[GenCat]

I feel like death, I think about death, I want death to come to me. No matter who I reach out to, who i talk to it never seems to help the problem. My problem is deeper, more painful than you could ever imagine. I fight everyday and its still not enough. I do not care about anything nor do I wish to care. I seem stuck in quick sand and keep sinking and sinking. I yell for help but no one comes.

[regretful]

Depression is a horrible, horrible disease. I can empathize with your pain, having recently been in the hospital for feeling suicidal, and not feeling much better at all since my release. My life was going on well only six month ago, but I am deeply depressed. I describe it as feeling as if I have one foot nailed to the floor. People on these forums care, even if we are relatively anonymous...

[paynful]

I wish I had something helpful or productive to add, but I really don't. Not today, anyways. I can just relate to your plight. It's always when we need it the most, when we are at our most desperate that people desert or abandon us... at least, in my experience.

Yes, I get it. No one can make me feel a certain way unless I let them. My happiness, or lack there of, is my responsibility, and no one can fix me but me.

But.. F**K! I would if I could!! I'm lost in the darkness, and can't see my way out... I keep bumping into things... they break and I bruise... and I STILL can't find the light switch or the door... you would think someone would point a flashlight in the right direction, at least.

[20broken17]

I know what you mean, but like they said we care on here. Depression is horrible and it makes life horrible and most people don't understand, but we do or at least we try. I hate the feeling where you just feel like disappearing for a while, but sometimes all you can do it hold on a little longer.

[mobjack]

I feel your pain. For you are not alone. I am living in my own private hell as well. I know where you are at cause I'm in the same place. I don't know how to help myself either and talking to others does not help either. I know this is not an encouraging response but I thought I would let you know that you are not alone. We are all in this together.

[Alone & confused]

I get like this A LOT!!! I have to Remind myself that THIS IS NOT ME! It's the depression. This is what DEPRESSION thinks & what it feels. And sooner or later it will pass & I'LL be in control again. I think of it like it's a flu or other physical illness, that all I have to do is just hold on & wait til it's over. Sometimes I even get Mad at it & fight with it like it was my ex husband! Whatever you do just Don't let it beat you!!

[Idiot17]

you're not alone with the feeling.
(((((gencat))))))

[LadyShadow]

Just remember you're not alone, we are all here for you

I feel the same way. I guess no one can "save me", but I can't even care any more. The people here are supportive, and it helps to talk here, but in the end we're all left to ourselves. It is one hell of a fight. I'm sorry you're feeling this bad. No matter how many times I tell T or my H, it's same old, same old....

I wish I could help. Then maybe I could help myself too. Constant re-occuring bipolar depression for me. The good never lasts that long and its not worth the bad times. I've been screaming for help for months but no one can help me. I just dont understand why they make us suffer and not let us go. But instead we have to suffer on and on. I feel for everyone suffering.

[invisiblegrl]

Originally Posted by GenCat

I feel like death, I think about death, I want death to come to me. No matter who I reach out to, who i talk to it never seems to help the problem. My problem is deeper, more painful than you could ever imagine. I fight everyday and its still not enough. I do not care about anything nor do I wish to care. I seem stuck in quick sand and keep sinking and sinking. I yell for help but no one comes.

I feel the same way. This passed year, I haven't even tried to not feel depressed anymore. I can spend several days just lying in my room listening to audiobooks and playing on my iPhone. I can't fight it anymore. I have no answers, no one else seems too, so I'm just gonna stand still until a miracle or I die, whichever happens first. I keep telling God, I'd prefer the miracle though.