[Ohlostme]

VERY depressed tonight.

Feeling like nothing good will ever come to me.

Decided to drop someone who's been a friend for 8 years. We've only met once, in person - had our friendship via email, primarily. She lives across the country. I planned a 2 day trip back there for next month (she lives near where I used to live). She said I could stay with her, she'd drive me around, etc. I had planned it for mid-week (airfares are lower), but I've been offered a job, so I have to change the date to a weekend. Now she's saying that her bf always comes over on Saturdays and they've "never been apart on a weekend since they met." This is the guy she says is cold, emotionally unavailable, bad in bed and is a committment phobe. But he's her priority. She's got such a pitiful ego that she'll blow off a girlfriend she's had since long before she met him, and make him her priority. I hate women who blow off women friends when a man calls. She knows how important this trip is to me. I've missed that area (where I used to live) VERY much in the last 9 years, since I've been back where I live now. I hate it here and really, really wanted to make this trip. But I can't go if I have to pay for airfare, car rental and a hotel bill. (I was going to take a camcorder and shoot footage of the area. I can't drive myself and work a camera at the same time. I needed her to drive me) Her canceling means I can't go. So, I'm canceling -- our friendship. If things were reversed, and she wanted to stay with me, I'd tell any boyfriend I had that a girlfriend of mine was coming into town and he was welcome to join us, while we ran around, if he wanted to. But I would put HIM on hold, not tell her "you can't come over because I want to get laid this weekend." That's NOT a friend, in my book.

This life is so tiresome...

This new job I've been offered is something I need -- it's temp-to-perm. I've been unemployed for a while. I know I should be grateful for it, but I'm actually dreading it a little. I hate office jobs, and this is another one. More getting up early, fighting my way through traffic on a 40 minute commute to sit in a tiny cubicle (which I'll be sharing with some man I haven't met yet), and then fighting my way back to my apartment afterwards, collapsing on the bed, exhausted, day after weekday. Then trying to figure out what I can get done on the weekend (like laundry, shopping, etc) - the only time I'll have to do anything I want/need to do. The whole 9 to 5 thing got old to me LONG ago. But I haven't been able to come up with an idea for my own business (one that will support me), and my screenwriting/novelist career is just a dream that hasn't come true.

God, I'm tired...

[PasDeDeux]

OHLOST...I am so sorry that really is immature of your friend...I too would be hurt and mad as ........

[Bethsway]

Ohlostme I agree a friend shouldn't renig like that..all your plans shattered..that was not nice of her! Hopefully you will make a great new friend at your new job...someone you will connect with and will be there for you through thick and thin...Good luck with your new job!! ((((hugs))))

[FaithisAlive]

yeah.. I hate it turned out like this for ya hun.. and the thing is.. she must really be needy to blow off a friend for a man...I agree with you that its lame.. but some women just can't be without a man.Her loss.. a friend in you..

I hope the job goes well enuf to get you by until something does come up that is your passion... don't give up on that.. just give it time...Hang in there!

[Ohlostme]

Thanks for the support, gang.

"I hope the job goes well enuf to get you by until something does come up that is your passion... don't give up on that.. just give it time...Hang in there!"

It really helps to see that. Thanks, FIA. That's been the issue for me for a long time (finding my passion). Thinking of the new job as something just to "get me by" until my passion appears -- makes it seem less of a life sentence.