[LILANGEL]

First of all I am new here....where do I start..I am married for almost six yrs...I have two beautiful little boys...I feel like I am breaking inside...I think sometimes one person can only take so much...I am not trying to complain or be whiney...my husband and I have been through alot in the last few yrs...he was deployed twice to two wars and I was on an emotional roller coaster with that...I cried alot and felt helpless and empty...he came home and we had our first son...things were good ...he was 9 months old when I found out we were having our second son...he was born with numerous health problems...he was hospitalized six times for illnesses...I stayed at the hospital day in and day out....I quit my job to stay at home with him and take care of him....I feel like I started depression after that...I cry all the time and feel helpless and empty ....my husband is making it worse...he just does not understand...he is working and going to school which I am proud of him,but he is so involved with what he is doing...we just don't seem to matter..when my son was going to have to have surgery ...he was afraid of missing a test to be there...he finally agreed........I just do not know what to do....I am losing all my motivation to do anything....I love my children more than anything...so I hate feeling this way and not enjoying life....why can't my husband understand....this is the most horrible feeling....I just wanted to talk to other people who are feeling the same way ....plus I think he is dealing with some issues from being in war...he gets angry with me alot and I feel like I just cannot talk to him at all..I just feel so alone and do not know what to do...I have scheduled an appt with a therapist ...hoping it will help...

[gypsylace]

Hi- I'm also a new member. I kinda know where you are coming from. I suffer from clinical depression..another word for chronic...anyway I felt like my whole world was falling apart as well. There is hope. Going to a therapist is the first step. I know that you wish your husband would understand how you feel but remember he is dealing with alot as well. Men don't talk about how they feel like we do. They have their own ways of dealing with problems. Don't give up on him or yourself. What you need to remember is that you have to take care of yourself emotionally.Your children need their mother well.I have been on medication for several years and it really does help you cope with stress. It has helped me look at situations differently and also realize that things aren't always as bad as they seem to be. I have been at rock bottom and have worked my way up. Find a therapist that you feel comfortable talking with. It does help. My soon to be ex husband was diagnosed about a year after we got married with Hepatitis C and it was difficult for me to handle his illness, work, etc. He lost his job and I was the only one who was working plus I had a very demanding job. I was seeing a therapist regulary and it helped me deal with everything that was going on.We didn't separate because of his being sick....anyway what I'm trying to say is it will work out and things will get better. Pray every nite and keep your appts and focus on you and your children. Your husband will come around. If you need to talk feel free to email me at witchykitty37@aol.com. I hope this gives you some hope and help.
I hope your son is doing better. Good luck and take care

Gypsylace

[LILANGEL]

thankyou so much for the advice...it really does help...I am glad you are doing better...I was on lexapro...but it is not working...I am going to see if I can try something else...thankyou again for being so kind...i will definitely keep my appts ...I agree I think talking to someone that is licensed in this can help...thankyou again!!

[Bethsway]

that is the best thing that you could have done...you need to talk to someone....Hope it helps you!!!! and we are here are pc to chat withh also....welcome!!!

[justpeachy06]

Sounds like you have been through alot. You deserve alot of credit for hanging in there and taking care of your family.
I understand how it feels. Sometimes you feel like you are banging into a wall no matter what you try to do. Best of luck with your therapy. **hugs**

I know how helpless & scary it is to have a child who is ill. My first was 2 1/2 mos. premature (due to my drinking & smoking while pregnant--had untreated bipolar--talk about guilt). Your husband sounds like he is not handling all the pressures on him. Do at least try to get help for yourself so you can be the strong one for your children. Medication & therapy did help me tremendously, as others have mentioned. Take good care.--Suzy

[blue38star]

Hi there I am new also to this. But I think so far I am glad that I did this and I think it will help you also. I know how your feeling my husband is the same way. He works alot to and when I do try and talk with him it's hard beause he does try to understand. I really don't have anyone else to talk with but my mom sometimes and that does not work all the time. But if you ever need to talk here is my email Eeyore52568@msn.com take care. And I am here if you need to share.