back but no peace

well I went on trip north , it was nice to get away from the heat of summer. I tried to see as many family as possible , that was stressful in its self ,, had very good visit with my step daughter lots of talk about things of spiritual nature etc.
got my granddaughter completely moved and
some family are in bad shape "self inflicted " very hard to see them like that.... cause I am so lost in my head. I wish I could help.
I did not find what I was looking for on my spirit quest... just confirmation of loss... now that I am typing I guess I am at some ease , I guess..
I am busted up fairly bad ... and I have no memory of how it happened.
just that I was asleep and woke to tremendous chest pain , I guess I must have tried to get to the truck and blacked out cause I hit my head hard "very cut up and bloody" also my leg and arm .. the pain in my chest is bad ii think I cracked my bones up some... it has been 5 days now and the pain at times is unbearable, should have gone to hospital but no ins. and I can barely afford my reg. meds. I wish I had some memory of what happened .
I sure don't need my body broke while my head is so screwed up.
x

You need to get to the hospital regardless, Don, in my view. I think it's a law now that
everyone in the U.S. is entitled to go to a hospital for help even though there may be
no insurance. You can always pay the bill over a period of years with low payments.

You may have a hemorrhage in your chest that has not healed completely or a concussion of the
skull. Those are things you just can't let go by unattended.

Please go to the hospital today. If you can't drive yourself, and I imagine that you
cannot, please get someone to take you.

You really need to get to a hospital as soon as possible. Call 911 if necessary. The loss of time worries me. You need to tell a dr. about that. You can't progress much more until you get your body back together. Go now!
As far as your spiritual quest is concerned--- the greatest saints and seers took a long time to find their path and worked a long time to achieve their goal. The spiritual is a lifelong journey that unfolds little by little as you learn to open yourself up to the Positive Spirit. Don't let one experience spoil the most important thing in your life. Maybe you haven't found the path that suits you best. A vedantic sage once said that there are as many spiritual paths as there are people. There are so many beautiful roads to choose from. In the meantime try this. Make a little shrine in a quiet place in your house. Everyday place a little bowl of water, a few flowers or leaves, and maybe light a candle there. Close your eyes and think of the kindest, most loving Being you can imagine. Ask Him/Her?It to guide you to your special spiritual path. Do this everyday. It is so beautiful to do this that it may even be enough right now.
I hope you get better soon

well after 5 days the pain was so bad in the middle of night I drone to town turns out I have a 3 " break in my sternum .. I still have no memory of what happened the er doc thinks I had a tia I have no ins. so didn't get a scan on head.. but my heart showed no sign of a attack ... I flipin hurt
so a very heart felt thank you to GENATIC AND BHARANI1008 for advice... the dam head ache wont go away,.,.,.
1008 I don't have a house any more it got removed by the gods of wind 3 years ago I salvaged what I could but .. most people would be horrified by these living conditions.. but I know there are souls out there in much worse shape.........
I am so lost is it schizofrainia or what ? the visions are slowly coming back cept when I talk about them they stop.... I don't have a place to make a shrine....
so thx..... I lostlostlost I have no faith because I pray an prayed for not... I know it is wrong to lose faith but I cant help it..... I am so broken I don't know what to do.. I wish I had someone but I am alone so alone .. if there is gods what did I do in my past lifes to deserive this ? I tried to open a portal to another dimension and got scared when I saw what was coming through and stop it ... they say once its open you cant close it... so what do I do ? I want the visions I need them they need me .... I need help help help me I so lost in this do I need a rubber room ? oh please help me ... I remember my last life and all my loved ones were killed and I am stuck here cause now there gone again .. what do I do ? I am scared I don't want to be here and I don't want to leave.... is it purgatory? an after ten years I get to go home ????????????????????????????????????