[Curupira]

I had to ask for help today. I have been so sick the last couple of days that I have had a hard time taking care of mine and my daughter's basic needs. My husband is in classes right now so he hasn't been able to help. I asked him to take my daughter to a friends house so I can just be sick for a bit.

I feel so guilty asking for this help, the depression makes it hard enough to function and now I can't even handle the bare minimum.

To make things worse I have felt so disconnected from my husband these last few days. I can feel the frustration rolling off of him. This morning he told me he is frustraded that having to take care of me might jeopardize his place in the course he is taking. He says he is not mad at me but I am having a hard time seeing the difference. I am trying to not ask for help, I am trying to be as little of a burden as possible but I just can't appear to manage it.

Somehow I always manage to impose on the ones around me. To top it all off my small person had a melt down leaving this morning so hello mommy guilt.

Sorry, about the whinyess and thanks for reading, I just feel completely useless and a waste of space today.

one of my shrinks once had my wife talk to me about something that was a bit sensitive.... she teared up a bit which got me very emotional.

So my shrink stopped and commented - that when my wife was "vulnerable" did I view her as more lovable? The answer was clearly yes. How could anyone not care more......

Point being - you are okay to ask for help. People LIKE helping others.

[Curupira]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

one of my shrinks once had my wife talk to me about something that was a bit sensitive.... she teared up a bit which got me very emotional.

So my shrink stopped and commented - that when my wife was "vulnerable" did I view her as more lovable? The answer was clearly yes. How could anyone not care more......

Point being - you are okay to ask for help. People LIKE helping others.

Thanks, we just had a bad fight about it. Voices raised, me crying it was bad. We have been patching things up via text right now but I am still fighting a losing battle withe depression voices in my head. The ones that say, I am too much, I am a burden, I make everyone miserable.

[gayleggg]

Sounds like it might be time to call your doctor. Your depression seems quite deep. I think you need more help than you can give yourself. Reach out for help. If you have a therapist call and make an appointment. You need help pulling yourself out of this.

[Curupira]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Sounds like it might be time to call your doctor. Your depression seems quite deep. I think you need more help than you can give yourself. Reach out for help. If you have a therapist call and make an appointment. You need help pulling yourself out of this.

I agree, once I am able to get out of bed I will make that call.

BIG TMI WARNING

I haven't been able to keep anything down for a few days including my meds so I am hoping that will change soon.

Hang on, Curupira....

I also feel like a burden, but my husband seems to (as I have said ad nauseum) take what I say much more seriously via text or email....

I can't imagine how difficult it is with children to take care of too.

If your body isn't keeping your meds down, aren't you experiencing withdrawal? Just a guess, I don't know what you take or if it would apply.

Make that call....get those meds to stay in your system.....hopefully you can get seen today if not try some otc anti nausea stuff maybe.

[fraiser]

Battle those thoughts with good ones. You are doing something right to have a marriage and a healthy child. Don't believe what this disease tells you. Write down whats good about you and keep reading it. Write down what your grateful for and keep reading it. Fight those depressive thoughts.

[paynful]

Asking for help is THE HARDEST thing for me to do. I understand why it feels like defeat. You feel like you should be able to solve your own problems. That you should be strong enough to deal with the pain... to see past it.

It's just not that simple. Not when you are depressed, and especially, not when you are sick on top of it all. You can't think straight. Everything goes out of focus.

The fact that you knew you needed to ask for help is AMAZING. The fact that you had to strength to be vulnerable is AWE INSPIRING.

As far as TMI goes... proceed reading with caution.

If you haven't been able to keep anything down for days, it is a downward spiral. Fluids and your meds are most important. Being dehydrated, having your chemical levels crash and being malnutrishoned is dangerous. If it goes on for more than 10 days, you need to go to the doctors.

I had a Rx for anti-nausea that helps me keep things down (I get migraines several times a week). If that isn't accessible to you, try Pepto to coat your stomache. Then, try Tea with honey or sugar. Dry toast or Saltine crackers. Something dry and easy to go down... or that will easily come back up. I can't imagine how torn up your throat must feel. Gargling or sucking on ice helps, just to keep your mouth/throat moist. Also, if you are throwing up, but have nothing in your stomach... the acid/bile coming up could be causing more damage than you realize.

**TMI: When I'm in this situation, I chug room temp water right before I feel like I am about to retch. That way I don't spend hours dry heaving and bring up bile that burns my throat and mouth. Sorry for the gory details.**

I hope you feel better on all levels. Hang in there, and be kind to yourself. Don't kick yourself when you are already down. There are enough forces in this world that will do that for you. So give yourself a break to breathe. You can feel guilty later when you are up to it.