Do you feel like you on a teeter toter??

I sincerely do not even know HOW I feel right now. A part of me feels fine, and a part of me is just waiting for my world to collapse. Like I should be feeling suicidal, but I really do not. Yet at the same time my gut wants to FLEE. To fly down the highway and crash into a wall or something.

life sucks.

and I am just waiting to see which way the teeter toter tips.

[Frankbtl]

Hi, now lets say that part of you that feels fine IS how you're feeling really deep down. The rest you're kind of all too familiar with, so it might be harder for them to vanish, let's say lurking in the background/hard to forget them?? But perhaps if you let yourself (I know really hard, but.......) follow that part of you that's deep down.
You DO deserve to feel that way, you DO deserve to feel fine. Maybe try to "nourish" that a little, it's there, it's got to mean something!!
And I'd say you've got more control than you give yourself credit for in holding the balance, let that strength/control push a little more in your favor now if you can, and nudge that teeter totter the way YOU want it to be going, the way it DESERVES to go!!
Alison

[Curupira]

I hate that feeling. That sense of anticipation to see where this rollercoaster will take me next. Up, down, good bad... it sucks.

I wish I could be of more assitance, the best I can do is commiserate.

screw it......... i just went and cut. At least now I feel something

[Curupira]

I am so sorry.

[Frankbtl]

Hi, I know you tried really hard, inside yourself, to find something else. You haven't failed, sometimes you can only cope with so much. Here if/whenever you want to talk........
And more hugs!!
Alison

I know how you feel....I know that I tend to be a little bit of a Pollyanna sometimes....but
I was abused as a child....I felt pain
Anti-depressants sometimes make me feel nothing and I desperately want to feel something. That need to feel something becomes the focus....the fix if you will.

I slip sometimes. Sadly (and embarrassingly) I will come to this forum, not for a fix, but to find another focus....I occasionally will scream for help, (I don't do a very good job of it) but I will mostly see if there is anyone to speak a kind word to.....

This is all very bad of me to confess, and I will most likely delete this.

But I see myself in you a lot, and I want you to know, even though I don't cut...I do scream.
I can commiserate.

Take care, ComfortingSoul

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

I know how you feel....I know that I tend to be a little bit of a Pollyanna sometimes....but
I was abused as a child....I felt pain
Anti-depressants sometimes make me feel nothing and I desperately want to feel something. That need to feel something becomes the focus....the fix if you will.

I slip sometimes. Sadly (and embarrassingly) I will come to this forum, not for a fix, but to find another focus....I occasionally will scream for help, (I don't do a very good job of it) but I will mostly see if there is anyone to speak a kind word to.....

This is all very bad of me to confess, and I will most likely delete this.

But I see myself in you a lot, and I want you to know, even though I don't cut...I do scream.
I can commiserate.

Take care, ComfortingSoul

:P

Now you can not delete it........ (I am such a smartass)

THANKS for your comments.