[Nammu]

I've a mind worm drilling away at my ability to be functional, lost my glasses yesterday and today can't find my hearing aid....kind of feel like just walking into the nearest hyway, I'd choose a sea but that's too far way. Besides I'd have to get dressed or I'd get picked up for walking around in a nightgown, in this town yer not allowed outside unless you are part of the "normals" you can be weird but only inside certain limits. Gone are the days a male could wear a bikini a beard and run for government.

[painisme]

had a bad day and broke down on the way home..but starting to pull out of it

[NWgirl2013]

I wish I could make this better. For me. For you. Pain brings depression brings pain brings depression...

Just didn't want to get out of bed this morning - - which is usual for me on Saturdays. Since my husband is off on Saturday and we lounge in bed together first things in the morning, I just feel like I want to stay there forever with him and not face the world. Eventually, we got out of bed and took the dogs for a walk. Now he will be gone all day running errands and fishing, but at least I have a few things in the hopper too. As I always say, I hate weekends because I feel they're meant to have fun and relax and I just can't do that now.

[regretful]

I used to know the joy and relaxation of weekends, but as this depression progresses, the only defining factor of the weekend versus any other day is that I will attend a church service on Sunday...

[StarStrike]

I stayed in bed until twelve o'clock. Got up, went shopping for my grandparents. Got told I made my family situation worse be telling my brother all of the bad things my dad says about him to me. Same old stuff in repeat. -Sigh- I'm afraid I don't know who I am anymore. Through all of my contemplation, there's only one thing I understand about myself. I'm unhappy with my life.

[Hellion]

Don't really want to go in full detail on this site, but I was sort of an idiot last night...and now I feel kind of bad about it and have to track down my bicycle I left at someones house.

I am ok, I just feel so stupid.

[RunningInTheRain]

I'm doing all right today. Yesterday was a bit rough...I was having an okay day until sometime during dinner, when all of the sudden I felt like I'd just been hit in the face with a bunch of worthlessness and basically hatred for myself...and then my parents fought a lot for the rest of the night, which scares me a lot at this point because they're already on the verge of divorce.

[Nammu]

Have had an unbelievably great day. Even with an ambian I didn't get to sleep until after 4am, but I was able to go back to sleep after I woke up at 8am and have slept off and on all day until now, feel amazing. Had bizarre and terrifying dreams but still slept, I think this is the most and the most deeply I've slept in months. I'm tired but feel pretty good mood wise, also a new thing, perhaps the medicines are working? Whatever it is, I'll take it for however long it lasts. Huzza, huzza......about time.

[Bigmike727]

Keep having anxiety attacks every couple days, the Rivotril helps with killing them, but I am honestly afraid of becoming addicted to it as benzos are pretty dangerous with dependency.

[TheOriginalMe]

I smiled today. Not a pretend smile, a real smile, unprompted and genuine. I'm not even sure why I smiled, I just found myself smiling. At the time I was my mood was content, I was doing something that I know I can do well and I was absorbed in that activity and suddenly I was aware that I was smiling. THIS IS PROGRESS, at last.

Now I'm pretty exhausted, worn out by doing one extra thing in a whole day, but progress is progress no matter how small or slow.

[Rose76]

Hi. On my trip. Visiting family. Using a pad or tablet. Finding it hard. Doing okay. Sad situation, but glad to be here.

[Jeminminn]

Better today than the last few days. Today I was able to get out of bed by 11 and do laundry and get showered and dressed. I have not been able to do that for the previous 4 days. It is embarrassing to not clean as well as you used to, but it takes an enormous amount of effort even to do a load of laundry.

I have had major depression since the age of 22 and am now 43. Life has pretty much been awful and painful most of the time. I don't have a lot of friends and my family is nuttier than I am, so basically alone. Friends have left me because I am such a downer. I would give anything to be normal. It is frustrating because people don't understand. An example of how this has effected me is in the area of e employment. I am a very hard worker but consistently have trouble keeping jobs. The reason is my fault, I know. I am unable to warm up to my teammates, struggle with organization, and am extremely sensitive to any criticism (I virtually cry when someone tells me I did something wrong).

Can anyone relate? What do you do in these kinds of situations?

[nakitakunai]

Very sad all the time lately... nothing seems to help.

[tigerlily84]

I made an appointment to see a therapist. My appointment is next week and I'm looking forward to it... I was long overdue.

I had a really good night last night. It got ruined and this morning I just feel sad and confused.

Not looking forward to the day. Will be spending time with my husband, and maybe his family, but my husband's so full of life and enthusiasm, and I'm such a downer. Being around him makes me realized just how depressed I am, yet I'm so dependent on him for some sense of comfort.

[dandylin]

Spent time with family today, DH is making it difficult to want to be near him. So much negativity

[healingme4me]

I don't know what it is. Mood elevates here. Did 23 years ago('91). Did back in '01. As it does again, '14.

I can smile, laugh, experience joy. Why here?

Maybe it reminds me of my birth city? I had decent moods there.

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[StarStrike]

Today actually has some 'ups' to it.

Ups: Today me and my brother walked ten miles to the farm. I managed to get the duck eggs I like so much, sausages for my grandparents, pork belly for Friday's dinner, quail and mallard stu for tonight's dinner and a raspberry tart as a tasty treat. All of this trip out went off without a hitch and healthy unprocessed food is now in the flat for a change.

Downs: After my brother had an argument with my dad over the phone on Friday night and my name was mentioned in it I turned off my mobile to prevent my dad from phoning me and having a go at me. I was too paranoid to turn on my phone until after the trip up to the farm today, having learned yesterday that my dad has gone on holiday with his horrible fiance. I had a voice mail message from the early intervention team. They're sending over one of their staff members and this doctor person. I froze listening to that voice mail. They've never sent one of their doctors over before. It's always been social workers and assessors. I could be getting answers. I've been waiting for so long now. And I could be posting on another part of the forum as well as this for support on stuff that freak me out. And yet, I'm terrified. I'm afraid of what will become of me. I feel like breaking down and crying.

[the enchantedsoul]

I feel like my therapist doesn't listen I feel like he doesn't help and my bf barely helps because he doesn't understand..he logicalizes everything! Cant logicalize then it doesn't make sense! Just help! Not over analyze me.

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[Travelinglady]

I am feeling somewhat down because I am back to having lots of pain, and I am having stomach problems. Yesterday I finally just had to go back to bed because I was so miserable. But I am up now, hoping to meet some friends at Starbuck's.

[SilentVoices]

I'm not sure how I'm feeling today... a bit all over the place, but the meds seem to be working. I feel a little bit happier. I'm stressed out about exams, but that's normal for me. I'm struggling with my eating disorders though...

[bronzeowl]

Working on pulling myself out of isolation. Made plans to spend time with old friends. Can't wait. A bit anxious, as it's been so long since I've been around other people barring my family... but I'm sure I'll survive.

Depression is still here. But I'm doing my best to kick it... We'll see.

[Puffyprue]

worst headache, cannot sleep, so sad and cant stop crying