I've been in a pretty bad bipolar depressive episode since August 4, 2013. Today I told my husband, whom I thought "understood" my depression, that I was feeling pretty low. (That's how I describe it when I'm having a particularly down day or period of time.)

He said to me, "Cheer up!" I know he meant well, but that fell short. I told him it wasn't that simple. Then he said, "Well, you'll be in my thoughts this afternoon." That at least comforted me a little.

What are some things that people say to you when you're depressed that lead you believe they've really never been there themselves?

Get over it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I get "cheer up" too.
Also:
"Is there anything I can do"
"Why not go for a walk"
"You should get some exercise"

These all tell me that you have absolutely no idea......

I think part of the problem is that 'sad' and 'depressed' are often used interchangeably by those who don't have clinical depression. So they don't know that there's a difference.
Even the words we use to rate our depression are also those we use in everyday conversation.

As I have said before, I will email my husband on bad days. It seems to have more of an impact that way. A simple "I'm not doing too well" is usually all it takes for him to understand.

Or how about this one: "Think positive."

not that simple!

[Viuam]

Wow where to start...

Get over it
Snap out of it
Everyone gets sad, stop making it about you
Depression is a problem made up by rich people
If you had no choice but to go out and work you wouldn't be depressed... Or you would be too busy to be depressed
Stop being lazy
Stop being weak
Start working out, that will make you feel better

I could go on and on...

[ImNotHere]

I always get the exercise thing too.

-Exercise more
-You need to get out more
-It's not that bad
-What do you have to be depressed about?
-It is only temporary
- People have it worse than you do
- You don't like the way you feel? so change it
-I understand (when you clearly do not)

One by my mother : what did I do wrong? How did I make you like this? yea ouch.

[emibeee]

Oh god here we go..

"Be positive"
"Just get over it"
"You're lazy"
"You're weak"
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself"
"Grow up"
"You have everything you want so stop" (yeah, no..)
"Oh, just be happy"
"Cheer up/lighten up"
"Some people have it worse than you"
"You need help" (FIND ME A FKIN COUNSELOR THEN..AND PAY FOR IT TOO.)
"Don't worry about it"
"That sucks"
"You are in complete control of your happiness" (really..)
"Stop it, you're only trying to get attention from people"
"You're only depressed because you're so negative about everything"
"Well, it's your own fault and self pity"
"I didn't raise you to be like this"

UGH.

[Pierro]

Aren't we all depressed. That drives me up the walls!

What's the least helpful thing to say to someone who's depressed?

I think introducing myself could be one of the worst things I could say.....
:/

[recentdiscovery]

Pretty much anything anyone says to try to convince me to feel other than I do pisses me off. All I need you to do is listen, I don't need input as to how to not feel the way i'm feeling because unless you're dealing with it you have no idea.

newgal2, to be honest I just think your husband was joking a little and didn't mean that at all in a serious sense. I've said things like that to ex's in the past who were dealing with things but I really was just joking, but they got a bit mad. I didn't understand the trigger until I was dealing with it myself. His second statement should get him some credit back

[happytulips]

Get off your pity potty.

Originally Posted by recentdiscovery

Pretty much anything anyone says to try to convince me to feel other than I do pisses me off. All I need you to do is listen, I don't need input as to how to not feel the way i'm feeling because unless you're dealing with it you have no idea.

newgal2, to be honest I just think your husband was joking a little and didn't mean that at all in a serious sense. I've said things like that to ex's in the past who were dealing with things but I really was just joking, but they got a bit mad. I didn't understand the trigger until I was dealing with it myself. His second statement should get him some credit back

You're right. I think he meant well. He's never said, "Cheer up" to me before, and he says he "gets" what I'm experiencing, so it just surprised me.

[mulan]

"Don't think about it"...and all those activities sugestions: walk, exercise, going out, going to a party...

Originally Posted by Viuam

Wow where to start...

Get over it
Snap out of it
Everyone gets sad, stop making it about you
Depression is a problem made up by rich people
If you had no choice but to go out and work you wouldn't be depressed... Or you would be too busy to be depressed
Stop being lazy
Stop being weak
Start working out, that will make you feel better

I could go on and on...

Oh.. I forgot "snap out of it"

[Altered Moment]

All of the above and
Suck it up
Pull yourself up by your boot straps. (Kind of an old one)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Clara22]

Sometimes, i don't like anything of what people tell me about my depression even if they are saying what the experts advise. That is why i do not want to talk to people about my depression. I do not like their advice. I tend to accept peer advice better ( peer i meant people with depression)

[Curupira]

"you just need to look at it differently"
"you have just had a bit of rough time latetly"

When I share resources to help them understand

"why are you sharing this, do you want be like this"

"just try to be happy"

[Curupira]

Originally Posted by Clara22

Sometimes, i don't like anything of what people tell me about my depression even if they are saying what the experts advise. That is why i do not want to talk to people about my depression. I do not like their advice. I tend to accept peer advice better ( peer i meant people with depression)

I am the same way. I have a very small group of people I trust and other than that, I consider my issues my buisness.

[tealBumblebee]

"What do you have to be depressed about?"
^ That pisses me off but I don't get it often.

Most often I get this, and it just drives me further into isolation:
"YOU?!! Depressed? But you're always so happy! I can't see you as ever being depressed."
...it just feels very invalidating.

"You are so lucky to have _______" - since most of my depression comes from guilt over how I still suck with all the stuff I have.

"Maybe if you just tried harder" - pfft. Like I haven't been trying hard enough?

"You just have to stop letting feeling sad stop you from doing things"

[Pikku Myy]

Its in your mind

[Fuzzybear]

I typed it out, but don't want to perpetuate the lie

Sending hugs

[fraiser]

I don't like it when people use the word depressed when their bored, or have cabin fever, or lazy. They say...I'm so depressed. I am offended at the minimization of the true meaning of depression. Depression is a miserable, miserable, illness. They have no right to use that term.

Suggesting god or religion will help.

Originally Posted by fraiser

I don't like it when people use the word depressed when their bored, or have cabin fever, or lazy. They say...I'm so depressed. I am offended at the minimization of the true meaning of depression. Depression is a miserable, miserable, illness. They have no right to use that term.

fraiser, I agree completely.