I am just wondering whether others feel the same way i do. see, all my life ive had people "playing" with me, whether it be the sexual abuse i suffered where i was just treated like a toy, or if its a kid at school who thought it was ok to put his hand down my trousers, but its emotional games people play too. it just seems all people want to do with me is play.

Julie, from work did the same. she played me for a fool. she strung me along because i showed her attention because i really liked her, then she drops me like a ton of bricks. i have it all the time from people, and i cant understand why. i know its an insecurity in themselves, but they dont play these games with anyone, its usually me, i am easily open to it!? am i a fool? and how do i stop people doing this, i wish i knew how.

i have "friends" that i dont hear from for weeks, sometimes months, and then suddenly one day they get in touch, tell me ALL their problems and after i use my energy helping them, they go away and i dont hear from them again. ive stopped helping them now as im fed up of being used like a toy, so i dont ever hear from them now.

i think thats why i am weary of people who show care and consideration towards me, because i assume they are playing me. so i dont let people get close because of the fear of being hurt. but then when i do decide to trust someone, they end up playing with me emotionally.

it seems all i do is repair my feelings because someone has destroyed them. im an expert at being strong for myself, and when i am "played with" i do get over it quickly, quickly enough anyway. but i am tired of always having to get over it, repair the damage. i just fear that someone is going to get deep inside my defense and really do some damage.

what gives people the right to do this?

Have any of you experienced the same?

thanks for listening

simon

[biplol]

((((((simon)))))) So sorry to hear this hon.
You deserve better and yes, I've been there too.
I don't know what advise to give you, just PM me anytime~

[sammi]

Yeah i know what you mean. Last year i had a friend that was guy (dave) . I met him during high school several years ago. We were always close. Last year when things were really bad for both me and him we were always there for each other. Phone calls during school, phone call late at night. Whatever it took for us both to get through the day. Over the summer things just changed. He moved on with his life, and left me in the whole that he had made. Its taken me a while to get over. Even still.

I don't know if its just that i'm naive and don't expect ppl to hurt me or what. I have trouble trusting others as well. I've been hurt and abandoned by some many people in my lifetime. Including my own mother.

I think the only thing to do is try and have faith. I don't open up to anybody easily. My walls are all pretty high. IF they're a good person and a good friend to you , you'll know.

If they are not then you walk away. As simple as that. If that person is only hurting you or messing with you then they are not somebody you need in your life. You deserve so much more then that.

Take care
sammi

[jacq10]

((((((((Simon))))))))
I'm sorry you are feeling so used by everyone, and feeling like its hard to trust people because of that. You are such a good and caring person and you don't deserve any of that. I think that maybe people can "see" you are a caraing person, and thats why they feel like they can trust you with their problems .. but the problem is, that they don't actually see what they are doing. Sometimes people are just so concerned with their own problems, or just overwhelemed with their own life that they aren't as aware of what they may be doing to other people. IMO though, if Julie did just discard you so easily, well you deserve SO much better Simon. I know that doens't help right now, but just try and be patient, and the right person will come along.
I may not be in the exact same position as you, but i do know what it feels like to be used as a pon, or a toy. I don't have all the answers, but just keep being the good person you are. These people in your life that are hurting you ... well in the long run they are hurting themselves. One day they are going to look back and realise all too late that they are alone. That the people they use to have in their lives aren't there anymore. That they don't have an honest person like YOU anymore.
I'm sorry if i haven't helped at all ... but just know that i understand how you are feeling, and you're not 100% alone in this.
Take good care,
Jacq

[Fuzzybear]

I've been there too. I'm very sorry this has happened to you so much, you deserve so much better!
grrrrrr It makes me growly

(((((((((((( Simon )))))))))))))

thank you all.

it is always hard to deal with when you realise you have been "played" with. and it just hurts me because i have a lot of love to give someone and i feel my personality is being used, being abused. obviously i cant shut off my heart to anyone, because the heart that fears being hurt is the heart that never loves. there are song lyrics that say that, its from a song called "the rose" from Janis Joplin incase you wondered.

thank you biplol (big sis hehe), sammi, jacq10 and fuzzybear. your kind words are helping me repair my open wounds. im glad you guys are here. thank you.

take care

simon

[phillygirl]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sammi said:
Yeah i know what you mean. Last year i had a friend that was guy (dave) . I met him during high school several years ago. We were always close. Last year when things were really bad for both me and him we were always there for each other. Phone calls during school, phone call late at night. Whatever it took for us both to get through the day. Over the summer things just changed. He moved on with his life, and left me in the whole that he had made. Its taken me a while to get over. Even still.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Simon, I understand your hurt. I've always been 'that friend' too. The one who'll listen and not ask much in return (that's me, dunno about you), who will always be there to pick up the pieces. Well my pieces hurt too. That's what no one understands.

OK Sammi, your turn to write EXACTLY what my summer has been like, right down to the guy named Dave. It's quite eerie actually. Substitue work for school and you have it. Add a suicide attempt on his part and a lot of codependence (ok, there was that on my part too), just to make it more fun. But now he doesn't need me and threw me away and I'm not dealing very well still.

I feel for the both of you! (((((((((((((Simon & Sammi))))))))))))) I wish I could tell you something that would make it easier but I don't know what that is. Or maybe I should be asking... what do you do to make it better?

hi phillygirl, i dont think i have met you properly yet, so hi, nice to meet you. and welcome to PC.

yea i am the same, i never ask for anythign in return. maybe thats where we go wrong, who knows. ive always been the type of character tyo just get on with things and only rely on myself for support, yet i always tell others they can rely on me anytime they need to. but i am different these days since i found PC, i ask for help whenever i need it now which is definately good, and i am a stronger person for sure. but the reason it hurt me this time is because i had alot of feelings involved, i cared alot for julie, liked her alot. i thought she liked me back so i began to progress. if she had been cold with me from the start i wouldnt have carried on with her, but she didnt. thats what hurt. she just wanted attention and care that i was showing her, and as soon as it was my last day at work, she chucked me.

i think sometimes most people dont realise that other people hurt too. they just think its acceptable to rely on one person and only turn to them when needs be, not when they just felt like calling for a chat about anything. but when we make it clear that we dont want support, how do they know we need it, afterall, we need to show we need help in order to recieve it, right?

caring people such as ourselves are prone to be hurt in life, its part of the job description i think.i seriously dont think it will ever change me, as i will always be the same.

im sorry you had to deal with that phillygirl, that must have been so hard, the same goes to you sammi. i feel for you, i really do.

simon

[Boopers]

Oh Simon, it just isn't fair, is it? I, too, have been there. I was played for many years. Guess I was stupid or a slow learner. I did learn, however, and I finally cut this person out of my life for almost five years.
Well, this person realized what they were missing with me out of there life and this year, finally apologized for all those years. I accepted the apology but I will never trust this person again or let this person get close to my thoughts again, although they keep trying. So, what I am trying to say is, eventually, these people WILL realize what a true friend they had in you and they will be sorry.
Good luck to you and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Linda