[donna450]

I slept from 4:30p until1:00 am and it's now 6:30am. I've been up since 1am and have been awake reading my phone stuff (apps) I came across somethinf on twitter that gave me pause. "It's not what you see but how you see it". My assumption is that it meant attitude. Somewhere deep inside for the last 4 months I have been depressed and getting worse. But that statement made me think. Stop seeing or feeling a depressed person which is like a domino effect but see it a different way...attitude!! I've decided today that I am not going to be depressed. That I've lingered in pity and self-doubt long enough. I'm going to take a shower ( very hard to manage ) and dressed and to the grocery and keep myself in a good mood. Maybe I can break the sad chain I've been hooked to. I'll let you know how it goes.

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Reminds me of a quote from Uncle Iroh from Avatar. "You will find that if you look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see."

Best of luck The most important part is to change your thoughts. Turning them away from negativity really does wonders

[donna450]

Thanks...besides a migraine I am doing better than yesterday.

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[donna450]

Got thru yesterday except awake for 21 hrs. Slept til 4am then up. So sleeping is still a problem.

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[paynful]

I'm having some sleeping issues, too. I'm trying to get lost in books so I don't get lost in my head... it's not a fun place to be right now. I hope your migraine gets better!

[donna450]

Thanks paynful. I get chronic headaches although painful I get several a day..I've put up with them for 40+years. No one seems to know why..just take meds for it and psych drugs. I get lost in my head. That's where my depression comes from...but I've been able to stave it off for 2 days now. But I'm not sure my sleeping problem arises bc of depression. No matter what time I go to bed I'm up at 4am. I usually get up to go to bathroom...then my brain is all over the place and can't return to sleep. Manic? Hypomanic? Not sure. But it does seem odd that 4am is like a cutoff time for me. I read books tii. Matter of fact ive written my first and entered into a contest..and have started the 2nd. I write historical romance. Will find out about contest winners in July. Hope you're doing better. It's a roller coaster ride to be sure..but try to keep a positive outlook. I was able to bring myself out of depression bc of that statement. New attitude and perception of myself and situation. Hope you can too. ♥♥♥♥

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[Altered Moment]

I have been having alot of sleeping issues too. They are slowly getting better. I sleep for three hours and wake up every two thereafter. And I mean to the minute. It is hard to get back to sleep. I dunno if it is the depression or the meds.

[regretful]

Zinco...I'm having the same sleeping problems and wonder if it is the meds too as I am on generic effexor...but the depression keeps me awake too...so I'm not too sure, other than it's probably a combination of the two. Depression is horrible. It's my third bout with it and fifth medication...

[Altered Moment]

I think it is the effexor. I recently upped the dose. I have taken effexor the most often in the past and it has always caused this. Depression seems to make me stay awake until late at night and sleep during the day.

[donna450]

I find when I feel depressed I get more depressed. But getting up at 4am I can get alot accomplished before hubby gets up. During the day when depressed I want everyone just to leave me alone. So in the daytime I hide bc too many things going on. Getting up at 4am I'm alone and don't have to interact with anyone. Does that make sense??

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[paynful]

Originally Posted by donna450

I find when I feel depressed I get more depressed. But getting up at 4am I can get alot accomplished before hubby gets up. During the day when depressed I want everyone just to leave me alone. So in the daytime I hide bc too many things going on. Getting up at 4am I'm alone and don't have to interact with anyone. Does that make sense??

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I don't know if it makes sense , but I'm the same way.

My stress builds and builds during the day. I feel like I should be accomplishing things, but my depression holds me captive. As an added bonus, no one else sees my depression. People tend to just think I'm lazy or something. It makes me feel guilty, ashamed and stressed out that I'm not getting stuff done during the day.

At night, there's no pressure (or at least, a lot less). Everyone else is asleep and has no expectations of me accomplishing much.

It might not be rational or logical, but it makes sense to me.

[donna450]

Sounds about right

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