[tango2150]

ive gone downhill again, ive cut myself again after about 8 months of not. and after 3 years im seeing a pattern.
i feel down and cut ---> time goes on and i stop and try and get over it --> things seem to be at a steady normal --> things again quickly start going wrong --> i beat myself up trying my best not to harm myself and end up feeling unhappy most of the time --> things get worse i cut and im back at square one.
ive gone through this too many times for it to be coincidence. im just a failure.. i feel a bit useless and dont know what to do now.

[Christina86]

(((((((((tango))))))))

Wow - you know I wouldn't have ever been able to get my self-injuring behaviour down to a pattern, but that sure sounds a lot like what I do!

You are not a failiure - it just takes an awful lot of going around in circles before you're able to stop the behaviour. Don't beat yourself up over it, it takes a lot to quit.

[JustAPixie]

((((((((( tango )))))))))

Just because you fall down doesn't mean you are going backwards! It just means that you have fallen and you must try to get up... we are here to give you a nudge if you need it!

[deepblue]

you are a unique person tango for lasting 8 months ,you understand that your will power is not so strong as you would have hoped, i know how you feel i felt like that last October but unfortunately i went to far and too deep,i used an extremely dangerous tool to do it and they have not healed yet, i still get low and yes i think about doing it but i just look at my arms and see the damage and it stops me because the next time might be my last.
i find music helps me through it or watching a funny film

i hope you keep well

keep smiling

[tango2150]

i would be alot worse off if i didnt have my guitar... i just feel really run down

tango. i've heard relapse is part of recovery. you're just working out the subtle issues that plague you. dont give up.

[pamelasu]

I hope that you get feeling better soon!

[heartspace]

You're not a failure. Recognising a pattern in my opinion is a sign of progress.
Can you break the cycle somehow? I've heard there are alternatives to cutting - applying ice etc. Maybe the folks in the SI forum would have some suggestions?
Take care.