[Anony]

No one should have to live like this. I don't care who the person is, I wouldn't wish my life on a hardcore criminal. I was actually doing ok for the last two days or so, but today I took a big dive. I woke up not feeling as good as the other days, plus I have a million things on my mind and worse yet, my family had the fight of a lifetime tonight. I honestly thought everyone was going to have a heart attack; their faces were purple, everyone was screaming louder than you could ever imagine, things were flying. Everyone said a lot of things I know they'll regret ever saying and it broke my heart to hear them say it. I don't care what happens to me, I never have, but when I see one of my family members hurt, it kills me. Of course it had to be me to step in between them and push everyone apart and calm them down, otherwise they probably would have ended up killing each other (literally). I haven't cried in over 2 months, but just the situation of everything tonight brought me to my knees and I cried a river. Just the thought of Christmas coming up in a couple of days and my sister leaving on the 26th, I didn't want everyone to be in bad terms, at least for now. One of my earliest memories was of my parents fighting and throwing my backpack across the room and breaking a ruler I had in it. I was crying hysterically the whole time and I ended up throwing up on their bedroom floor. I can honestly say that in my whole life, I only remember one day where everyone got along for the entire day. It was two years ago when we spent an entire day at the ocean. I'll remember that day for as long as I live because it's so special and rare. When I was still in elementary school I remember them talking about getting divorced and I was crushed. Later on, my sister and I actually encouraged it; it's obviously bad to stay in an environment such as this one. I feel like I'm a bad person for encouraging this action. My dream is to wake up one day and hear a pleasant conversation being spoken, but I know it is impossible and if it hasn't happened in the last 20 years, I know it's not going to ever happen. Is it so wrong that I wish my parents would get a divorce? I feel very trapped and suffocated right now and would really like some input. I'm sorry I have rambled on for so long. It seems like whenever I post a message, all I ever do is complain. Sorry!

[StargazerLily]

I'm so sorry for you're situation. Is ther anywhere else you could be away from that?

No need to apologize for speaking your mind. It's what the site is for. I've felt better, just getting the thoughts out of my mind, even if someone doesn't reply.

I think I can relate to where you're at right now. I know my parents fight a lot. Not so much so now that my dad is deployed. Being an army guy, my dad had a really bad temper, and he'd get into the yelling, screaming, throwing stuff kind of moods too. I can't tell you how much stuff he's thrown through walls at this house. And we've had the issue of divorce come up before, too. When I was younger it was scary cause I'd think, who would I go with and where, what would we do. But then as I grew up I was hoping more and more it would happen. I know now its too late in the game for them to divorce, but at least I have the chance to get out and get myself into a better place.

Wish you the best, dunno if I helped any. Just know you're not alone.

~lil

[(JD)]

While I'm glad to hear you were finally able to release some pent up feelings and might feel a little better after a bit for the crying, I'm sorry to hear the details of the situation.

Some adults never grow up. Some never learn how to communicate without acting out.

You are obviously old enough to decide whether you can continue to be in this situation or not? If you can't take it anymore (and I don't think you should) why not walk away and limit your time there?

Don't take responsibility for their poor actions. Don't step in and "rescue" them... I doubt they need it. They haven't only fought when you are around to break it up Maybe by having an audience they fight worse? IDK.

Work to make your own personal life a better one than theirs. That's in your own best self interest TC!

i grew up in a family where my parents fought endlessly. they would even say, "i'd divorce you if it wasn't for Pat".......i would wake up to that in the mornings before i went to school. i always wanted to move out and live with my sister but had to stay there. i graduated from highschool at 16 and LEFT.....and i vowed, when i married, to never fight in front of my children (in the way they did) and i didn't.....

it's not wrong to wish they would divorce and i certainly understand your wishing you could hear a normal conversation on a daily basis.

have you ever talked to each parent privately and related how you feel? and are you able to move out? i don't remember how old you are....i know that with your sister leaving, you are feeling more isolated. try to find something to do to fill your time during the worst of the transition....volunteer, read at the library..anything to get your mind off things......good luck, love, pat

[depressedgirl]

I know how you feel.All my parents ever do is fight and the other day,my dad stepped in front of my mom in the doorway,and blocked her from leaving the room.When she tried to get past him,he hit her.I couldn't take it anymore,so I pushed my dad out of the doorway and cussed at him for doing that to my mom.He just threw a book at my mom and went to his room to drink a beer.Im so sorry for making this about me.Its not wrong to want ur parents to divorce.You are in alot of pain right now and I know how you feel about you're family yelling and fighting all the time.If tyou need to,you can PM me anytime.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Anony )))))))))))))