[Fuzzybear]

It's exhausting, second guessing everything I say both IRL and online..

I know I'm not a bad person. I don't hurt anyone intentionally. I've been hurt so many times when I've thought I was beginning to trust someone, or some place.. including therapy. It would take me years to trust a therapist after .... And they might turn on me after years anyway.

So much not to say. So tiring seeking refuge which is nowhere.

[kaliope]

I know what it is like to be a good person and to constantly seem to have bad things happen over and over again. that is why I live in my own little agoraphobic world trusting no one and not having a life. it is safer that way. I am happy the best way I can be not letting anybody in. I enjoy my job helping others and then I go home and read and watch tv, go to the occasional paint class. content with the way things are. I keep myself safe.

[Nammu]

It is exhausting.

[Rohag]

Thank you for sharing your words with us, dear Fuzzybear.

You are among those who, when hurt, the hurt rushes down and embeds itself in the bedrock of your person. You are exceptionally brave to share what you have.

[Idiot17]

You're right, refuge which is nowhere. It's very tiring.....perhaps that's why i say i shut down.
Keep strong.
(((((fuzzy))))))

[herethennow]

i hope the nowhere becomes somewhere in near future's time.
stay strong, fuzzy.

[gayleggg]

Thanks for sharing, Fuzzy. I know it is was hard. We are so glad to have you here.

Shielding ourselves from future hurt is exhausting and still sometimes imposible to avoid.

I hope one day you can find somebody to trust that deserves your trust because you are one awesome, loving bear and deserved more.

Fuzzy, I hope you find refuge here on PC. I think you do, and we all appreciate your support.

[Clara22]

Fuzzy,
I am sorry people are second guessing you. To me, that is more a sign of how much our human relationships are complicated nowadays than something particular or personal. You are always like a brilliant light in my way, like a solid rock of friendship and kindness, I hope you will feel better soon

[H3rmit]

It's sure tiring. I realized I can't keep doing it. I just do my best and let the chips fall where they may, knowing I am never going to be one of those people who is so good at social things and says the right things most of the time. I accept that about myself. Some people are so judgmental. I don't want to be like them. Sometimes I can't accept what someone has said/done to me, but in many cases that is just about my preference, not about them doing something bad. They also can't know what drives me crazy, and they probably won't care or often don't understand if I tell them. In conclusion, we have to live with a lot of uncertainty in social matters. That's just the way it is, and it can't be fixed most of the time.

[ToeJam]

Pm'd the bulk of my thoughts... but to reiterate one small point:

I find the rare glimpse of a thread you've created before editing with a delete to be eye opening and often times, issues I can relate to and invaluable for their insight.

I wish you would stop being concerned with the impact they might have to whoever you are worried about here... and just be yourself... be open and let us chat with you

I have yet to see one that implicates the actions of others in any specific way... and if one should do a 'oh my god!'... then perhaps they are reading too deep... making it their baggage. That's their issue... not yours. Please don't shy away from imparting your experiences