Regret

So my main source of depression is my children. I have 2, one girl who is almost 5 and a son who is 2. Most days I really really don't want to have anything to do with them and the littlest thing sets me off. I yell way too much and every day I regret having them. I really feel no connection to them and feel horrible about it.

I'm not sure how to tell my husband this, I have tried in the past but he doesn't believe me. I'm not sure if this falls under general depression or if there is something more specific that it is called. I know I need to see a psychologist, but I really hate talking about it. And, with the 2 of them in pre-school and such, I really don't have any time due to lack of childcare to talk to anyone anyway.

Hi Rosa I'm so sorry that you're having these feelings, and I wish that I could take them away! I know that it's difficult... do you think that it has anything to do with postpartum depression? Did this depression because of your kids start right after they were born? And also, I know that you might not have time to see a psychiatrist, but maybe if you could take just an hour once a week of your time, it might help with your depression and your feelings towards your children Let me know!

In this case, for yourself, and your children, it may be very important to get some help from a professional. (what was your mother like?) The children will/do "know" on some level the way you feel but are far to young to really know, or react as they may when older. Your caring is important to them, it is essential for their health. Perhaps your doc, or their pediatrician can refer. There is also a group called Parents Anonymous---check them out.