[Obscure-Angel]

Basically i just wanted to try and write down my 'problems' I'm not sure if this is the right place to do it...I'm not sure of anything.
Depression, anxiety and panic attacks. My personality stripped of these things is that of a very bouncy happy fairy hippy type, I appreciate everything in my life, in the whole universe and take nothing for granted. I have a wonderful partner and two great teenage girls, 2 mad dogs and enough money to ensure we are all fed and clothed.
So why is it I am almost constantly on a downward spiral...I may have a few good days but even then my brain is at war trying to keep the bad thoughts out. I worry you see...about everything all the time...I have an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. I took Prozac for several years...which eradicated my libido which led to the demise of my relationship...due to me being selfish.
I was told I had pmdd ..sounds innocuous enough but it's really quite crap. But the anxiety is daily and constant and no one gets it. I want to know if the hell I suffered when I was younger is anything to do with it or if I'm just wired this way....I realise I'm rambling without saying all that much, which I was worried about. oh well...maybe 1 person will read this...
Also, is have an avatar but I'm on my phone and have no idea how to do it!

From the depths of the void
Angel x

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[Lab_Rat]

I get you. It's hard for "normal" people to be around us because there is no logic to how we feel. I know I'm wired this way and will always be on meds. I have a great job, husband, great kids, good money so why can't I appreciate it to its fullest?

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[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Obscure-Angel

maybe 1 person will read this...

As of this post, 34 actually. (Well, I don't know if they all read everything.)

Hello & Welcome, Obscure Angel. Go ahead and "ramble." Take the time and space you need to work out your own way of expressing what's inside.

Originally Posted by Obscure-Angel

I want to know if the hell I suffered when I was younger is anything to do with it or if I'm just wired this way.

Good chance it's that early hell, and you may also be wired that way. Have you had therapy?

[bharani1008]

Hello and greetings fellow hippy----we never die do we? I don't know why that episode in our lives remains so potent but I've rarely found anyone who experienced it to have completely eradicated it.
As Rohag said-- your early hell will have probably set you up for depression. I myself have been depressed off and on my whole life. My mom was depressed-- my dad was depressed. I truly think I was hard wired for this. So I take medicine-----joyfully and gratefully. They give me a chance for a life. If you are genetically tuned to this than you just have to treat it as you would any other disease. See a doctor and get treatment. For me it works and is wonderful. You don't have to always feel so bad.
Post here as often as you wish and we will be here to listen.
I hope you feel better soon.

[Obscure-Angel]

Hi yep I've had some therapy but it was useless. I'd like to try some kind of talking therapy as I believe that talking about things fully is a good way of dealing with stuff but the counsellor I had wasn't intrested. I think I just need the right kind of meds, I just don't want to be on something all the time..just when I need too. But I think that will be valium and I'm not keen on that.
I wish I could delete the past...the things I've seen. It's so nice to be around like minded people on here...I'm quite shocked!

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