[Akua]

I am with no motivation to do anything. I question my reason for living everyday. I have nothing to live for, no one depends on me and jobless. I refuse to talk to anyone for fear of being just hopeless to all. I have been in this state for at least a couple of years and it doesn't get better with exercise. I can only hope that this forum will help.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Akua.

Originally Posted by Akua

I have been in this state for at least a couple of years...

That's a long time to go without any help.

Originally Posted by Akua

I refuse to talk to anyone for fear of being just hopeless to all.

Is it an anticipation of rejection or do you also have trouble communicating (another possible symptom)?

Please look around and make yourself at home.

[smmath]

Do you have any friends or family that you would be willing to talk to?

We're here to listen whenever you need it! And actually, you depend on you. Please be gentle with yourself.

Best of luck and keep us updated!

[CharleyBrown]

Sometimes I feel quietly depressed too. It's not a fun place to be. A lot of times writing it all out helps me feel better. Other days I just try to focus on saying good things to myself, which is not something I'm great at. I usually start with the fact that it's really, really hard to deal with depression, but I am dealing with it so I am strong for that. Reading the posts on here helps too.

I hope things start to get better soon.

[Akua]

I do agree that I am horrible in communicating, that is probably what makes it harder to get my problem(s) out in the open. I have family and friends that just don't understand...they all have their own problems. I have tried to reach out for help from them and they tell me things I don't want to hear or doesn't help then I drop it because I feel ashamed to be in such a state. I do think my biggest fault is being stubborn, which brings me to feeling stupid and hopeless and just goes downhill from there. I just don't know what to do...

[live2ski66]

I say that I have "a therapist on retainer". In my many years of learning to coexist with clinical depression I've encountered many nice people who tell me I don't need a therapist, that they will listen to me. I politely decline. If I try to talk to a family member or friend I know that I will feel guilty for taking their time and I won't be comfortable talking about everything. With a therapist, I am paying them to listen to me for an hour and ii can talk about anything including the therapist. Some might suggest talking to a church leader or a rabbi. I'm far from religious and would never feel comfortable, but if you are religious, this may be another option. The key right now for you is to start expressing your feelings, in writing, through art, or verbally.
Good luck!

[Fuzzybear]

[CharleyBrown]

Oh yeah, I know exactly how that goes. I tired talking to family members and friends too, but in some ways they just can't understand the depths of how you feel. I would usually end up feeling frustrated at best. I still try to talk to keep them posted, and they try their best. Talking to a therapist has helped me the most. I'm not sure anyone can really understand unless they have experienced it., which is why I like this site. It helps to know there are other people who feel the same way. Did you read the thread about the worst thing to say to people who are depressed? It actually made me laugh for the first time in a long time.

Take care of yourself.