[Grey Matter]

We found out today a whole bunch of things that has my family falling apart.

Yesterday my grandfather had a biopsy done to find out he has bladder cancer. This is being near a year in remission from prostate cancer. And what breaks my heart the most is that he said "if I had a gun I'd just put a bullet through my head.". How do people keep expecting people to fight again and again? I am fighting one thing and I am so ready to give up. I can't imagine his pain.

We also found out we do not have the money for our rent. Which means a very possible eviction which means having no where to go. I don't even want to talk about it too much because I am going to be sick. My extended family (who knows ALL of our business some how) is angry with me because I took a leave from work due to my health issues. Apparently it's all my fault. Apparently if we end up homeless it's all on my shoulders because I GOT SICK.

I am so ready to give up at this point. Be that from mentally checking out or running away. I am done with this all. I'll let my body consume it's self and live in a box alone and maybe, maybe, just smile and mean it. Because the life has already been sucked out of me. If there are souls my is certainly gone, and I don't even want it back.

[toscana]

Grey...I came on here today to post about my issues but when I read yours I had to respond. There are many times when we have to deal with these horrible things that come into our lives. Sometimes it just gets to be too much and we wish we could "check out". That was how I was feeling today. Our stories are similar but different...I know that makes no sense. But we both have money problems...took time off work for our health...no money for rent/mortgage on my part...family dealing with serious medical problems...and the list goes on.

I don't know what to tell you that would help except that I am there with you. I want you to know that just reading your post boosted me just a teensy bit and that is a good thing. We never know how our posts are going to affect others. Would a hug be appropriate?

Hey, I don't know precisely what your health issues are, but my reaction to bad things is to come up with a plan of attack.

THIS is a great resource list- a huge number of organizations and groups that can offer all kinds of financial assistance [things you wouldn't imagine]... it's by diagnosis and then there are some that are organized into location, several that are general "any kind of sick" assitance.

I really encourage you to look at this list, there is a good chance you will find someone who can assist.

[pm me if you have any questions or anything?]

ETA: If you want help sorting through the list I have a bit of time, as well

[gayleggg]

Grey Matter, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I know that must be a painful time for your family and of course, your grandfather. That "C" word is very scary. Been there, all you want is it to be gone. Hope they can help your grandfather.

Sorry your family is taking it out on you about not being able to pay the rent. Extended families should mind their own business. I have some I have excluded from my life because they are such triggers. I hope your family finds a way to get the rent paid. You need to take care of yourself.