[sup_sarah]

so i finally got it out to my mom that I'm like really depressed but my moms completely insane. She actually started screaming at me and telling me she cant take my ******** and she wants to just throw me through the wall right now. I told her I'd see a therapist but I know she wouldn't pay for it and then she went on saying that if I was going to get help that she'd put me in a facility 24/7 because going to a therapist would be doing it half-assed. Whats ironic about it is that she broke down to me and my brother about a year ago and told us how depressed she is and that she was on medications now and stuff. Yeah, apparently those didnt last long. I don't know what to do, I'm on like the breaking point, I've been suicidal once before and I don't want to go back down that road but I'm slowly heading that way. Of course you know to make matters worse my boyfriend just left me, possibly the worst timing ever. I can't talk to my mom, this person is completely unreasonable and insane. Like I know a lot of people say somebodys crazy but my mom seriously has something wrong with her and I just wish she could see that and how she's hurting everybody she loves. I'm only 16 so I don't really have the option of hiring my own therapist. Anybody have any ideas?

[(JD)]

Sure do! There will be plenty of options forthcoming from members here at PC!

I'm sorry that your mom isn't "there" to support you, and is having difficulty herself. Perhaps once she is over her crisis drama, she will take time to think about some good solutions for you and the family? IDK maybe you could suggest family therapy (that way you all get to share, but also get individual attention if you need it )

Are you in school? Is there a counselor or school psychologist you can make an appointment to see? Even if you don't wish to discuss your personal issues with her/him they have great resources and would be a good one to ask, "What can I do I'm only 16?"

Do what you can for yourself in the way of good self care... even though you probably don't feel like it. Get a lot of sleep. Eat enough and eat foods that are good for you too. Don't isolate yourself in your room, but go out, take a walk, call a friend.

Yes, it could be tough doing this and handling the bf breakup...but it could be a good thing in the long run... guys aren't always the most understanding of family issues imo... and add alot of stress at times ((((hugs)))

[bipolar_bear]

I am so sorry you are hurting so much. Is there a counselor at your school?

[sup_sarah]

my school counselour is a joke, i've tried talking to her and she doesnt help at all.

my family consists of me and my mom now, my brother moved to Florida.

my mom isnt just going through a phase tho, this is how she always is. She makes me feel like I'm the lowest piece of %#@&#! to walk the earth, even when I'm crying my eyes out and begging for help from her. I have to find another way to get through to her because I can't talk to her.

Sorry for shooting down most of your ideas :/

Thank you for caring though.

i'm sorry that your mom is being so unreasonable towards you right now. that must really hurt you a lot. you can always post here and we will listen and try to help. you are welcome to PM me at anytime if you think you'd like to talk.

seek online help. google depression treatment resistant parents, an example, and you just might be lucky enough to find some good stuff on how to handle her. i'm sorry that your school counselor isn't giong to be of help. is there a teacher that you trust enough to talk to?

if you're into sports, do you have a coach that might help?

please keep me updated on how you are doing. i care. xoxox pat

[sup_sarah]

I just feel so trapped and insanely depressed. Like it's taking everything in me right now to not just go get a knife. I feel like I sound so damn pathetic too. I think I'm gonna stay on this site for awhile tonight, I'm pretty much on the verge of doing something terrible.

I'm trying so hard right now to pretend to not be crying because I know if she came in here and saw me crying I'd be getting screamed at. I'm in a %#@&#! crazy house and there's nothing I can do about it.

i understand. i'm really sorry that you can't cry safely, without being screamed at. sometimes it's very calming to have a good cry.

i wish that you could see someone IRL and talk to them. do you have the resources to pay to see a therapist? is your dad in the picture at all?

keep posting.....i may go to bed later, but someone will be here.......xoxoxo pat

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things get better for you soon. I really feel that you should talk to the school counselor, and can you tell your father or another family member that may be able to get you the help you need at this time. I amgoing to leve you a hotline number to call if you need to talk to someone in person if you would just like to talk to someone about your problems and feelings 1-9800-273-TALK and1-800-422-HOPE for youth 1-800-448-3000(boys and girls hotline)
call some of these numbers when you do not feel well or if you are depressed, you do not have to feel alone. I hope the best for you take care Sincerely soidhonia

[pamelasu]

I am sorry you are feeling so depressed. I know it's not easy and I hope that things get better for you soon. You might want to see about going to the deprartment of family services to see if they could get you into a therapist right away. Sometimes there are ways to getting around situations like this. You just have to know the resources are out there. Hey they will probably even help you pay for it because you are a minor. That would be something to think about. I hope that you get some help soon! Hang in there!!

[kvinneakt]

I have to comment before even going over any replies!

YOU sound like you have a great ability of insight! You are years ahead of me at 16. Maybe decades. A therapist will have a short, but rewarding time with you!

Your mom, on the other hand, has nearly no insight and worse, no compassion!

That said, give her a break. She is probably doing the best she can with what she has. It may not be much, but she may not be able to do better. Try to just let her have her say and then seek and consider more well thought out and compassionate ideas for your moving on yourself.

Now, to get some treatment for yourself you might have to think outside the box a bit. The resources are out there and do not require parental involvement.

Do you have medical insurance? Call them up and ask about their mental resources.

Is there a 211 social service hot line number in your community? If not, there is most likely some point of reference. You can even call the suicide hotline for help. They don't require you be poised with hemlock at your lips before you call.

Is there any teacher past or present that you felt you connected with? She/he may be more than happy to be of assistance.

Possibly a church official might help. Be careful there. They usually have "agendas" in my experience.

A runaway or homeless youth center might be of help. Their interests often extend to prevention of your becoming a runaway or homeless person, and can steer you to needed services.

Hang in there!

locate the nearest planned parenthood agency or crisis center being that you are 16 they do not have to report to your parents that they are seeing you for therapy purposes. Here in the USA a 16 year old is able to enter any and all free service agencys and recieve therapy and help without their parents knowledge. ( I found this out when I was helping a 16 year old out of an abusive situation and into therapy )

[breemarie]

I'm sorry you are going through so much pain right now. I had to reply because I went through a similar situation when I was growing up with my Mom. I am in my 40's now. My mom seemed to hate me most of my teen years for some reason. Actually she didn't start to show her love for me until I moved away, then she couldn't hear from me or see me enough. She was mentally ill and I now realize that and I realize there was nothing I did wrong. So I'm saying to you that you are not doing anything wrong. Your mom is ill just like you said. I was suicidal through my teen years and therapy helped me not to do it. There are clinics that do not charge you if you can't afford to pay. Hospitals have them, or local mental health agencies. Look on the internet for mental health services in your area and make calls until you find someone who will help you. Talking to someone will help. Don't try to reason with your Mom or argue with her because she is not rational and it will do no good. Just avoid her if you can. If she starts to argue just let her and don't say anything back. It's hard and I know it is but you can get through this because I did. Do you have family or friends that you can visit sometimes? Try to reach out to others so that you don't feel so alone. I am praying for you.
Also, I want to recommend 2 books for you to read. "When you and your mother can't be friends", by Victoria Secunda and "Toxic Parents", by Susan Forward. Those are very good books that I have read. Make sure you keep them somewhere where she won't see them, you don't need that. My Mom is gone now and like I said she always wanted me around once I moved and wasn't around anymore. I don't know why Parents act the way they do, some parents don't know how to show love or compassion. Some parents are too needy themselves. I finally after I was older just accepted that she was ill and I tried to have a better relationship with her. It still was difficult and I never forgot those painful years. Reading your post made me sad and made me remember those times but having been there myself I know you can get through it. So hang in there and look for help and reach out to others.

BreeMarie