[dreamer62604]

Ok, you know that I used to really enjoy getting on the internet...and talking and surfing and such...well now all i am in bored....nothing excites me anymore. i hate living...i hate it, I really do. I feel so dead...and I wonder, why? I mean really, why should I keep fighting? And I know that you are all going to say that I have to keep going, can't give up. well, honestly...i don't see the point anymore. I know I have my family, but would they really miss me that much? I mean, I don't know who would. I just am sick of feeling this way, and nothing is helping me. And I'm probably going to get in trouble for this post, but oh well....I really am sick of caring....of all of this, it's just all crap anyway. You know what they say, Life sucks, then you die....later..i guess...

~Me~

[b]<font color=blue> I can't take this anymore and I'm almost pretty sure that I've been here before. I can't take this any longer I won't heal until I'm stronger. Strong enough to not be afraid --Oleander[b]<font color=blue>

[dexter]

just remember that everything in your post has nothing to do with you, they are all just classic symptoms of depression. if you can get through your depression, just keep trying, hopefully those things will get better.

look at what you are saying. that you're family won't miss you? of course they will miss you! we will miss you! i'm sure you have friends that will miss you! from the outsider's point of view, it doesn't even make any sense to think that your family won't miss you! that's because it the depression, and only the depression, that makes you think and believe such illogical things!

the things you used to enjoy... the depression takes away your ability to enjoy them! in my case i used to thrive on how much i enjoyed the things in my life, and how much "gusto" i had to enjoy things. but that is all gone for me now. that is because of the depression! it makes it so difficult to cope. and the resulting boredom makes it that much harder to get through the day. but it is the illness! keep fighting it!

depression is like a virus that weakens us, degrades our will to live, and then takes away all of our coping mechanisims, "weakens our immunity" so to speak, so the virus becomes very hard for our bodies to fend off. but we do have immune systems even when the virus supresses them. try to have some faith in that, find strength wherever you can, and keep going.

take care of yourself.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[dexter]

i forgot to say... if you are feeling really bad at points, remember what i posted above, and get some help! call a hotline or go to your er if you have to. if you had some other disease you would do the same, it would be your instinct to survive. don't let the depression stomp on that instinct to the point where it won't let you get the help you need.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[ariel]

A good friend of mine who was dumped out of a mental hospital and put onto the streets for many years and there went through trauma after trauma, said that the only way she survived was to learn to stay in the now. Depression is all about identifying with our thoughts. In The Power of Now (Eckardt Tolle) it explains that if instead of identifying with our barrage of thoughts, instead of thinking they are us- We must simply observe our thoughts and feelings from that part of us that is deep inside. This helps us to experience our inner being, where there is no illness, no pain and no depression. It is the part of us that just IS. I have been trying to practice doing this. It isn't easy, it takes some real discipline and practice, and is a process. But compared to waiting for antidepressants to work, it is immensely faster. Perhaps you aren't in a place now where you can do this kind of work, and I think that the ER sounds like a good idea right now as well. When I have been so depressed, I have to remind myself every moment, that it is the pain I want to stop, not life. Bless you. Take care of your heart right now.
-Ariel


-Ariel

Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic, in it.
-Goethe

[dexter]

ariel I just replied to your post in "general" in the topic "honoring survival" and I want to comment that what you said here is also very much included in the "Power of Myth". If you reread my original post there (the one that you responded to) you will see the similarities, maybe you already have, of the idea that deep within, the nature of everything, including ourselves, things like pain and depression have no meaning. Many of the creation stories in mythology follow this same idea and can be thought of as the creation of our human nature as well as the creation of the world and universe.

dreamer i hope this gives you some different ways to think about things and hopefully something will help get you on track for feeling better. We are here to offer support and offer choices... I think that people (not just depressed people) tend to not see some of the choices that are in front of them. In our case opportunities of hope, opportunities of treatment, and opportunities for the perspective that we need to cope.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[Peanut61]

Just wanted to tell you that I care, (((Dreamer)))...

I can't say the rest better than Dexter, Ariel, or Ozzie did; they had some really meaningful things to say.

Warmest regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[ariel]

DEXTER! -OMG! You are inspiring me!! I really needed that today. I will definately look for the power of myth. I so much agree with everything and have felt this way for so long! Bless your great spirit!

-Ariel

Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic, in it.
-Goethe