Bad bad bad bad bad

What more is there to say? I'm going down, and I can't find an emergency brake to pull. My psychiatrist decreased a med almost 2 weeks ago, so I'm going to go back to the original dosage, but that's not the likely cause. I'm alone... ugh I just want it to end.

But my thoughts are similar to med-problem thoughts... maybe that's all it is...

I feel so overwhelmed and alone - that much is certain, I AM overwhelmed and alone, whether my hopelessness is acurately-based or not.

I wish I could sleep this off...

((((Taonuviel))))) Wish I could help.
TC

well you may be overwhelmed, but you arent alone anymore, not now you have come to PC. and in time the overwhelming feelings you currently have will be easier and less overwhelming.

you have done the right thing by coming here and saying you need help. thats always a great sign.

take care of yourself and i look forward to seeing you around.

simon

((((((((((( Taonuviel )))))))))

Hold on tight, Taonuviel.

Let the meds settle down again.

You know you can do this, you've done it before.

You are strong. You are worth it. This I know.

Thanks...

Ugh... I feel so overloaded right now... and the problems keep coming. I'm a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding this weekend, and I found out today that, though I've lost weight, my dress won't fit because my ribcage is too big. So I spent the whole afternoon searching for another - at least we're all wearing different dresses, so it doesn't have to match, but I haven't found anything that's really right, and I missed all my classes today in the process. So I'll get up early tomorrow and try another mall... what a mess. I think I've managed to wear blisters on my feet, too, from searching in flip-flops all day.

I'm tempted to just skip the rest of my classes this week and work extra hard next week... I don't know. I'm also really concerned that I'm going to crash and end up in the hospital and not be able to finish my classes - again. I can't keep doing this...

And then there's that old familiar pull to just end it all... I know I'll be safe this week, I won't mess with the wedding. But after that, I don't know how I'll keep safe... it's SO hard... I don't even want to be safe...

Then there's so much more I don't even know how to express... some really tough things have come up the last few days... I'm so tired of trying to deal with it.