walk for 5 more mins., which I did, but I felt worse because I was with my negative thoughts overwhelming me, and wish I'd stayed zoned out on the couch.
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![]() Bark, ExiExi, herethennow, lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#72
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Good for you for being able to walk and get the mail today, despite the negative thoughts. I know it's exhausting, but I think you did the right thing. I'll be thinking of you Grace. Update on me: I called a suicide hotline on Saturday because my suicidal thoughts were overwhelming. I spoke to a very nice woman who really helped me. And that evening my brother drove out to see me and I told him how I was feeling. He was very kind and supportive, as he has been there himself. I stayed at my dad's Saturday and all day today. I had a good time, it was good to see him. So I'm hanging in there. I feel a bit disconnected today though. |
![]() Bark, gracez, lindammarie
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![]() gracez
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#73
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A pretty busy day. This morning I got a message from my sister saying that the reason she had to hang up the phone on me on Saturday (I posted that previously) was because her daughter had a Urinary Tract Infection and was feeling sick with it. So they went to the hospital for it. I called my sister about it this morning and she said that her daughter is OK now.
I spent part of the day with a friend of mine with a walk and lunch. It was nice to be together. But I felt very depressed after that. I felt very alone and depressed about being unattached. It seems like I live in a coupled world. And I've felt like an outcast about this all of my life. It's back to work tomorrow. I don't feel so bad about having to go back to work. I feel bad more about having to make an appointment with a urologist and I have a dental appointment at the end of the week. |
![]() Bark, ExiExi, lindammarie, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#74
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I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive 2 1/2 more months in this house before going back to school. My parents just continue to get on my nerves. My dad's dumb little jokes don't make me laugh anymore, and I often find them incredibly annoying. He's noticed that and yet he still keeps doing them, and tries to make me feel bad for not finding him funny. My parents are starting to notice that I behave differently, but I don't think they suspect that I've been feeling depressed and I don't think I'm ready to tell them.
I haven't contacted that guy since Saturday evening. This is the longest I've gone without having any contact with him at all since February, when we first started texting. I told myself that I was going to stop contacting him for a little while to try and give myself time to sort out some of my feelings. But all this lack of contact has done is raise more questions. I still have so much more I want to ask him. I think I'm going to just give in and text him tomorrow evening (Well, technically this evening since it's after midnight here, haha). We've both agreed that we still want to be friends so I figure I have nothing to lose at this point.
__________________
"The rain keeps crawling down the glass. The good times never seem to last. Close your eyes and let the thought pass."
'Prodigal' by Porcupine Tree ![]() |
![]() Bark, ExiExi, herethennow, lindammarie, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#75
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really low. black dog ever so present.
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
![]() Bark, ExiExi, lindammarie, tigerlily84, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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