[Whoaminoone]

It's been a rough week for me. I don't talk to many people, but there are a select few I text with on occasion. This past week, not one, but TWO, left me feeling embarrassed and rejected. The first was a female I've known for several years and considered as close to a 'friend' as I've ever known. We were texting fairly regularly, and I was going by her house to visit fairly regularly also. I noted she basically just quit texting without explanation. Then, I noted when I'd text about visiting she'd have plans. Finally, she text stating she just didn't want to be friends with me any longer. She went on to say she never really liked me, but felt sorry for me, and I was just a constant drain on her energy. I text back that I appreciated her honesty and was sorry I made her feel that way. There's been no communication since. The other was a male who I've also known for several years. We've been texting regularly, but I haven't seen him in person for awhile. I text during down times in my day, and asked at one point if I was being a bother or interrupting his work day. He said he liked receiving my text and it was no bother. I continued texting. This evening he texts me saying my texting him all day really kind of pissed him off because he does have a job he's expected to do and he can't get it done when I'm blowing up his phone. Even though I'm in a different state, I feel so embarrassed and just want to hide and cry. His reaction was a complete contradiction to his earlier text! I don't think I'll talk to him anymore because now I just feel too self conscious about it.
I've never been good at making 'friends'. Somehow, I always seem to say or do the wrong things. I'm so socially awkward and our of place!
Two people who've never met reject me in the same week. Sure leaves me feeling pretty crappy about myself. I just want to hide in my house and avoid everyone now.

[smmath]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I hate it when people make me feel like... especially when they go back on what they say. But I hope you know that people here aren't going to reject you and we really care about you.

Sorry, no real advice, but I do know how that can feel. I went through something similar with someone a few weeks ago and it really upset me. Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

[Whoaminoone]

Thanks Smmath. I'm sure, in time, it won't feel so harsh. Right now though it's hard to not feel stupid for not realizing what a burdensome pest I was being.

[smmath]

Yeah, I can understand that. Do you feel at all angry at your guy friend?

[Whoaminoone]

Yes,smmath. I don't understand why he said it was no bother earlier in the day while he was actually at work, but than waited until he was home to contradict himself. It wasn't even like I was continuously texting him without response- he responded to each text! It would have been no problem to just say he couldn't talk right now. So, again, yes, I am a bit angry that he waited and than said it like he wasn't participating in the texting the entire time.

I am kind of worried that this type of thing will happen between me and a friend of mine. I've been sending her facebook messages and email messages at work quite frequently lately. I asked her if she minded and she said she likes the distraction at work. With my frequency of contacting her (which I "can't" help, with so little to do), I feel like I may be close to burning that bridge. I don't want that to happen because she's been a great source of comfort for me. She seems to not want to respond after work and largely on the weekends. Maybe it's just that she prefers the distraction at work.

I'm sorry you had to experience this with two friends. I know how important it is to feel like you have an ally IRL.

[littlemiss44]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's hard as it is to make friends and when you lose them it stings. That's why I only have like 4 friends. I don't trust people with my heart cause I'm afraid of rejection...I'm afraid they won't really be a good friend. Does that sound weird? It's like everyone out there is too busy to be a good friend or they don't want to deal with me. I've lost friends through the years because of my illness. I lost my best friend from high school. She just slowly pulled away from me. It still hurts.

Hang in there. We care about you here at pc. You are worth it! I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom but I do care. When you feel like talking come on here and we'll chat with you. Take care

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Your experience is all too familiar to me. People who never feel the way we do will never fully understand, even when they say they do. The friendship is over & I know it hurts now but maybe she did you a favor. You deserve a true friend who respects & cares about you. It's good he was honest with you; when he said he didn't mind his mistake was not being more specific. I know it's embarassing & like you mentioned he takes some fault since he should've mentioned it earlier. You know for next time, if you choose to still talk to him, to just message less often.

[waterknob1234]

I am so sorry for what you have been through. People can be so hurtful. I have been there and rejection hurts you to the core of your soul. Then it makes it hard to trust people. I hope and pray you meet some good friends who will love and care for you just as you are. I know they are out there.

[Idiot17]

I can definitely relate.....
((((hugs))))

Originally Posted by waterknob1234

I am so sorry for what you have been through. People can be so hurtful. I have been there and rejection hurts you to the core of your soul. Then it makes it hard to trust people. I hope and pray you meet some good friends who will love and care for you just as you are. I know they are out there.

Yes, these were the right words. Thanks for posting this. You not only helped op, but myself & I'm sure many others.

[Viuam]

I know how that is. I have one friend who lives really far away so for now we just Skype. I can't talk to him about the really dark parts of my life right now, even though we've been friends for years. I'm afraid if scaring him off with my negativity. The other friends I have don't contact me much anymore. They've become one sided friendships really. In person, there's no one at the moment. You lose the ability to function socially as you become more and more withdrawn. It's certainly not like riding a bike. I wish it could be like that. I've been trying to type up some ideas to help you through, but they all sound preachy and stupid coming from me. Let me know if you want any ideas though. Big hugs from me at least.

[Whoaminoone]

Thanks everyone. It does make me feel a bit better to know I'm not the only one who's experienced this.
Viuam, any advice you have is welcome. As well as advice from anyone else.

[Paige74]

I'm sorry for your negative experiences today. I just turned 40, and it seems like it was so easy to make and keep friends when we were young. But as we get older, people are married and have children and ALSO we ALL have so many issues as life goes on. We are all scared to get hurt, as we've been hurt by so many people by this point in life.
So I don't know what the solution is. I wish I did.

[Viuam]

Originally Posted by Whoaminoone

Thanks everyone. It does make me feel a bit better to know I'm not the only one who's experienced this.
Viuam, any advice you have is welcome. As well as advice from anyone else.

Hey! Well, i was thinking about how bad your social anxiety may be. If you can handle social situaciones decently, maybe you could expand with the people you speak to? Sorry for prying, but how often did you call or text these people during the day? Maybe if you spoke to more people, even if it's online or just a text, maybe it will help you to not focus too much on a few people? I actually received a text from a friend, not a real friend honestly but someone who occasionally pops up to say hi. For a while it was really nice to speak to someone else for a bit. Not even about my own problems. I'm going to text back in about a week to keep a conversation up periodically. What do you think? Could spreading out a bit help you?

Originally Posted by Whoaminoone

Thanks everyone. It does make me feel a bit better to know I'm not the only one who's experienced this.
Viuam, any advice you have is welcome. As well as advice from anyone else.

For you:

[Avatar10]

Originally Posted by Whoaminoone

It's been a rough week for me. I don't talk to many people, but there are a select few I text with on occasion. This past week, not one, but TWO, left me feeling embarrassed and rejected. The first was a female I've known for several years and considered as close to a 'friend' as I've ever known. We were texting fairly regularly, and I was going by her house to visit fairly regularly also. I noted she basically just quit texting without explanation. Then, I noted when I'd text about visiting she'd have plans. Finally, she text stating she just didn't want to be friends with me any longer. She went on to say she never really liked me, but felt sorry for me, and I was just a constant drain on her energy. I text back that I appreciated her honesty and was sorry I made her feel that way. There's been no communication since. The other was a male who I've also known for several years. We've been texting regularly, but I haven't seen him in person for awhile. I text during down times in my day, and asked at one point if I was being a bother or interrupting his work day. He said he liked receiving my text and it was no bother. I continued texting. This evening he texts me saying my texting him all day really kind of pissed him off because he does have a job he's expected to do and he can't get it done when I'm blowing up his phone. Even though I'm in a different state, I feel so embarrassed and just want to hide and cry. His reaction was a complete contradiction to his earlier text! I don't think I'll talk to him anymore because now I just feel too self conscious about it.

I've never been good at making 'friends'. Somehow, I always seem to say or do the wrong things. I'm so socially awkward and our of place!

Two people who've never met reject me in the same week. Sure leaves me feeling pretty crappy about myself. I just want to hide in my house and avoid everyone now.

You are not stupid or a bother, I'm telling you because I experience pain and sometimes rejection, but I know how hard it is sometimes to live with depression. I'm here, not going anywhere, and you can reach me out whenever you need

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