I can't keep dealing with all of this

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 08:57 AM

I can't keep dealing with my Depression.Its getting really overwhelming. I can't ever be happy. At times, I don't even know I'm sad.I am depressed lately, non-stop. Some days it's really overwhelming. I don't want to get out of bed most days . I just want to sleep everyday,& not do anything.

I have no energy,& I can't really do much. I'm not motivated in school at all, I have no interested in school anymore. My grades are dropping,& my parents & teachers are wondering why I'm doing so bad.

I can't have fun, noting is really enjoyable to me. It sucks, I can't ever have fun ,& that I don't enjoy many things. I even noticed I'm losing interested in my passion which dogs.

The suicidal thoughts are everyday,& now there just a normal part of my thoughts. I'm really starting to enjoy the thoughts,& think of it as solution to my problems. I really fantize a lot with suicide. I contemplated when I get really low,& at times, have highly considered going through with it.

gayleggg · Apr 24, 2014, 09:22 AM

I can relate. I've been depressed for a long time now. It was like you said and I thought I would never feel better again. Suicide was a major consideration for me and I still think of it sometimes, but with a change in medication I am feeling a bit better. I can even read a book now.

Hang in there. Tomorrow could always be a better day. I keep telling myself the suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problems. I read it somewhere and thy to keep it in mind when things get bad.

Hope you feel better soon.

Apr 24, 2014, 09:45 AM

The Fox & the Hound, I'm really glad you keep posting on here. It must help to get it all out, and we're all more than happy to support you. I have no doubt your depression will lift someday. I've never heard of anyone being depressed forever. I should really tell myself what I preach, because I've been having suicidal ideation lately too.

Altered Moment · Apr 24, 2014, 10:19 AM

I know exactly what that is like. Those thoughts have often comforted me. Everything you describe is totally severe depression.

I don't like to be preachy Fox and usually I am not but I really think it is time for you to reach out for help. I know you have been struggling with telling someone. We can't do this alone. If you were totally honest with your parents would they not want to get you professional help?

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 11:10 AM

Severe Depression?I don't even notice it is that bad. Most of the time I don't notice I am sad, until I am really low.

Posting here helps a lot.

I really don't want my parents to know, especially my dad. I really want to tell the teacher, but I can't. A memeber here even helped me make a email to send to that teacher. one

Altered Moment · Apr 24, 2014, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

I can't keep dealing with my Depression.Its getting really overwhelming. I can't ever be happy. At times, I don't even know I'm sad.I am depressed lately, non-stop. Some days it's really overwhelming. I don't want to get out of bed most days . I just want to sleep everyday,& not do anything.

I have no energy,& I can't really do much. I'm not motivated in school at all, I have no interested in school anymore. My grades are dropping,& my parents & teachers are wondering why I'm doing so bad.

I can't have fun, noting is really enjoyable to me. It sucks, I can't ever have fun ,& that I don't enjoy many things. I even noticed I'm losing interested in my passion which dogs.

The suicidal thoughts are everyday,& now there just a normal part of my thoughts. I'm really starting to enjoy the thoughts,& think of it as solution to my problems. I really fantize a lot with suicide. I contemplated when I get really low,& at times, have highly considered going through with it.

I am not a psychiatrist and I cannot diagnose you but I can tell you those are all the exact same symptoms I get when I am in a severe depression.

No energy
No motivation
Only want to sleep
No interest in things I am normally interested in
Can't concentrate on things
Screwed up sleep patterns
Changes in appetite
Feeling worthless
Suicidal thoughts
Not living up to peoples expectations and major shame about it.
Can't make it to work
Performance at work goes way down hill.
Totally isolating
Don't want anyone bothering me....leave me alone
Ashamed to reach out for help
etc

Those are all the symptoms I get when in a severe depression and more.

mulan · Apr 24, 2014, 11:45 AM

If your parents are concerned and if they are informed people, they certainly will help you. Even without you telling them, and starting the conversation. I know how it feels like, depending on older people to get help, have to tell someone else in order they can get help for us. It would be much more easier if we could get profissional help on our own without going through other people.
I hope they make a move son. And I hope you help them in the proccess. Hughs.

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

I am not a psychiatrist and I cannot diagnose you but I can tell you those are all the exact same symptoms I get when I am in a severe depression.

No energy
No motivation
Only want to sleep
No interest in things I am normally interested in
Can't concentrate on things
Screwed up sleep patterns
Changes in appetite
Feeling worthless
Suicidal thoughts
Not living up to peoples expectations and major shame about it.
Can't make it to work
Performance at work goes way down hill.
Totally isolating
Don't want anyone bothering me....leave me alone
Ashamed to reach out for help
etc

Those are all the symptoms I get when in a severe depression and more.

I hate dealing with all of this. I deal with a lot more beside that too. I don't know why I deal with so much stuff.

I just want to die.

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mulan

If your parents are concerned and if they are informed people, they certainly will help you. Even without you telling them, and starting the conversation. I know how it feels like, depending on older people to get help, have to tell someone else in order they can get help for us. It would be much more easier if we could get profissional help on our own without going through other people.
I hope they make a move son. And I hope you help them in the proccess. Hughs.

I don't want my Dad to know. I'm terrified to tell them

I do want to tell my teacher, I'm in the class now.But I can't.

If I tell him I'm seriously considering it , I don't know afar they're do.

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 02:33 PM

I just want to break down crying. I'm really depressed.

Altered Moment · Apr 24, 2014, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

I hate dealing with all of this. I deal with a lot more beside that too. I don't know why I deal with so much stuff.

I just want to die.

Its ok to break down crying. Its ok to be depressed.

I don't like dealing with all this stuff and more either. I don't know what choice I have, it is the hand life dealt me. It is not fair, life sucks.

When I was in 7th grade and started having depressions neither my parents or I had a clue. I would come home with bad grades and I would get punished. That was the last thing I needed. I needed help. It was right about then I started self medicating with drugs and alcohol. This went on for 17 years before I finally reached out for help. It was pretty ugly by this point. I was 32.

Life is a WE game. I can't do it alone, it is too much. If my car breaks down I ask for help or bring it to a mechanic, I can't fix it. If I break my arm I go to a doctor to let him fix it, I can't fix it. When I had to get clean and sober I went to AA, I couldn't fix it. If there is something wrong with my head I go to the head doctors so we can figure out how to fix it. I can't but WE can.

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

Its ok to break down crying. Its ok to be depressed.

I don't like dealing with all this stuff and more either. I don't know what choice I have, it is the hand life dealt me. It is not fair, life sucks.

When I was in 7th grade and started having depressions neither my parents or I had a clue. I would come home with bad grades and I would get punished. That was the last thing I needed. I needed help. It was right about then I started self medicating with drugs and alcohol. This went on for 17 years before I finally reached out for help. It was pretty ugly by this point. I was 32.

Life is a WE game. I can't do it alone, it is too much. If my car breaks down I ask for help or bring it to a mechanic, I can't fix it. If I break my arm I go to a doctor to let him fix it, I can't fix it. When I had to get clean and sober I went to AA, I couldn't fix it. If there is something wrong with my head I go to the head doctors so we can figure out how to fix it. I can't but WE can.

My depression was really strong today. I want to cry, but I never do. I just want to know why I had to deal with all of this. I am getting more, & more into a depressed state,& it isn't getting better. It is just getting worse.

I have horrible grades. Three D's, & 2 C's. I want to good, but I am unmotivated, I don't care(I want to), have no motivation, I use to have a lot of motivation, I don't anymore. My mom is getting angry, & my teachers are. I do not know how my teacher will react if they knew I had depression. What will even happen if they know, & how they react?

Nammu · Apr 24, 2014, 06:00 PM

I can not tell you what to do. I can tell you that when I first thought of killing myself I was 9 years old and wanted very very much to tell the principle of my school. She was the one person who noticed that something wasn't right and would ask me what happened to that happy person from before, I wanted to tell her but I let my fear keep me silent. In high school I was so depressed I was hallucinating, still I let my fear keep me prisoner. I didn't ever tell anyone until after I tried to kill myself at 27 years old.

I often have wished I would have overcome my fear long ago and had told Mrs Frost, the principal. I would have gotten help because she would have made sure of it. Yes it would have been hard, embarrassing but my life would have been so much easier. If this teacher is someone you trust, do tell her. It might cause some hard moments but overall I think your life will be much better for it.

TheOriginalMe · Apr 24, 2014, 07:13 PM

The one thing I know for sure is that if I had help at 17, then 18-25 would have been much better for me. The next few years are some of the most important in your life as they are about gaining independence and freedom, they should be about discovering the world and doing all the things you dream of. What they shouldn't be about is being alone with depression.

I honestly think your parents, teachers and friends will be relieved when you tell them about your depression. They already know something is wrong and are worried right now. So when you open up to them, they will be relieved because they can start helping you.

Is there a reason that you think your dad will be cross?

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

The one thing I know for sure is that if I had help at 17, then 18-25 would have been much better for me. The next few years are some of the most important in your life as they are about gaining independence and freedom, they should be about discovering the world and doing all the things you dream of. What they shouldn't be about is being alone with depression.

I honestly think your parents, teachers and friends will be relieved when you tell them about your depression. They already know something is wrong and are worried right now. So when you open up to them, they will be relieved because they can start helping you.

Is there a reason that you think your dad will be cross?

How'd the be relieved? If I tell my parents I have depression,& they bring me to a psychologist-what will they do?

Would my teachers be informed?

Altered Moment · Apr 24, 2014, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

How'd the be relieved? If I tell my parents I have depression,& they bring me to a psychologist-what will they do?

Would my teachers be informed?

They would be relieved because there is a reason for what is going on with you. It is not your fault. You can get help. You already said your mom is getting angry and so are your teachers. You want to be motivated but you just can't be. Do you want them all to think falsely that you are just lazy and don't care. Do you want to get punished for something that your really don't have any control over. How is that fair to yourself.

If you tell your parents and they bring you to a psychologist that is a good thing. They can figure out how to help you. No your teachers don't have to know a thing. Everything between you and a psychologist is confidential. Your parents don't have to be in on the session.

Find a way to get the help you need. Why should you continue to suffer all by yourself. You said it is killing your grades and the things you care about. It will be hard and you will run into people who don't understand......but you know what screw them, this is about you and your health and that is what is most important.

smmath · Apr 24, 2014, 10:00 PM

Your teachers most likely won't be informed. It is really none of their business. It is your choice whether you want to talk to them about your mental health.

Why are you opposed to talking to your teacher?

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smmath

Your teachers most likely won't be informed. It is really none of their business. It is your choice whether you want to talk to them about your mental health.

Why are you opposed to talking to your teacher?

I'm not, just scared. If I wasn't scared, he'd already know.

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 24, 2014, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

They would be relieved because there is a reason for what is going on with you. It is not your fault. You can get help. You already said your mom is getting angry and so are your teachers. You want to be motivated but you just can't be. Do you want them all to think falsely that you are just lazy and don't care. Do you want to get punished for something that your really don't have any control over. How is that fair to yourself.

If you tell your parents and they bring you to a psychologist that is a good thing. They can figure out how to help you. No your teachers don't have to know a thing. Everything between you and a psychologist is confidential. Your parents don't have to be in on the session.

Find a way to get the help you need. Why should you continue to suffer all by yourself. You said it is killing your grades and the things you care about. It will be hard and you will run into people who don't understand......but you know what screw them, this is about you and your health and that is what is most important.

Stupid question- If I'm diagnosed with Depression,then they'd know why I'm like this. But, if my teachers didn't know, they'd still think I'm lazy,& don't care.

Question is~ will they be informed that there's a reason I'm acting like this?

Altered Moment · Apr 24, 2014, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

Stupid question- If I'm diagnosed with Depression,then they'd know why I'm like this. But, if my teachers didn't know, they'd still think I'm lazy,& don't care.

Question is~ will they be informed that there's a reason I'm acting like this?

That is actually a very smart question and a good one. No there is no reason at all that they would be informed unless you and your parents decided to tell them.

As far as what they would think of you if you didn't tell them....that is a tough one. Maybe you do the best you can and they think what they think. Maybe you get help and feel better and your grades go up and it isn't an issue.

What is really important is your personal health and not what your teachers think. What matters is what you think. I do not know what grade you are in but you will have lots of teachers, some you like and trust and some you hate.

My daughter really struggled in High School. She was lazy and didn't care. (depressed). She didn't graduate with her peers. She went to adult school and got her diploma. She was so so proud to get that diploma. She earned it. She is almost 21 and got a 3.5 last semester in college. She had a really hard time as a teen and me and her mom helped her as much as we could. She seems to have come out on the other side in pretty good shape. Her teachers came and went and next semester she will have more teachers.

Lots of people will come in and out of your life. Latch on to the ones that can help you and don't worry about what the others think.

Nammu · Apr 25, 2014, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

How'd the be relieved? If I tell my parents I have depression,& they bring me to a psychologist-what will they do?

Would my teachers be informed?

Like others said your parents know something is going on, they don't know what unless you share this with them. Knowing there is something tangible they can do for you, like taking you to a specialist doctor is a relief.

What will a psychologist do? Talk to you and determine what the best treatment is for you, talk therapy, medicine, a combination, maybe finding an activity for you to connect with peers.

This is medical so no one would need to know as you are covered by medical confidentiality laws unless you or your parents shared it. If you don't want it shared tell your parents you want to decide who knows what.

The Fox & the Hound · Apr 25, 2014, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidestepper

Like others said your parents know something is going on, they don't know what unless you share this with them. Knowing there is something tangible they can do for you, like taking you to a specialist doctor is a relief.

What will a psychologist do? Talk to you and determine what the best treatment is for you, talk therapy, medicine, a combination, maybe finding an activity for you to connect with peers.

This is medical so no one would need to know as you are covered by medical confidentiality laws unless you or your parents shared it. If you don't want it shared tell your parents you want to decide who knows what.

I have some other medical issues that are mental,& my teachers know about it . So, I'm not sure if I'll want to tell them.

I'm