Why don't I like attention?

At times I do, but I usually don't.

I hate when people put there attention to me. But then I want it other ways.

I hate when people worry about me , hate it. Reason why I never tell anyone anything in IRL, because I do not want people worrying,& I hate attention to me.

Why do you think you hate attention? Is it related to yr illness? Sounds like yr having a hard time. We're here for you.

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I'm not really sure why. Not sure.Yes, I'm struggling with depression,

Could it be that you are not used to being in the spotlight so it seems odd for you?
I don't think hating attention is a bad thing in and of itself. However, it could get you into hot water if that prevents you from seeking help when you need it. Have you talked to your therapist about this?

Sorry for the questions. Hugs.

I haven't liked attention, because as a youngster, I sometimes felt, as though my mom bragged a bit much as she craved,or seemed to crave making things rosier than they were. It seemed, upon reflection, to deflect from her own insecurities. Not that I wanted a complete downplay, just not wanting pedestal too high up, higher than necessary.

Not sure, if it's similar to anything you may be experiencing. Just sharing to express, my own discomforts with attention.

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No, I haven't talked to her about it, yet. I am definitely not use to being in the spotlight .

And, I was never really bragged about.

So you want people to social with you: chat chat / hang out. But you don't want people to social with you if it's because they are concern about your depression. ???

No, not necessarily. I somewhat want to be social, but I get really nervous. Plus I never share things with people, even if there close to me.

Plus, I just don't like most attention to me, a little yes, but I don't like when people watch,& pay attention.

if you don't feel you're any good in any way inside, it's only normal to not want any attention because you worry if people paid attention to you, they'd notice all those flaws you think are all real about yourself.

I don't like attention on me because I feel like I'm being judged. I know, to some extent, everyone a person meets is judging them. I'm never quite sure if someone's attention to me is genuine or mocking.
I don't know if this is similar to how you feel, but you're not alone in feeling awkward about attention being focused on you.

I can be the same way. Mainly I notice on my birthday. I hate my birthday because I don't want any gifts or attention. I think it is a self esteem issue. I have gotten much better about it over the years. I do deserve help and positive healthy attention. We all want validation and to be accepted. The problem is we can often seek in out in unhealthy ways. Shocking statements, drama queen, passive aggressive and so on.

We have to learn to identify our needs and be able to ask in a healthy way to get them met.

I feel the exact same way. I don't like to tell people things that are wrong with me, like my depression, because they tend to look at me differently. Not necessarily in a negative way....but everything I do will become cause for concern, or they'll try to connect everything I do back to my depression. But sometimes I do want attention, I want someone to be concerned with me. I get this probably makes no sense, but I can be finicky and want concern on my terms. Sounds selfish, but there is nothing more annoying than someone bringing up my depression or acting as though I'm not okay when I'm actually having a good day.

Yes, I don't like when things are about me... I know there nothing good about me, but I know a ton of bad things about me.

I feel the same way you do. I hate attention in almost every situation and I hate it when anyone worries about me. I've decided that it's because I feel guilty and feel like I don't deserve to be given special attention or worried about, like other people shouldn't be putting effort into me. Maybe that's the reason behind it for you? I suffer from depression also, so it could be a depression thing.

A common feeling associated with depression is worthlessness. So if you don't feel that you add up to much, you probably don't want attention. Like when you've done badly in a test at school, the very last thing you want is someone saying "Hey how did it go?" and if you know you did badly because you didn't do enough work then you don't want someone to say "Never mind, I'm sure you tried your best." or even worse "Well you should have tried harder."

So, if you feel bad about yourself, you are bound to feel anxious about what other people are going to say. You're convincing yourself that at best their attention will be insincere (you tried your best) or at worst insensitive (should have tried harder).

I think Zinco is right, we do need gentle validation to remind ourselves that we're not all that bad and we do have good qualities too. Try to remember, as uncomfortable as you may feel, that being nice to others helps some people feel better about themselves, so try to do your best by them even if you don't feel deserving.

I do feel worthless most of the time & hopeless. I always can't find anything good about myself.

I tell people, I'm not sure,& laugh it off. I don't ever tell anyone personal things. I'm nice to them, but I usually ignore them because I'm scared.

At the same time I want attention, but then I don't. Because I feel like everyone is against me,& hates me......

I'm sure that people aren't really against you or hating you. But it is a very common feeling for most of us to have every so often, you just seem more sensitive to that feeling than other people.

If people are showing their concern and noticing you then that means they care about you. Let them reach out to you a little, and respond by being polite and maybe deflecting the attention back on to them by asking about their welfare. So if someone says "Hey how are you doing?" you could say "Oh, so-so but I'd rather not talk about it, but tell me how you are?" Most people love to talk about themselves so will be easily diverted by the opportunity you would be giving them.

I've only had one person notice something about me ,& they were worried. Not many people are worried, unless I'm really sick.

Neither do people ask how I am. Sometimes they do, but I say I'm ok,& happy. When I'm really depressed

I think that's because so many people just keep to themselves these days. So, maybe people noticed that you may not be yourself that day, but so many don't want to take the time or just feel they are interfering and should mind their own business.
I think the days of long ago, when people communicated all the time - directly, face-to-face - no text messages or internet, is how things should be. When neighbors would visit each other on the porch and people socialized all through the day. Now we all just keep to ourselves. This makes for a very lonely planet of people.

I relate to your feelings, in fact the main difference between us is age (and that is of no consequence). I know you're feeling bad, because I'm like that too. I worry about you because I can remember how it felt when I was younger, especially having no-one to talk to and being too scared to say to anyone what was happening. I also want someone to notice and care, but I'm scared of showing I'm vulnerable and I don't want to cause worry. It is mad to feel like that and be so contrary, wanting things and then not being able to accept those things if they are offered.

All I can say is that, in time you will get a little braver about reaching out and letting people reach out to you. It is a good thing that you are here on PC because there are lots of people who have been exactly where you are, but don't let PC stop you from getting support IRL.

Thank you.I want to tell the Teacher who noticed, but I can't. For one I am way too scared, I don't like when people worry, I don't feel comfortable telling someone about my depression, & I do not want my parents to worry.

I feel like if I don't tell anyone soon, I will go through with my plan. I contemplated it almost everyday, & actually have considered it. Came extremely close once(& I wish I could of carried it out).

Not only that, but I have a lot of other things I deal with.

I think you are really close to reaching out IRL. You recognise just how important it is to tell someone your feelings. When you do reach out you will be so overwhelmed by relief that you will forget about the fears you have of causing others worry and anxiety.

If you don't reach out and instead act on those other urges then you will cause people far more worry and hurt than you can ever believe possible right now. Trust me, I KNOW. I did something once and seeing how much pain I caused was much much worse than any problem I've had before or since.

Stay strong and know that there are always friends here on PC who want to keep you safe.