Loneliness and Depression

Does anyone else feel more lonely when they're depressed? Before depression struck me in early August, I didn't mind being alone and rarely felt lonely. In fact, I actually relished my alone time. Now I cling to my husband for dear life, literally sometimes.

In this severe depression, I find myself awful lonely. I think that's why I post on here so much, to feel some sort of human connection. I guess the obvious solution would be to leave my house and find some companionship, but that seems beyond my capabilities right now. So I hide behind the computer and t.v., just feeling crushing loneliness like I never have before.

Anyone else with me on the loneliness factor?

I know I haven't waited very long for a response, but I can't be the only lonely person in the Depression section!?

Hi newgal2,

I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through my 4th or 5th episode right now and it is miserable. I too cling to my husband! He stayed home from work with me today. Even though I have a supportive family and great friends, I still feel like I'm going this alone.

He and my 2 year old son are the only ones I want to be with right now, too. So going to work scares me, because I know I'll feel alone, even with my friends there.

But we're not alone are we? You're not alone!

How long have you suffered from depression, if that is your illness? What meds are you taking?

Do you ever get scared that this time, this episode, will be your last? That you won't recover? I always think that way. I know it's not going to happen, that there is plenty of help out there. But I think it just the same.

Anyway, thank you for your post!

You're not.

I've always been pretty much alone. I don't make friends often, and when I do, I often fail to maintain the friendship. It usually doesn't bother me much. When I'm having a depressive episode, though, it hurts. The loneliness literally starts to hurt.

I wonder if it has something to do with feeling vulnerable. After all, when one is ill (mentally or physically), that is when they need those they care about the most.

Hi Newgal,

I too suffer from horrid depression and am not married... connection really is the key, but when you are so depressed, it can be very hard to get out of bed or leave the house or be vulnerable and authentic with others. But, getting outside for short walks and grounding yourself in nature, the sun, really listening and feeling helps you keep your head above water. Talk to your therapist about literally creating a tool box of things to do when depressed or anxious...maybe put them on slips of paper in a pretty box or post a list on the fridge. Try some creative things like journaling, drawing, photography, collecting inspiring quotes, watcging TED videos, etc to help yourself get some of the pain and emotions out....and get up and wash up and make your bed every morning...I know that sounds dumb, but it does really help. Hang in there!!
Gentle hugs,
WB.

I'm so lonely right now and there is no one here for me, yet I'm expected to be there for others. Right now I'm in a room with someone who has their own troubles I listen and say nice things but all I want is someone to be here for me.

Depression is the loneliest place on the planet.

(((((((( newgal ))))))))

Hi ArtBen, my meds are in my signature. I have bipolar disorder and this is a episode of depression within that. Sometimes I fear it will never end because it has gone on for so long with no improvement (almost 10 months now!).

I understand what you mean by feeling alone around friends/coworkers, but what I'm really getting at is feeling very lonely when I'm by myself. Wanting that human connection because I feel so poorly and need the comfort of companionship of a good friend or close relative.

I agree completely about he vulnerability and needing to be around those that care about you. This is exactly what I'm getting at. Not happy for your situation, but it's somewhat comforting to know I'm not alone. Hugs to you.

Hi Wysteria, I don't have too much of a problem getting up, taking a bath and making my bed, but I know that doing the activities you suggest would not improve my depression. No matter what I try, the depression lingers. That's why I feel it's got to be largely a biochemical problem that I have going on. Thanks for the tips though. Just not applicable for me right now. I have more than just a down mood that activities will remedy. It's a deeply embedded biological problem.

So very lonely with depression...it's one of those conundrums associated with the illness for me...I really want to be with others, but can't seem to get up the energy to be around anyone for an extended period of time (by that I mean more than one minute)...I was rather gregarious when I wasn't depressed, and like you, valued those rare alone times...

That's why the walks and sun and such are great ways to help yourself, maybe only an eensy bit, and maybe not right away.

I'm like you, in that I know (whatever else might be going on, life history-wise and such) that there is a basic brain chemistry that isn't functioning correctly. The better I can treat my general health and physical well being, the better my brain can operate.... not my thinking, or my mind, but the actual body organ, the brain.

And if my brain is operating as best it can under the circumstances, the better my chances are that it won't be misfiring and causing me these undeserved and unnecessary horrible moods and feelings.

At minimum, it can't hurt, and it might help, lol.

Hi NewGal. I feel just like you. I have had this current cycle of depression for almost a year and I feel so alone with it. I get very lonely. I have friends but they really don't understand what this is like and they get tired of hearing about it, so I stopped talking to my regular friends. Until I found this forum I did not know there were so many people out there suffering the same pain and feeling the same things. I truly hope you feel better soon. The more you hurt the more you just want to talk to someone who cares. You can always talk to me.

Personally, I relish my alone time... as much as I can get. Perhaps I could get too much of it. But I doubt it.

You are definitely not alone! I could be in a room filled with friends and still feel lonely. It's so hard. I.love and adore my bf but my depression still takes its hold. Being around him gives me comfort but I don't have genuine happiness. I too suffer from bipolar depression so this forum applies more to me. I wish I had a magic wand so everyone here could be happy...I know I'm Good person but I still have thoughts of self loathing. I.truly hope you find some comfort knowing we're here for you. I'm so sorry yr struggling. Hugs to you.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

It is a mixed bag for me. Normally I am very content being alone but need a certain amount of social contact. When severely depressed I isolate and don't want to be around anyone. But what I have found is I do want to be around someone but I have to feel totally safe. If I feel even an inkling of judgement I'm out. Hard to when you can't even leave the house. I feel safe with my family but figured out I was burdening them too much. I found these forums and clung to them and to a couple of friends PM on face book. So I think the internet counts as human contact. We are real people.

After all the hard work I have done over so many years I can only conclude that mine is deeply biologically ingrained. Walks in the sun don't git it even though they should help. It is like an ant pushing an elephant biochemically. In my experience mine have to run their course and I can tell when I am coming out of the woods. At that point all the other things help. I do try to journal a lot about current issues. Mine is much more physical than emotional. No energy, no motivation, sleep all the time, feel totally numb, etc etc

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yep. Just like you, I loved being alone, and often sought it. Now, for some obscure reason, I hate it, ... both in the sense of friendship or a relationship. I can't help but to think there's a strange phenomena surrounding this feeling of "alone", especially as we can be surrounded by people but STILL feel alone.

Hi newgal2, I know exactly what you mean about the loneliness. When I'm with other people I feel like I need to put on a good face and be happy, but then when i'm alone I fall apart and cry, and wish I had the people I love the most with me. That need to be with people, to reach out, is contradicted by my constant fear of driving people away and so when I feel my worst I tend to strongly resist getting in touch with people who care about me because I don't want to drive them away or let them down or even just annoy them. Sad, needy people are a drag and I don't want to be the sad, lonely drag but then I pine for the human connection with my family and friends, which just compounds the sadness and loneliness. Depression sucks. I am glad your husband is supportive as much as he can be, and I hope you find a way out of this bout with depression soon. Feeling very much in the same boat here.

I often feel lonely. It's better to stay quiet, if all you've got is depression. I don't want to burden anyone with my dark thoughts. But the paradox being that I could sometimes use someone to ask about how I am feeling

I notice myself getting pissed now when people don't ask how I am doing once in awhile. Especially my brothers and sister. They know what I have been through all these years but seem to want to avoid the subject. I don't want to burden them but it would be nice if they asked.

A friend I had that I thought was developing into a good friendship I dumped because she would never text and ask how I was doing even though I texted her all the time asking about her problems. It was all about her. I like to help but friendship has to be a two way street.

(((((newgal))))

Hello to the room am really down today needing to vent to someone anyone there

Sent from my RM-820_nam_att_100 using Tapatalk

I do sometimes...