[down rite crazyy]

I am 27, F, my name is krysti, from PA.
i am diagnosed with Anxiety, PTSD, and Depression.
I was married to a guy that i thought was going to be with me forever. Well it turned out he was abusive and a liar. He smashed my head out my car door and i went into shock. Well he got scared so he rolled me out the car door going 40 mph. Long story short i spent a while in the ICU. with bleeding in my brain, partial broken back, broken ribs, my right side was nothing but road rash and face too And to top it off i got raped that night. But i was in shock. I only remember bits and pieces....
Anyways, I seemed to be fine and dealing well since it happened 5 years ago. I told myself i have 4 kids, i own my own equine business theres no time to be a sissy! Which now i believe was a mistake. I obviously never delt with it. I just lived off pain killers and ativan and celexa.
But 4 months ago i met a man that im in love with and he helped me break a 5 year pill habit. Now im sober and everythings coming back. HARDCORE... i am now negative, always doubting us being together, im embarressed of my body sometimes, i push him away, i look for reasons to not trust him, and its just not good. I feel like im ruined. What is wrong with me! I feel like im going nuts

[Stronger]

(((((Mija)))))

Dealing with trauma does not make you a sissy! I'm so sorry that that happened to you.
Are you in counseling at all? Do you have a t? He/she might be able to help you work through it.

Dealing with trauma is not easy. But it's better than pushing it under the rug, as I'm sure you've found out. That's what I did with one of my traumas too, and I really regret that I did. Because even though it happened 10 years ago, it still feels like it was yesterday at times.

You are strong, and you CAN work through this, mija! You can do this.

[gayleggg]

I would definitely suggest counseling for you and even couples counseling to help both of you through this.

Good luck.

[Curupira]

You and I have the same diagnosis. Depression, anxiety and PTSD are a real beast.

You have been numbing the pain for a long time. Not touching it and ot dealing with it. It was bound to come back and punch you in the guts (not your fault). What you have been through is enough to knock anyone out, and here you are still standing.

Therapy might help you, and of course we are here to listen. I am glad you found somone who supports you. I am not sure I would still be around without my husbands support. The PTSD made me have trust issues and I had to push through those in order to see that even though he was not a perfect human being (no one is) he was there for me always and more importnantly at that moment.

Hope this helps

[mikeysmom322]

Dealing with the feelings that come along with PTSD can't be easy. I know how strong emotions can come and go but you have to take it day by day. I know the feeling of shame and it's hard but you really shouldn't feel that way. Being nice to yourself can help, saying positive things about yourself can help. Maybe if you talk to him about the way you feel he will put you at ease. Guys are so cute sometimes.