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#26
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Ughs.
Sighs. Blahs. |
Bark, bharani1008, online user, tealBumblebee, tigerlily84
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#27
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ehh. After the anniversary of my brothers death, I've just been stuck in this kind of fog.
__________________
“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
Bark, bharani1008, kindachaotic, Nammu, online user, tigerlily84
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#28
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So bad news... I did not get the job.
I am doing my best to focus on the fact that I do have a job right now; I just don't like it. That being said, I'm still in the running to hopefully be selected for a promotion at work. But I'm still actively looking for something outside of my company. Here's hoping. All I know is that I am worth more than what I am being paid. I am worth it. I am. Maybe if I keep telling myself that it will come true, and things will start to turn around for me. |
Bark, bharani1008, Grey Matter, Nammu, online user
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Bark
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#29
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I'm out of the full blown paranoia and feeling of rejection that I felt yesterday but the ghost of the feeling is lurking.
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Bark, Grey Matter, online user, tigerlily84
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#30
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I know that I should keep to my bedtime, take my medication earlier... instead I stay up, feel wide awake because the med hasn't kicked in yet, and I feel that I'm edging towards feeling depressed... not to mention it will affect my day tomorrow. My laziness and lack of motivation is really getting on my nerves. I am getting out and doing things, but I have to drag myself out of bed in the morning and can't be bothered to stick to a routine or work on plans for my vacation.... I'm just taking my meds, which keep me stable, but I'm wondering if they're messing with my motivation. Probably.
I think almost every recent post of mine mentions meds. Suffices to say that they're on my mind every day. |
bharani1008, Nammu, online user, tigerlily84
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#31
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I'm here that's an up and down, but that is all.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
Bark, online user
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#32
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Feeling not too bad but not too good either. Met T and new pdoc (for the second time) the other day... Pdoc was hilarious.
I miss being normal
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
Anonymous53876, Bark, online user, tigersassy
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Bark
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#33
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Feeling a little bit better. Had to lie to my mom last night about cuts she saw on my leg.
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Anonymous53876, Bark, online user, tigersassy
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Bark
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#34
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I just got back from Athens, GA and I feel horrible. I have some sort of GI virus and my intestines are hurting me really bad. It was so bad this morning before I left that I almost called an ambulance, but it started easing up. I feel like crap. I know part of it is because I'm exhausted, but I definitely have some sort of gastro illness. I'm going to the doctor this afternoon. I had to come from Athens straight back to work after driving for 3 hours.
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Anonymous53876, Bark, Nammu, NWgirl2013, online user, tigerlily84
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#36
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Wishing so much I hadn't made this huge mistake
__________________
It only takes a moment to be kind ~ |
Anonymous53876, Bark, online user, tealBumblebee, tigersassy
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#37
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I thought we were gonna get a break from the heat today, but the humidity is up making it over 100 degrees anyway. Ugh I do not want to go outside!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Bark, NWgirl2013, online user
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#38
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Reeaally down for the past few days... this time it might be weather-related because we've had a bout of storms this week. Before the rain started and things were dry and hot as usual here, I was actually driving out to see my horse and do ground work with him by myself (a huge accomplishment in my world) and I felt so much better in general. Not so today.
__________________
Dual-diagnosis: Treatment-resistant persistent depressive disorder Asperger's Syndrome
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Anonymous53876, Bark, Nammu, online user
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#39
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just barely getting by.
Made an appointment with a new T for next tuesday...gonna have to get a new Pdoc as well, the place I was going fell out of my insurance plan at work. I feel like I have to start all over again but that might not be a bad thing. I did get to see my daughter for a spell...she is just so sweet and it was her first day of school and she loves her new teacher. |
Bark, Nammu, NWgirl2013, online user
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#40
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Sad. Hurting. Been crying a bit... pms I guess...or at least, that's what I'll say it it...
... Just feeling like i'm sinking...
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A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go...] |
Bark, online user
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#41
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Have been better as of the past 3 nights, but half my face is still paralyzed so I still cant close my eye. What would happen tonight, but I pull out the tape I tape my eye shut with so I could sleep, and I was out. What a stupid problem. Now I don't know how I'll sleep and I feel dumb and worthless.
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Anonymous53876, Bark, bharani1008, Consumed84, Nammu, online user
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#42
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Like so many others I find myself composing things to share in my head, but.....faced with the blank page, I , I hesitate...... and words flee, fear, it is all an icy fear. The words flee. The mask of resoluteness slides into place and I'm all alone again, in isolation.....alone. I, Me, myself, id, ego, pride. Someday!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Bark, bharani1008, online user, tigersassy
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Bark, bharani1008, herethennow
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#43
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Woke up late, even took a nap for over an hour later on. Definitely felt worse after the nap, and before it as well. Didn't go out, didn't do things, didn't want to do anything. I'm glad that I decided to go for a walk with them... definitely helped. But I just totally wasted a day, and it's not like I took it as a day to rest. I wanted to curl up in the dark and just keep sleeping... that's the nicer thoughts, anyway.
I probably do need to get my meds tweaked, because of my fatigue and possibly low motivation. I was hoping that I'd finally found the perfect mix... but the tiredness is just... really tiring. |
bharani1008, Nammu, online user, tigerlily84
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#44
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Well well well
Here we are again. SSDD Not at all happy with where I am mentally. I had been doing so much better. Now I am just down, sad, depressed. Oh sure there are moments of joy and laughter....but its fleeting at best. There is an underlying down in everything now. |
Bark, bharani1008, Consumed84, online user, tigersassy
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#45
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Therapy today after work. Things could get deep. Not looking forward to it at all.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
Bark, bharani1008, online user, tigerlily84
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#46
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I'm glad it's Friday
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Bark, Grey Matter, online user
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tigersassy
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#47
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In pain today; want to see a chiropractor, but my medicaid doesnt cover and I dont have the money. Got my disability hearing in a few days and Im terrified.
__________________
"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower http://missracgel.wixsite.com/bearhugs |
Bark, bharani1008, Grey Matter, Nammu, online user
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#48
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Doing very, very horribly today for reasons having to do with my family.
__________________
Dual-diagnosis: Treatment-resistant persistent depressive disorder Asperger's Syndrome
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bharani1008, Grey Matter, Nammu, online user, shortandcute, tigerlily84
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#49
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Tired. Drained. Done.
__________________
“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
bharani1008, online user
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#50
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Kind of up and very down today.
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online user
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Closed Thread |
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