[The Fox & the Hound]

For the past week & a half I was fine. A few days ago, I got really depressed again,& then started being rude to my friend again. The suicidal thoughts are back again too.

Why do I get depressed over & over again? Why don't I stay happy? Heck, there was only one day,when I was truly happy. I use to be happy a few years ago, I'm not anymore.

it is the nature of "the beast"........

You may not see me - but I am in the same boat as you. Fortunately, today feels a little better. But (I am guessing this is not unique) - part of me is almost *afraid* to say I am doing better - cuz that can trigger me into falling harder into my darkness.

[unfearless]

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

For the past week & a half I was fine. A few days ago, I got really depressed again,& then started being rude to my friend again. The suicidal thoughts are back again too.

Why do I get depressed over & over again? Why don't I stay happy? Heck, there was only one day,when I was truly happy. I use to be happy a few years ago, I'm not anymore.

i used to be happy and normal. until i was 13, 14, and then 15 things gets worst, i realized that i just wanna die eversince i was 16. Now, happy is just one little moment in my life, come and go too fast. depressed, suicidal, i can feel what you feel. If there is one peaceful way to end this, i would do it. But nothing is peace in this world. So i guess i'm stuck in here for the rest of my life.

[The Fox & the Hound]

Yea, I start getting depressed when I was 15,I'm almost 17 now.
Personally I don't want to get better- I don't know why though.

I'm just depressed now,& if I'm depressed for long periods of times, I get exteremely suicidal. I get really strong urges.

IDK why it goes in cycles, but I'm not happy. I kinda hate myself. I'm just so rude.

[regretful]

Glad to know that you're reaching out in this forum. I've had two bouts of major depression in my 48 years, both of which did not emerge until I was well over 40. I'm sure that you've both (unfearless/Fox & the Hound) have heard/read about what has helped others. These forums helped me, as did medications in the short term.

Upon reflection, what consistently helps me has been to stay in the present, always looking for that for which I am thankful. Looking too far ahead, for me, always results in anxiety, and rehashing the past results in depression.

Do what you can to find a community of people from whom you can draw support. Stay connected; give therapy a try; if that doesn't work, then try a combination of medication and therapy...above all, know that depression does subside...it has for me.

Best wishes to you in finding some comfort from the debilitating effects of depression.

[jesusplay]

Seek professional help.

[The Fox & the Hound]

I'm under 18, & still in H.S.So IDK about the group thing.

I hate seeing all these happy people. I always convenience myself that every one is "secretly depressed". Whenever SI,depression, suicide, or anything similar to that, is mentioned I get uncomfortable. But I also obsess over it to.

I just wish I could be happy. I just get these severe bouts of depression.& I then get extremely suicidal. I won't exactly be happy. I am just really irritable, & I can't explain the feeling.

Very sorry if I am repeating things over & over again

[Idiot17]

Don't be sorry for repeating yourself, it ain't a problem.

[Daeva]

Depression steals our happiness, it allows us to think we are better then it comes up like a beast. It's like that movie 1408.

[Idealsummerluvv]

Sending hugs to you all.