[Searcher2468]

Hi,
I am looking for a like-minded friend that would be up for chatting via email occasionally. I have tried so many things to help with my depression but at the end of the day, the feeling of being alone in this is what is the hardest.
First I will give some details about myself and my situation. If you are someone that can relate I would love to chat.
-I am a 28 year old female
-I have dealt with depression since I was a young teenager
-I was medicated for a while but have become too sensitive to any sort of meds so just trying to find other ways to cope
-I have tried a million things including supplements, hypnosis, therapy, detoxes, and much more. Each time something fails I feel more and more hopeless. And the lack of motivation that comes with depression makes it hard to keep pushing to find something that works.
-I deal with anxiety as well. It seems to be the worst body contradiction ever!.... Feeling exhausted and completely unmotivated from the depression and buzzing from the inside out and totally stir crazy from the anxiety, along with a number of physical symptoms...many times I find it hard to even catch my breath
-I have an amazing fiance and looking from the outside a seemingly perfect life. All of this makes me even more frustrated with my depression and harder to explain to people. I have no reason to be depressed and have no way of explaining myself to my fiance or my family.
-I often feel completely alone in this. My family never really talked about their feelings and this disease is not really something you go around talking about. So it would be very nice to know what other people feel who are depressed. I know deep down that I am not the only one with these feelings of utter sadness that seem to take over me like a demon.
-I often wonder how I am ever to have a normal life. I don't know if I will ever be able to have children. I can't imagine what kind of awful post partum depression I would have. And I can't imagine trying to take care of a child during one of my dark episodes.
-This is my first "real" long term relationship. I know that my fiance loves me but I've never been around someone like this when I become depressed. Usually I shut myself out from the world, cry, stay in bed...whatever. But I can't do that now that I live with someone. I don't want him to see me like that, but it becomes very hard pretending to be happy when I'm not. And I don't want him to think it is his fault. Again how to do you explain to someone that you are sad for no reason at all!?
I'm not necessarily looking for someone to talk to every single day but would like to talk to someone that is consistent with their correspondence.
Looking forward to chatting!!

[manwithnofriends]

you don't need one specific person, everyone (even the guys on here) will be happy to help

...oh, by the way...

-This is my first "real" long term relationship. I know that my fiance loves me but I've never been around someone like this when I become depressed. Usually I shut myself out from the world, cry, stay in bed...whatever. But I can't do that now that I live with someone. I don't want him to see me like that, but it becomes very hard pretending to be happy when I'm not. And I don't want him to think it is his fault. Again how to do you explain to someone that you are sad for no reason at all!?

...it's only human to cry, to seek comfort when you don't feel well. It's how friendships and bonds grow. So you should open up to him. Pretense and secrecy only raises suspicion until it ends up being unleashed in some kind of fiery rage. i.e. not good for a relationship.

[Searcher2468]

Thank you for the response. Yes I have opened up to him and he has been very understanding. I just feel as time goes by and the same ole situation arises that it becomes old and burdensome. Kind of like, here we go again! I know that he loves me but I just want to be better...to feel normal. Deep down I think he feels like he's doing something wrong because he can't make me happy and it hurts. I understand that it's unhealthy to bottle things up but what do you do when you just feel hopeless and depressed? Ask for space to feel emotions, tell him I just need to cry it out, try to explain that I've always been like this and always will be like this?...hard to know what to do.

[crylight]

I agree with what manwithnofriends said. You, just like everyone else, is welcome to share stories and discuss your issues with the people here.

I struggle with depression just as you do, I think that it doesn't matter what level it is, but everyone's depression isolates them and makes others feel cut off from them. Even when it comes to other people with depression. I hope you find a way to work things out, and opening up little by little will help other people know how to better connect with you. They need your understanding just as much as you need theirs.

You are loved and unique.

[Fuzzybear]

[Catsarecool]

Hi I'm a nearly 18 year old girl and would love to have a pen pal to chat to just private message me and il give you my email. I also deal with depression.

[Pierro]

Welcome to Psych Central Searcher, this is the man that you are going to be with for the rest of your lives, so it is important to tell him how you feel, how you are dealing with things ( or not ). I think you should have a heart to heart and tell him what you told us. You can pm me anytime. Best wishes.

[conswell]

Originally Posted by Searcher2468

Hi,
I am looking for a like-minded friend that would be up for chatting via email occasionally. I have tried so many things to help with my depression but at the end of the day, the feeling of being alone in this is what is the hardest.
First I will give some details about myself and my situation. If you are someone that can relate I would love to chat.
-I am a 28 year old female
-I have dealt with depression since I was a young teenager
-I was medicated for a while but have become too sensitive to any sort of meds so just trying to find other ways to cope
-I have tried a million things including supplements, hypnosis, therapy, detoxes, and much more. Each time something fails I feel more and more hopeless. And the lack of motivation that comes with depression makes it hard to keep pushing to find something that works.
-I deal with anxiety as well. It seems to be the worst body contradiction ever!.... Feeling exhausted and completely unmotivated from the depression and buzzing from the inside out and totally stir crazy from the anxiety, along with a number of physical symptoms...many times I find it hard to even catch my breath
-I have an amazing fiance and looking from the outside a seemingly perfect life. All of this makes me even more frustrated with my depression and harder to explain to people. I have no reason to be depressed and have no way of explaining myself to my fiance or my family.
-I often feel completely alone in this. My family never really talked about their feelings and this disease is not really something you go around talking about. So it would be very nice to know what other people feel who are depressed. I know deep down that I am not the only one with these feelings of utter sadness that seem to take over me like a demon.
-I often wonder how I am ever to have a normal life. I don't know if I will ever be able to have children. I can't imagine what kind of awful post partum depression I would have. And I can't imagine trying to take care of a child during one of my dark episodes.
-This is my first "real" long term relationship. I know that my fiance loves me but I've never been around someone like this when I become depressed. Usually I shut myself out from the world, cry, stay in bed...whatever. But I can't do that now that I live with someone. I don't want him to see me like that, but it becomes very hard pretending to be happy when I'm not. And I don't want him to think it is his fault. Again how to do you explain to someone that you are sad for no reason at all!?
I'm not necessarily looking for someone to talk to every single day but would like to talk to someone that is consistent with their correspondence.
Looking forward to chatting!!

I think you & I could be pen pals. I'm 33, single, and suffer from Major Depressive Disorder for about 13 years. I can truly relate, besides the fiance thing. I haven't been able to find a man that can deal with my depression. My long term, on-off again boyfriend has had it with me & I somewhat understand how hard it is to deal with someone suffering from depression. I've often brought up the subject of children with my therapist. Getting off my meds (Pristiq) & dealing with postpartum scares the hell out of me. I often feel very alone & that no one can relate because all of friends have husbands and children to deal with and I have nothing to come home to but a DVR. I think we can help each other. I'm unable to post my email address because I haven't posted enough. We will have to find another way to get those to each other. Best wishes.