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#1
Apr 23, 2014, 04:13 PM
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finding it very difficult to trust, to talk, to believe.
Phones are out of the question, I keep trying two different chat crisis lines but am always told they are busy. I've been googling how to but don't want to wait for supplies. I've never needed more to reach out and find it hopeless. Too many times in the past it has failed and I can not trust that anything has changed and that there is any help for me any where, at the same time I don't want to hurt anyone and what I want to do would hurt others I feel so hopeless and unable to trust anyone. I received an email from the SW at the doctors office.....times are hard, resources are scarce I'll see what I can find.....that was a few days ago...., guess I'm not worth much I really hate being poor. The hospitals here are not an option, don't know what else is, I get the message, I'm not worth it, do it yourself, just shape up or ship out......god if only I could ship out, anywhere is better than here
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
 Anonymous100305, Anonymous37781, Anonymous37807, Fuzzybear, herethennow, JadeAmethyst, mulan, ToeJam
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#2
Apr 23, 2014, 04:15 PM
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__________________
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#3
Apr 23, 2014, 05:18 PM
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I got though to one of the chat lines but when she asked for a zip code I got paranoid and bailed. Trust is really an issue right now.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| mulan
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#4
Apr 23, 2014, 05:22 PM
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I get how you feel, about trust being a huge issue right now.. For me also
 Keep us updated
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| Nammu
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 Nammu
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#5
Apr 23, 2014, 05:38 PM
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Too much trauma from those that were supposed to be helping. I know in my head that what happened to me in the past inside of hospitals is not likely but ......
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous445852
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#6
Apr 23, 2014, 05:40 PM
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"Too much trauma from those that were supposed to be helping"
I completely get that part  Share more if you feel you can. Sending support.
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| mulan, Nammu
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| Nammu
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#7
Apr 23, 2014, 08:13 PM
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((((((sidestepper))))))
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#8
Apr 24, 2014, 08:52 AM
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Sorry to hear you are in such a bind, sidestepper. Thinking of you . . .
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| Nammu
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#9
Apr 24, 2014, 10:41 AM
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I hear ya. I was recently told I can no longer go to the MI clinic I was going to because of severe budget cuts. I had an excellent pdoc too. Now I am gonna have to go to a GP PA for refills. Sucks cuz my pdoc was like a therapist too. He would always give me at least a half hour.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
| Anonymous37781, Nammu
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| Nammu
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#10
Apr 24, 2014, 11:09 AM
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Yes, every so often I get the urge to reach out in an effort to find some help, beyond just my
 who sees me for about 10 minutes every 2 or 3 months. But realistically, I know there's no help out there.  As you wrote, Sidestepper, do it yourself... shape up for ship out...  Guess that's kind-of what makes PC so important. There's always a safe place for us here... 
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| Nammu
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| Nammu
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#11
Apr 24, 2014, 03:14 PM
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You are right skeeztks that's what makes PC so important. I've been feeling like leaving PC because of the paranoia but then I'd be alone with these thoughts by and of the illness. Thanks for this reminder, that I got to fight these and stay here at PC where there's others who understand.
Thank you everyone for your kindness. It really does make a difference.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous100305, Anonymous37781, Fuzzybear
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#12
Apr 24, 2014, 04:09 PM
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Oh yes, Sidestepper... I know that feeling well. In fact I was battling it again yesterday!
 I've had 5 YouTube channels (2 are current.) But the other 3 are channels I closed because I got frustrated or ticked off about something & shut them down. Then, after a week or two, I'd be back opening a new one!  Just yesterday, I was having a bad day & began to feel a strong urge to dump EVERYTHING... my 2 YouTube channels, my Upload Society channel, my PC membership, etc. I just felt like destroying it all... virtual Armageddon!  Fortunately, over time, I've developed just enough self-control so I'm not so likely to do something like that as I used to be. Of course that doesn't mean that it couldn't still happen... sometime! 
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| Nammu
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| Nammu
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#13
Apr 24, 2014, 04:16 PM
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Virtual Armageddon........love that phrase, that's it, it describes the self destruction impulses perfectly. Fortunately I too have learned over the years to walk away before acting on such impulses and give it time. I guess that's how I have lived long enough to become an old curmudgeon and card caring member of AARP.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous100305
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#14
Apr 24, 2014, 04:41 PM
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Good post, I agree
Quote:
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#15
Apr 24, 2014, 06:12 PM
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Was gonna start a thread asking why would anyone be so pathetic to trust, guess you got me.
As you said we're on own dealing with it. Well said. Why would i be tempted at times to find someone i can speak to. (((((sidestepper)))))) |
| Nammu
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| Nammu
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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