[damajdancer]

I think Im going back into a really depressing phase again, I just recently got out of one. I was in my bed for 2 days, no one could get me to do anything. Now I feel like it's starting all over again. I dont want to go back to that, but I dont know how to stay out of it. It seems like the more I get mad, the more depressed I get. And I have been getting mad ALOT lately. All my friends keep asking me whats wrong, but I dont know whats wrong. I just feel like crying and never saying another word to anyone. I want to just skip school and lock myself up in my room forever. My family sees that Im feeling low, but they just act like everything is normal. I really need some support from them right now, but they havent given a rats *** about me for 2 years, so Im not expecting to much from them. My therapist is on vacation so I cant talk to him. I just cant take it any more. No one is ever here for me, no one. Not even my friends, every time they need an ear or a shoulder, Im always right there, but no one wants to help me, Im so alone. All these flashbacks and memories are coming back, and I dont know how to cope with them. Some of them are good memories, and I just start crying because I wish I was still that person. And others are just horrible and I cant stand to re-live some of that stuff. I feel like I could go crawl up in a dark hole and no one would even notice that Im gone.
I really dont know what to do.
Thanx for letting me vent.
-Megan-

[sammi]

(((((hugs))))))

I know how you feel about your family. MIne like to pretend that its not happening either. With your friends i understand that as well. People don't alway realize that they r hurting you. Maybe just try telling one of ur close friends like hey i need you to listen to me now. IF the person is your true friend then they will. If they don't then they're not really your friend r they.....

And also remeber that you are not as alone as you may think. You have all of us

Please take care

[Bethsway]

I would miss you...damajdancer...and I would know you were gone...You are always so caring...what can we do for you? I want to say magic words to make you feel better!! I truly do!!! Hold on and hope tomorrow will be brighter!!!

[Evangelista]

Megan I am sorry you are feeling so alone...its tough when the T is out of town and friends are nowhere to be found..you may not have a shoulder right now IRL...but you are cared for here..take care..

Eva

[damajdancer]

Thank you sammi, Bethsway, and Evangelista for all of the support.
Im not feeling any better, but when I read these posts, and saw that Im really not alone, it made my day!
So thank you all!!
-Megan-

[pamelasu]

I am sorry you are feeling so low and there is something you can do for yourself. That is try to be kind to yourself. Don't be harsh or angry with yourself because of the person you wish you could be. Instead think of the depression as a learning experience. To learn about who you are and what you can do to over come and cope with it. Maybe start a journal and write out your feelings, it won't help right away but over time you will see the benefits. Try to focus on happy memories instead of the bad memories, and try to be positive about the situations you are in. It will take time to be positive, but once you start feeling bad try to turn it around for yourself. It's all going to be ok really! Just hang in there! *hugs*
Pamela Su