Crashing down hard

Ever since my depression has really spiked up, I've been doing everything I could think of including going to therapy, contacting crisis lines, and starting up on an antidepressant a few days ago. I've also been trying to find ways to distract myself including writing, video games, and movies. I finally got a relief last Wednesday and have had better days Wednesday-Friday, but since then I've really been hurting worse than I did before then. I can't really seem to focus on anything and there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought of death this whole month. I feel so alone and trapped, and I know I could ultimately get through this, but I don't really think I want to.

Anti-depressants can take a while before the concentration in your blood is at therapeutic levels. If, after a few weeks it is still not working, see about changing medications or adding on something that will compliment the one you are already using.

My guess is that you really don't want to die. You just want the pain and confusion to end. I know you are frustrated. Therapy takes a long time and a lot of trust, but ultimately, if you have a good therapist, finding the cause of your depression can go a long way in stopping it.

If you have an activity that you really enjoy, put your energy into working on it. Sometimes working on a hobby helps concentrate your thoughts and keeps your mind off of the problems eating away at your life.

Do you have a dog? It may sound silly, but because canines pick up our emotions so easily, they can be excellent helpers. They are always there for you, they don't judge and they know when you are in trouble. i was reading an article the other day about a woman who is schizophrenic. She has a dog with her all the time. When she has hallucinations, she looks to the dog. If the dog is reacting to what she is seeing or hearing, she knows that it is real. If the dog is not reacting, she knows she can ignore the hallucinations. She has a different problem than yours, but you might benefit from having a four legged friend.

sam2

Yeah, I know it will probably take a while for the medication to take effect.

I am not sure about that really at this point, as I've said, I'm not even sure if I want to get to the other side of this, doesn't really seem worth it. But yes I definitely agree that it can be gotten over with time.

Like I've said, nothing really seems to work in distracting me anymore.

Yep, I have two dogs who I get to see on the weekends. That's a cool story about the lady with schizophrenia and I definitely agree, dogs definitely make a difference.

I agree with sam, it can tKe between 4-6 weeks for anti-depressants to begin to kick in. In my case it took longer because I am so sensitive to side effects that we had to up my dosage gradually so it took a very long time for me to start feeling stable. So please do not lose hope.

Your experience really resonates with me. Before my meds kicked in I could barely function. I could not even read or watch a tv show. I tried everything I could just to get my brain to shut off.

Please give it some time, medication can do wonders. I know the idea of waiting a month or more can be agonizing but cut yourself some slack. You feel the way you feel right now and that is ok if the meds and therapy work great! If not move on to the next thing. The important thing is to not give up hope. Even if you feel like nothing matters, even if just waking up in the morning is a herculean task. It can get better, and better does not always mean kittens and rainbows, sometimesnit is the realization that not everything sucks.

Hugs

Its ok to give yourself permission to be depressed. Like everyone said give the meds a chance to work. If not add something to it, change meds....keep trying.