it's so hard

It is so hard for me right now. I am very depressed and I don't know what to do. I have bipolar disorder and I don't know if I am getting sick or if life is giving me legitimate reasons for feeling like crap. The minute I wake up in the morning, I start crying. I cry at work, I cry in the shower. My boyfriend does not understand. He says that I am not a little girl and that I should be able to deal with my problems better. But it is not that simple for me. I don't want to feel this way, I just do. I don't even know how I get out of bed in the mornings anymore. It is hard for me to do basic things like take a shower. I just want to stay in bed with my head under the covers until I just waste away.

Are you being treated for your bp? Medication has helped me a lot. Also, it is recommended that you combine meds with therapy. Talk to your doc. Take care. I've been where you are & have found help.--Suzy

Hi adamsgirl

i understand what you mean, i know by my own experiences how hard days can be, and how hard it is to stop crying. fortunately, i know certain ways of helping yourself and getting past this phase. tried and tested.

firstly, see your doctor about being treated for your bipolar (if you havent already), then speak to your doctor about anti-depressants. depression means that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain, this is the core of depression, so the first thing to do would be to get anti-depressants as these balance the chemicals in the brain. it doesnt make depression go way, for sure. but it helps the day pass a little easier.

dont listen to epople who tell you it is your fault that you feel this way...it isnt. you are dealing with it the best you know how, that isnt your fault. it isnt anybodies fault.

id strongly suggest therapy. research some local therapists, and find the one you feel most comfortbale seeing, and go regularly. therapy is a must for people who are dealing with depression, in my opinion. maybe im biased because of my own experiences, but either way i know it helps.

i remember my days of wanting to hide under the duvet, hide in my room and just die. it all is familiar to me, what you said. and i know you will get through it soon.

dont expect your boyfriend to understand. dont feel bad towards him for not understanding, as people who havent experienced depression will never know what its like. it is beyond them, so dont be angry with him. to those who havent lived with depression, they believe us who have depression are just moody, and childish, and pathetic. little do they know it is more than that, alot more.

talk regularly about whats on your mind, how you are feeling etc. try to find positive things in your life. try to look forward to things, big or small. i know it is really hard to find things, but there are positives all around us, look deep enough and you will find them.

i wish you all the best.

simon

p.s. you just logged onto chat, see you there!

Hi Hon,

Are you on any meds? They can help tremendously!!
It sounds like you are severely depressed!! People don't want to be depressed. It's just there.
You want to feel better but can't.
Please see your doc and talk to them about it. Hopefully, they can put you on a med that will help. I am on two and it helps me tremendously.
Good luck
Linda