[breemarie]

Why is it that when you are going through something very painful such as major depression, a serious illness, death of a loved one, or any other painful situation, the people in your life who you thought were close to you, disappear? What is that about? After I became unemployed, lost my mom and going through a whole list of difficulties several of my so-called close friends and family members avoided talking to me. Granted, I have withdrawn and isolated, (a symptom of depression), but I have told people it is because of my being depressed and going through so much. You would think that every now and then they would call or email to let me know they are still around if I need them. I even emailed a few people and told them how unhappy and alone I was and I got no responses. That is so hurtful. It makes me want to just end all contact with them. How do you abandon someone that is clearly in trouble, even if they are withdrawing? Am I wrong to be upset and hurt?

[pegasus]

Hugs (((((((((( breemarie ))))))))))))

I think that some people just don't know how to react when someone is sad, distressed or going through grief.

I'm glad you are here at Psych Central, there are people here who understand.

Take care.

[breemarie]

So if and when I am able to come out of this fog that I'm in, I should just go back to speaking with everyone like nothing happened, even though they turned their backs on me?

I had a similar situation when I overdosed a few months ago & I ended up e-mailing a friend who lives several states away & knows I suffer from depression (she has had bouts of it,too). I told her what happened & I never heard from her again. It's been 5 mos. We've known each other for 30 years--raised our kids together.

My father especially didn't want to hear about or acknowledge that I had any depression issues (my mother was bp & committed suicide so he's had enough of the mentall illness deal). He couldn't cope with me & basically ignored me & actually found another lady that he started introducing as his daughter (she wasn't but she was his type of yacht club party hostess that I definitely wasn't!) Long story on that one! Talk about dysfunctional.

But when he was dying he suddenly got all sentimental (the party girl daughter disappeared as soon as he became too ill to participate in the yacht club functions) & I pretended like we had a relationship. I did what I called my "duty visits." They were very hard for me. I had been rejected by this guy & now I had to pretend we had a relationship, but I did it & I think it was the right thing to do. I offerred someone suffering some comfort. But I still grieve that I never really had a father (or a mother).--Suzy