[themonster7]

Over this summer I got shingles in my ear. I was bedridden for 2 months, half my face was paralyzed, I lost 15 pounds (6 foot 120 pounds) and I lost contact with all except for my family. I can almost fully smile now, and I can almost close both my eyes. I have 3 new groups of friends (that I mainly drink with) and I've broken my barriers enough to tell these people how I truly feel. Why is my depression not getting better? Everything that could possibly start improving has improved, except for this impossibly overwhelming despair. I don't know what to do anymore.

[themonster7]

I start to believe in myself, nothing gets better. I start to do things for myself, nothing gets better. I make friends, nothing gets better. I saw a therapist until I went broke, nothing got better. The second I go home and am away from people it all starts all over again.

[Poppy Princess]

You've been so kind here. I'm not kidding when I say this made me cry. You're so special. Here's a hug. I pray and hope you get better <3

[themonster7]

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

You've been so kind here. I'm not kidding when I say this made me cry.

Sorry I made you cry, I'm feeling a lot better now, last night was just a really bad night.

Many hugs to you (((themonster))), I am really sorry you had a bad night last night. You've made so many positive steps forward already, good for you! I think maybe just give it a little more time to let yourself recognize that it is actually getting better. Keep getting out an socializing and being around people who understand and accept you. That's awesome you had the guts to tell that many people. I was having a rough night last night too but then I remembered something you told me "just go to bed". at night things always get the darkest and from now on when things get dark for me I will remember to just go to bed because things always look brighter in the morning.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry you had a bad night. I understand, my depression won't lift either. It is disheartening not to get better when you do all the right things. We just have to keep going one day at a time and hope that one day will be the one that find us better.