[Phoobear]

I am sinking deeper and deeper. I don't feel up to see any people just want to lock myself in my room and cry and cry. I don't know how it feels to be really happy and enjoying life. I do enjoy my son and husband. I don't want to see t anymore don't feel like its working. Want to leave meds as well. I struggle to talk about what is going on avoid human contact better to keep it to myself then no one can judge me. This has been a very long struggle for me and i am loosing. Help anyone!

[gayleggg]

Hi, Phoobear. This may not be the time to go med free. Sounds like your doctor may need to adjust your meds instead taking you off of them. I know that feeling of sinking lower. I have been to the bottom and am still struggling for anything better than where I'm at right now. I, however, have faith in medication because I doubt I would be here if i didn't. Please see you doctor before you get any lower.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Phoobear

This has been a very long struggle for me and i am loosing.

Phoobear, my impression is that this is the lowest you've ever been in depression, is that true?

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Please see you doctor before you get any lower.

Yes. Now is the time to press the inadequacy of both the meds and the therapy with your providers. You may not yet be in an emergency situation, but you need urgent attention.

Regarding taking needed action, depression can be disabling. If necessary, do you have anyone who can assist you in getting through the medico-bureaucratic gatekeepers between you and your providers?

[Phoobear]

Yes this is the lowest ever. Not far from emergency. My hubby is there for me but i don't want to burden him. I don't have a good friend thats really there for me. I don't want to waste any more money. Is it rally working effetely? How long will this cary on?

[themonster7]

How long will this carry on? Hopefully not for long but unfortunately it's very possible this can be extremely long term.
I'd hate to have to break that news to you. I'm losing this struggle too but I'm still fighting it out. Fight it out with me? Just because you feel really low now doesn't mean it's not worth the exhilaration and joy you can at one point feel in your life.

[Phoobear]

Thank you all. Will see when I'm seeing my t next saturday and if i go. Will try a little bit more to fight it but don't know if i will succeed. Luckily i found pc so know I'm not alone. Just be there for me and keep me going. I can not do this to my son 4 years old. Cant go inpatient to dramatic for him. Its affecting my sleep and work. Sorry for being so low and complaining just need to talk to someone not face to face

[Fuzzybear]

[RomanG]

The key to overcoming your depression is not attempting to combat it head-on, but attaining an understanding of the psychological processes behind it. A big reason why many people find depression so hard to deal with is that they are only thinking about their condition from inside of it. They may think self-criticizing thoughts like:
I get extremely angry at the drop of a hat. I am overcome by a huge amount of anxiety in even the most non-threatening of social situations. I find it nearly impossible to get out of bed. I can't stop thinking about my past shameful actions. And so on.
By instinct, people tacitly assume that their thinking, rational selves and their emotional, depressed selves are all part of the same "I". They thus implicitly consider their depression to be an internal problem, an invasive entity inside them that they must oppose using their wits and rationality. But it is instructive that exactly no one succeeds in this.
It is, in fact, much more true that these people are contained inside of their depression than that their depression is contained inside of them. The unconscious, emotional part of the human mind is dominant over the thinking, rational part, and it is impossible to directly overcome the first with the second. It is like attempting to pull oneself out of a swamp by one's own hair.
Like in the hair and swamp analogy, in which the mired person needs a pulley attached to a fixed external point (a branch, for example) in order to pull himself out, the depressed person needs an external perspective into his own problems and cognition in order to understand his depression and free himself from it. That is the best use a person's rational mind can have in combating depression: acquiring an understanding of its psychological causes and nuances in order to deal with the problem at the source, instead of futilely and exhaustingly battling against its symptoms.

[Phoobear]

I want to jump in the car and just drive and drive. Don't wan to be alone but want to be alone. Trying to keep my mind busy but its not working. I don't want to do something stupid but all the bad things is repeating itself i want to forget. Im so alone and i want to be close to someone that you know will always be there no matter what and will not judge you nor tell you to just snap out of it. Will i ever feel that i really mean something to a friend?

hang in there foooo. Consider ME your friend. Any time.... ANY time you need me.

[Phoobear]

I made a appointment to go and see t saturday. Will try and see pdoc next week. I cant go on anymore