I am off to work but..I can't see to cope anymore. A little extra stress has me over the edge, it took 2 Xanax to get through the day and all I could think of was running... and that I have a full bottle at home...

I don't know what to do. I want my T but we are kind of new and I don't want to be a big clingy dependent baby. I feel so hopelss that things will change. I used to be self sufficient, a home-owner, have a car. Now I'm a step from nothingness.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'm going to fall apart and then I will lose everything. I have some family but they are sick of me and want me to "get over myself".

I don't know what is going to happen.

[mel4]

((((((((((((((((((((((((echoes)))))))))))))))))))))))

i know, hugs dont mean squat when life seems at it lowest. just remember, things can and will get better. please take care echoes. we're all here for you.
((((((((((((((((echoes))))))))))))))))))

[sorrel]

...as a card I have pinned up above my bed says...

"be gentle with yourself.... you just need some time to heal.."

we are here for you.........please avail yourself of the help and support that is at PC..........lots of us have been in similiar situations and came out at the other end eventually.......you can do this! love, pat

[(JD)]

I think the time to call your T is when you need him or her. The T agreed to help you right? What part of, let me take care of things myself and when I don't need you (the T) is when I'll talk to you, is in the agreement?

Sorry.

Patients often feel that their actions will scare a T off. The T understands feelings more than you do... and can help you in ways you can't think of and say things you can't realize on your own. Please call your T before it's out of your hands, and while the T can help you more easily. Sometimes a call or two can avert a crisis situation. Wouldn't that be best?

[RainbowFaerie]

Hey ECHOES,

I agree with Sky. Use your resources, that's what those folks are there for. Reaching out is so hard but you are so worth it. I know I struggled with some really bad depression this holiday season, and support is what got me through..support from my T and P-doc and great people like you.

(((ECHOES)))

RainbowFaerie

Thank you Sky, you touched on one of my greatest fears. That as I reveal myself and my needs to my T she will decide she can't help me or won't want to.

And sometimes I just don't know what to say. I know I feel awful and hopeless etc but I don't know what I would even say if I called her.

I see her Fri. We have guided imagery planned. I like it but it takes up so much of the hour... and I still want to put on a good front, that I'm doing ok, instead of owning up to how I've really been. I'm afraid she'll think I'm not trying.

RF, I hope you're feeling better. And thank you for your post here; it means a lot to me.

It means a lot to me anytime someone takes a moment to give a thought or two. Thats what I love about PC and the caring people here.

We all made it through another day. yay.

Here we go again.

ECHOES

[Boopers]

Oh Echoes,
Please be honest with your T. I mean, afterall, don't you think your T. knows you need him/her or you wouldn't have gotten with them in the first place. So, be honest and let them help you.
I wish you all the best and also keep coming on here and let us know how you are doing. It helps just to get things out.
Plus, we all care about you.
Take care of yourself and be good to yourself,
Linda

[RainbowFaerie]

I was thinking about something this morning as I ice my leg down for my MS shot.

Something that has been true in my own life:

Most of the time I can pass myself off as being very together. People that aren't extremely close to me would never guess all the stuff I've got going on. I have done TV interviews, radio spots, newspaper interviews, public speaking and the like.

But is that the real me? Partly, I guess. But the other part is when my moods are all over the place and my butt is falling off. It is so hard for me to open up to people on more than a surface level.

I remember last June being in the hospital on a high-dose steroid IV for my MS. I was so agitated, I couldn't sleep and I felt like I was going to fly apart. I broke down and called my then brand new T. I forced myself to reach out, even though my tendency is to isolate and withdraw. I was bawling because the massive steroids were making me so angry and depressed. She was wonderful and I felt so much better afterward.

My T and P-doc know if I didn't have a problem I wouldn't be there. ( I could sure use that money, LOL.) I am tired of pretending to be fine and then crying in emotional agony when no one is around because I am too proud/afraid/ whatever to let my not-so-pretty side show. I want to get better, and I am going to do whatever it takes to make that happen. This me is trying to get better, trying to get real and have some powerful growth.

You can too. You are a very special person! If your butt falls off, pick it up and call your T. Put it in a bag and go to your appointments. Pick up a phone and call your support system if you need to do that.

None of us has it all together. None of us. But if we don't risk being known, if we don't reach out we do not grow and change for the better. We all have a gift to share with the world, we all deserve happiness. We can choose a new day. And you can, too!

I hold you in my thoughts.

Hugs,
RF

honest self-disclosure is the key to getting well when we're in therapy...........ask to skip the imagery session and talk about all that is bothering you right now.......love, pat

[RainbowFaerie]

Hope everything is going okay for you today.

RF