My depression is so severe that I spend a lot of time in bed when I'm not actually sleeping. Just being out of bed and participating in life is painful to me, yet I know I don't have the guts to commit suicide.

I end up waking up at about 4 in the morning but don't actually get out of bed for good to start my day until about 8:00. Between those hours, I'll get up periodically -- to make coffee, let the dogs out but I always retreat back to bed to just lie there and do nothing until about 8. At that time I get up "for good" and go about my day - - just passing time on the internet and watching t.v., usually get out of the house to go to an AA meeting at noon. But, then it gets to the point in the day where I just can't stand participating in life anymore. I force myself to stay out of bed until 5 p.m., but then it's at that time that I go back in bed and just lie there, even though I don't take my sleep meds until 9 p.m. (and fall asleep shortly thereafter for what turns out to be a decent night's sleep).

I'm very ashamed of and embarrassed about this behavior, but at least I'm keeping myself alive. I just have no interest in doing anything/being out of bed past 5 p.m. or before 8 a.m. I minimize the time I force myself to halfway participate in life by staying in bed. This whole routine has been going on for the past several months. When my depression first started in early August, I know I wasn't limiting my hours out of bed. It has just progressed to that point.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else spends time in bed just lying there doing nothing (waking up in the middle of the night with insomnia doesn't count). I feel like such a loser for even posting this. The answer is probably no.

Yeah I do this a lot and would do it a whole lot more if I had the chance. You saying it's keeping you alive is how I see it too. On days when I'm really struggling and can't trust myself and see sense enough I literally send myself to bed and make myself stay there even if I'm not tired.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have our own ways of coping with depression, I reckon there's a whole load of people who do this too

I'm sorry to hear that things are so bad that you do this too, secretwhisper. So I guess I'm not the only one.

Mind you, I am not by nature a lazy person who's unenthusiastic about life. I went to law school by day and worked at night. I have had my own law practice and volunteered in the community. I used to be an avid jogger. My life has just fallen apart with this episode, and my bed is a refuge from a world I can't seem to be a part of very well. My God, do I ever need help.

[Nammu]

I do this but I don't get up at 8, I sometimes don't get up at all. I have no place to be. So there are times I don't bother to leave the bedroom, except for those trips to the kitchen and bathroom. TV is often the only reason I get up, how is that for pathetic? There's nothing on TV but it's the high point of my existence!

Nope you are not alone.

[Altered Moment]

When in a severe depression I can spend 18 hours in bed actually sleeping most of that time. Or I can stay up all night watching TV and sleep all day. Or if I can't sleep I will lay in bed and read. It is hard for me to lay there and do nothing if I can't sleep.

Originally Posted by sidestepper

I do this but I don't get up at 8, I sometimes don't get up at all. I have no place to be. So there are times I don't bother to leave the bedroom, except for those trips to the kitchen and bathroom. TV is often the only reason I get up, how is that for pathetic? There's nothing on TV but it's the high point of my existence!

Nope you are not alone.

I should tell myself what I preach when I say that your behavior isn't pathetic; it's just a sign of the depth of your illness.

Easy for me to say to you; hard for me to tell myself. As I said, I'm ashamed that I don't try harder. I just don't have it in me though. Not right now at least. I'm really surprised my husband even sticks with me, seemingly unconditonally.

Whe I have to go out in the world, it is exhausting-especially if I have to go out for two or three days in a row. Then I allow myself a 'quiet' day-stay in my pjs, don't take on any responsibility-sleep or read or watch tv. I think tv is wondereful! It is something to take me out of my head, or even just keep me company when I'm reading or on the computer.
So quit beating yourself up. This is what is working for you right now and when you start to feel better, and you will, you will adjust your schedual accordingly.
You take care of your animals, which is great and should always be #1. But as far as just staying in bed with nothing to occupy your mind, that is something you may consider changing. Listening to those racing thoughts and feeling guilty and ashamed is not good. Maybe you could read or find something else (crafts?) to do and still stay in bed.
I understand the apathy, but you have to fight it. Do't let it control you. Maybe you could just take baby steps and find one thing each day that will make you smile. I have a cat (the most wonderful cat in the world, of course) and just playing with him and spending luvy time with him every day always makes me feel better. Maybe you could do that with your favorite dog or all of them?
But this is a great place to come and reaching out to others who suffer the same way can be a start to healing. Hope it gets better! Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

[waggiedog]

No, absolutely NOT, this kind of behaviour is not uncommon in depression. When I'm suicidely depressed I actually spend 23 hours a day/night in bed, sleeping on and off, it doesn't bother me at the time for I just want to isolate and keep well away from the ''normal'' world. Don't beat yourself up over this as it really IS common in depression. HUGS. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[TheOriginalMe]

When my doc signed me off work, he really pushed for me to have a plan to keep occupied. This wasn't because he felt I was well enough for work, it was because he remembers my past episodes when I have retreated to my bed for days, weeks even. I don't think it is at all unusual, it is part of the isolation that overwhelms the profoundly depressed.

I get up about 8am to see to my dog, I then lounge in my PJs until 2pm somedays. Then I take Tessa out for her walk and after that I need to sleep a while. Then it is time to make a meal, followed by TV. I go to bed around 10pm but maybe can't sleep until after 2am.

I remember one flat I lived in only had three rooms, tiny kitchen, small bathroom and big bed-sitting room. The bed folded up into a big wall cupboard but when I was depressed, I would just live in that bed and I never felt guilty about not getting up. I only had a two yard walk to the bathroom and another two yards to the kitchen. Even when I cooked something I could go back to bed while I was waiting.

Creating a routine for ourselves when we're depressed is important and you've done that, so when things start to look up you'll have something to build on.

[Idiot17]

Whenever i'm not needed by my family i'm in bed, pretty much all those hours spent in bed i'm awake.
So to answer your question, no you're not alone in this.
(((((newgal)))))