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Old Sep 19, 2013, 02:24 AM
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LadyShadow LadyShadow is offline
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So, tonight when I logged on to Facebook, I saw that my pretty friend got married. I'm 33 and will probably never get married. I don't feel good about myself, I don't date and don't put myself out there. I am so ugly no one will ever want me. So alone and sad, could really use some hugs right now.

Why do we look at facebook? I'm convinced its just a way for people to show off to their friends, and show how much their life is better than mine.

I hate this feeling
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  #2  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 02:28 AM
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Depressed after looking at Facebook, why do I look?



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  #3  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 02:43 AM
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Old Sep 19, 2013, 03:04 AM
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I'm sorry you're so lonely and sad. I am too. I made my Facebook just so I could be "out there" if anyone ever did want to contact me (which they don't). I don't go posting a million status updates every day like so many people do. Maybe because I have nothing to show off in my personal life. I don't have any friends. I thought I made some friends when I went to a Intensive Out-Patient Program, but they never contact me. They say they are "too busy", and then I see them log onto FaceBook every day. There is no way they are "too busy" to spend 5 seconds to send me a friendly text. All I get is a million Candy Crush Saga requests. Anyways, I am right there with you. I hate all these social media sites.
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  #5  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 03:10 AM
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I don't post a lot on facebook either. I just go on there to be nosy, so I guess I look for it? I know I am going to see something I don't like yet I go on there anyway.

I know what you mean about the Candy Crush Saga obsession people have. They are too busy to talk but they can send you a million requests for that stupid game. Pathetic.

I have no friends either.
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Old Sep 19, 2013, 03:55 AM
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I hate facebook! Also makes me sad, everyone seems to be getting on with life having a good time but I am sure some of it is over played....

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Depressed after looking at Facebook, why do I look?
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  #7  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 04:12 AM
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i'm so sorry you feel so down right now. I don't know if it helps but you always bring a smile to my face when I see you're on in the games section. You pick some of the best movies and actors. Just know you brighten someone's day and I hate FB too.
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  #8  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 08:31 AM
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  #9  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 11:00 AM
Laura Catherine Laura Catherine is offline
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first of all everyone goes down a different path in life....and you could find someone to date if you put yourself out there...maybe try a dating website with pictures...its not weird to do that anymore...but working at a restaurant ive seen the ugliest obese girls with good looking men, and vice versa....im sure its just your low self estee making you feel that way, and if you're over weight hun, you can lose weight trust me, i used to be 250 lbs 5'5 felt so hopeless would pray and cry everynight, well one day i decidedd im sick of feeling like this no more....so i started drinking a lot of water, and eating 3 small things a day...well the weight the first 100 lbs melted off in 3 months....and motivate yourself, once you lose 5 lbs, it motivates you to lose more and more..and if not just see a therapist, medication helps a lot, it saved my life...drink a lot of water.....trust me you can find a man or girlfriend, theres someone out there for everyone, i was a virgin til i was 26 then i met the man of my dreams...when i least expected it..if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone trust me hun...god bless you...try to pray, it helped me
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  #10  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 11:00 AM
Laura Catherine Laura Catherine is offline
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hope you feel better
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  #11  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 06:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raindropvampire View Post
i'm so sorry you feel so down right now. I don't know if it helps but you always bring a smile to my face when I see you're on in the games section. You pick some of the best movies and actors. Just know you brighten someone's day and I hate FB too.
Thanks, and seeing you too brightens my day
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  #12  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 11:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Laura Catherine View Post
first of all everyone goes down a different path in life....and you could find someone to date if you put yourself out there...maybe try a dating website with pictures...its not weird to do that anymore...but working at a restaurant ive seen the ugliest obese girls with good looking men, and vice versa....im sure its just your low self estee making you feel that way, and if you're over weight hun, you can lose weight trust me, i used to be 250 lbs 5'5 felt so hopeless would pray and cry everynight, well one day i decidedd im sick of feeling like this no more....so i started drinking a lot of water, and eating 3 small things a day...well the weight the first 100 lbs melted off in 3 months....and motivate yourself, once you lose 5 lbs, it motivates you to lose more and more..and if not just see a therapist, medication helps a lot, it saved my life...drink a lot of water.....trust me you can find a man or girlfriend, theres someone out there for everyone, i was a virgin til i was 26 then i met the man of my dreams...when i least expected it..if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone trust me hun...god bless you...try to pray, it helped me
Thanks for reaching out to me. I tried the online dating, that scene isn't for me. Being judged by a profile, and going through what feels like a hundred guys. I guess I don't have the willpower to look anymore.

I haven't prayed in a long time, I'm so guilty of so many things that I don't think praying is for me. As far as the weight thing, I have tried so many times to lose weight, I just don't have the motivation to do it.

I truly feel like I will be alone forever, and with all my friends pairing up and moving on without me, I see it on facebook, I see it everywhere. I don't have any friends, except my ex-boyfriend who seems to be stringing me on forever. I'm tired. Tired of trying. Tired of everything.
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  #13  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 02:12 AM
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Sadley Sadley is offline
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I tried online dating as well (but I am male so it is a little bit different [it is a lot harder for guys like me]). I'm on 4 different sites as we speak. I've been on match.com for 4 months and I haven't gotten a single response yet. I swear to God every single profile reads like this:

"I'm not looking for a fling. I'm looking for a guy who knows what he wants in life. If you don't know then don't even bother emailing me. I couldn't live without my dog. I like hiking, jogging, yoga, and reading."

I swear to God that is every profile I look at.
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  #14  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 05:01 PM
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Clara22 Clara22 is offline
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Hi PlatinumHeart,
Thank you for sharing this. Sorry if I have already read this expression, but to me Facebook should be called "Fakebook". Perhaps I am an older person that does not fit well in this new world, but, what the heck, I do not understand all the show off, the lies, the efforts to post a perfect life in Facebook. I belong to a time when people did not text or post, we used to talk to each other. In fact, I do not like phones and got a cellphone only when my employers obliged me to have one (they bought it for me). Of course, I am not a good example and, I am not saying the past was better. It was not better at all. Having said that, still we can use this new technologies to live better, to communicate. I do not hate Facebook but, watch out, be mindful that many people are not totally sincere there. And.. who told you that probably you will not get married, ever? And... who told you that being married is equal to happiness? And... Who told you that being beautiful is equivalent to being happy? These are just representations of reality, what Hollywood, fairy tails, etc tell people to put in order our society, to tell us what to do. And to sell us things. I do not know if that girl that is getting married will be happy. But I know that you have the power to be happy. Sometimes, because happiness is not a permanent status. I can see you are learning how to know more about yourself, you are going deep inside. That is why I feel you have the possibility to be happy. I wish you the best
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  #15  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 08:18 PM
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Well put Clara22! Thanks I think we all could learn from your great post I myself do not belong on facebook and I am 31. It is Fake everything about it is fake.
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  #16  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 09:25 PM
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I've hated FB even before my depression kicked in but I despised it even more after. I always felt worst after having a newsfeed session, I only made a FB so I could be kept up to date but I realized that it didnt really matter anymore. I deactivated my FB and there are times when I tempted to go back but I'm generally happy with my decision.
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  #17  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 10:48 PM
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I used to feel the same way about Facebook (I still feel the same way about everything else you said though) and then I deleted my Facebook. This will probably make my future career more difficult to not have one (this annoys the hell out of me), but I don't do social networking for these reasons. There is something subtly wrong and possibly even evil somewhere deep within the concept that is "Facebook", so I would just suggest deleting it. Especially if you don't get anything good out of it (at least you're not indicating that you do).
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  #18  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 05:35 PM
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Thanks for all your responses. There seems to be a lot of threads about Facebook so I don't seem so alone in my ideas about it.

I have recently stopped going on there, I just can't deal with it anymore. No one has anything good to say except show off their current lives.

I agree with a lot of what these posters on this thread said, it is a "Fakebook" if you ask me. Just a bunch of fakes showing off. I am jealous and hateful but I don't care. I just want everyone to be as miserable as me.
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  #19  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 06:31 PM
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I can totally relate. I deleted mines so I won't have to feel bad.
  #20  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 08:28 PM
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psychmajortwenty2 psychmajortwenty2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadley View Post
They say they are "too busy", and then I see them log onto FaceBook every day. There is no way they are "too busy" to spend 5 seconds to send me a friendly text. All I get is a million Candy Crush Saga requests. Anyways, I am right there with you. I hate all these social media sites.
I don't know if you meant that to be funny, but I thought that was hilarious about the Candy Crush Saga thing because it's so true! I've seen people get caught at work because they send other people requests to join that and then ppl know they're on Facebook.

Facebook is also just awkward because you can tell when someone has been on and written on someone else's wall, but didn't reply to your message. It's like it's meant to make you feel "ouch" sometimes...
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  #21  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 08:45 PM
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psychmajortwenty2 psychmajortwenty2 is offline
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Originally Posted by Sadley View Post
I tried online dating as well (but I am male so it is a little bit different [it is a lot harder for guys like me]). I'm on 4 different sites as we speak. I've been on match.com for 4 months and I haven't gotten a single response yet. I swear to God every single profile reads like this:

"I'm not looking for a fling. I'm looking for a guy who knows what he wants in life. If you don't know then don't even bother emailing me. I couldn't live without my dog. I like hiking, jogging, yoga, and reading."

I swear to God that is every profile I look at.
I also don't know if you meant for this to be funny, but this made me laugh!

It is soooo true. Every online dating profile seems to read the same thing. It's like a mad lib.. but filled out slightly differently each time.

I was on POF for a while. It seemed like all the guys profiles would read something like: Hi, I'm _____. I'm into _____, outdoors, _____, sports, ____, and ______. I like hanging out with my buddies. I love my dog. If you're a girl whose up for fun and hanging out, contact me!
(It's like people on dating sites are weirdly all extroverted, they're all dog people!)

95% of the private messages I would get on the dating site would just read: "Hey" Or some kind of greeting like that. Hardly anyone tried to get a conversation going... I would have to be the one to start it. I figured if they really wanted to talk with me, they'd make an effort first so I never really bothered trying to talk with them back. I usually hate small talk.

And then I went on one blind date. a guy I took a chance on because I thought he couldn't be creepy because we coincidentally had some mutual friends we found out over Facebook and he used to go to a church youth group that I used to. It was... the worst and only first actual official date I have ever been on.

NEVER TRUST PICTURES ON THE INTERNET. ever. He was so much shorter than he said (5'6 my ***), his eyes were farther apart, he had this weird lisp. I could have gotten over appearances IF the conversation had been fine. But I could tell he was just saying a bunch of stuff to agree with me to get on my good side... he was doing it so much that it became painfully obvious and annoying to me. At the same time, it didn't seem like he was listening to me at all. He would quickly say he agreed with me or knew what I was talking about.. trying to finish my sentence.. when he didn't actually know at all! And then he implied near the end of our date, and then made it more obvious because he didn't think I was getting it, that in case I didn't want to date, we could just see each other in a sexual way... and I was like... SERIOUSLY?

The date was so bad that I texted a friend when he wasn't looking, and told her to call me with a fake emergency... I tried to escape when we were paying his bill. He caught me.. offered to bus with me. I tried hinting over and over subtly in different ways throughout the date without bluntly saying it that I wasn't interested... so I tried again.. being like.. oh it's far away and I have to catch a certain bus. He said he'd wait with me.. and I said I actually had to go to use the public bathroom at the university (which was right on the street by us) and he said he'd wait at the bathroom stall! Finally I was like, no, you should probably just go to your place. His face changed and got serious and he was like.. I have nothing to do there. All I would be doing is napping. And I was like.. you could probably use a nap. And his face got more serious still and was like.. are you telling me to leave? And finally I was like Yes!

Then we had the most awkwardest of hugs (his hug was like.. waaaay too close and in my space..like he was trying to wriggle himself completely around me). And I walked away not looking back. I was absolutely mortified about that date. ... I can laugh about it now. Even right after it, I have a good sense of humor about things, I was laughing then too.

But like.. wow. I decided online dating was not for me. I deleted my profile after that.

Sorry, that was waaaay longer than you were looking for but I couldn't resist lol
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  #22  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 10:02 PM
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Only reason I went on facebook was to network with companies, not people. I don't feel bad about being anonymous on facebook when I could see the potential of loss of privacy to friends of friends and others not known to me, but knowing more about me than I about them.

If anyone saw the movie about how facebook started, then one would understand how "privacy" and keep up with Jones' morphed into a company that made the founder of facebook, a millionaire.
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  #23  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 10:05 PM
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Absolutely true! The founder of facebook I think is a billionaire. People send me requests for all these games that they probably pay into, as well as all the ads and pages that you are supposed to "like". Its all commercial.
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  #24  
Old Sep 25, 2013, 04:09 AM
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Sadley Sadley is offline
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Originally Posted by psychmajortwenty2 View Post
I don't know if you meant that to be funny, but I thought that was hilarious about the Candy Crush Saga thing because it's so true! I've seen people get caught at work because they send other people requests to join that and then ppl know they're on Facebook.

Facebook is also just awkward because you can tell when someone has been on and written on someone else's wall, but didn't reply to your message. It's like it's meant to make you feel "ouch" sometimes...
I didn't really mean for it to be funny, but that's ok if you found it that way. It sucks because I thought I had made a friend but whenever I try to contact her she doesn't reply, and then she keeps spamming me with these "extra life" requests. I also got Candy Crush requests at work, because co-workers are playing the game at work! Ridiculous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychmajortwenty2 View Post
I also don't know if you meant for this to be funny, but this made me laugh!

It is soooo true. Every online dating profile seems to read the same thing. It's like a mad lib.. but filled out slightly differently each time.

I was on POF for a while. It seemed like all the guys profiles would read something like: Hi, I'm _____. I'm into _____, outdoors, _____, sports, ____, and ______. I like hanging out with my buddies. I love my dog. If you're a girl whose up for fun and hanging out, contact me!
(It's like people on dating sites are weirdly all extroverted, they're all dog people!)

95% of the private messages I would get on the dating site would just read: "Hey" Or some kind of greeting like that. Hardly anyone tried to get a conversation going... I would have to be the one to start it. I figured if they really wanted to talk with me, they'd make an effort first so I never really bothered trying to talk with them back. I usually hate small talk.

And then I went on one blind date. a guy I took a chance on because I thought he couldn't be creepy because we coincidentally had some mutual friends we found out over Facebook and he used to go to a church youth group that I used to. It was... the worst and only first actual official date I have ever been on.

NEVER TRUST PICTURES ON THE INTERNET. ever. He was so much shorter than he said (5'6 my ***), his eyes were farther apart, he had this weird lisp. I could have gotten over appearances IF the conversation had been fine. But I could tell he was just saying a bunch of stuff to agree with me to get on my good side... he was doing it so much that it became painfully obvious and annoying to me. At the same time, it didn't seem like he was listening to me at all. He would quickly say he agreed with me or knew what I was talking about.. trying to finish my sentence.. when he didn't actually know at all! And then he implied near the end of our date, and then made it more obvious because he didn't think I was getting it, that in case I didn't want to date, we could just see each other in a sexual way... and I was like... SERIOUSLY?

The date was so bad that I texted a friend when he wasn't looking, and told her to call me with a fake emergency... I tried to escape when we were paying his bill. He caught me.. offered to bus with me. I tried hinting over and over subtly in different ways throughout the date without bluntly saying it that I wasn't interested... so I tried again.. being like.. oh it's far away and I have to catch a certain bus. He said he'd wait with me.. and I said I actually had to go to use the public bathroom at the university (which was right on the street by us) and he said he'd wait at the bathroom stall! Finally I was like, no, you should probably just go to your place. His face changed and got serious and he was like.. I have nothing to do there. All I would be doing is napping. And I was like.. you could probably use a nap. And his face got more serious still and was like.. are you telling me to leave? And finally I was like Yes!

Then we had the most awkwardest of hugs (his hug was like.. waaaay too close and in my space..like he was trying to wriggle himself completely around me). And I walked away not looking back. I was absolutely mortified about that date. ... I can laugh about it now. Even right after it, I have a good sense of humor about things, I was laughing then too.

But like.. wow. I decided online dating was not for me. I deleted my profile after that.

Sorry, that was waaaay longer than you were looking for but I couldn't resist lol
I don't really find it funny, but that's ok if you do. It's more like a nightmare to me.

I've been on POF as well, not having any luck. Well I'm definitely not extroverted, and I try hard to make my profile sound non-cliche. Also not a dog person. When I pm a girl I always make sure I ask her some kind of question relevant to her profile, as well as comment on some things we have in common.

The one girl that I did go out with (and this was the first and only date I've had in my life) didn't look anything like her picture either. It went horribly for me too. She brought her friend from work, and she left only after like 30 minutes. I have to say I am probably too agreeable myself, and I don't know how not to be nice as it seems most girls get turned off by this.
  #25  
Old Sep 25, 2013, 01:24 PM
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psychmajortwenty2 psychmajortwenty2 is offline
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Originally Posted by Sadley View Post
I've been on POF as well, not having any luck. Well I'm definitely not extroverted, and I try hard to make my profile sound non-cliche. Also not a dog person. When I pm a girl I always make sure I ask her some kind of question relevant to her profile, as well as comment on some things we have in common.

The one girl that I did go out with (and this was the first and only date I've had in my life) didn't look anything like her picture either. It went horribly for me too. She brought her friend from work, and she left only after like 30 minutes. I have to say I am probably too agreeable myself, and I don't know how not to be nice as it seems most girls get turned off by this.
Well, as long as you are genuinely nice... I see nothing wrong with that. I know it sounds terribly cliche.. but I guess you just have to meet the right person for you. If she's right, she'll love being treated with kindness! Honestly, I hate that nice guys seem to come last. It's like girls have a masochistic fascination with guys who are bad for them. Maybe we all have a Saviour complex or like a mother complex where we think we can save them and nurture those bad guys into being better men. I don't know.

Just keep trying. That's all we can do. Maybe try in different ways? Find some kind of local club or hobby place that you can join of a subject or activity that you're really into?
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