[dexter]

i've just been anxious again about working. still angry and disappointed about my old job (although i know that isn't getting me anywhere) mostly because i just did another task for them from home and once again it brought up just huge anxiety.

mosltly i still just don't feel like i am any closer to being able to work at all. im depressed and in physical pain and unmotivated to do anything about either. I have been working very very very hard on the depression and still doing so only because i force myself to, mainly because i made the decision to fight it and i don't want to give up on that promise to myself. but i still do not believe that i will get anywhere. i believe i could if i had unlimited time to deal with this but nobody has that kind of time without life interfering of course.

i've had lots of good suggestions from here but i still just have so much trouble acting on any of them. it is likely that im just not ready yet but i can't pay the bills with that. we have been focusing on that in therapy and i've been trying things at home with just no results. the depression makes me unmotivated and the arthritis makes me afraid to even try.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[darkeyes]

I am at a loss for words, but wish you well, and I have been thinking about you a lot lately and sending you new energies

((((((((((((((((((( dexter )))))))))))))



"me"

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you ((((((((((((((((((((dexter))))))))))))))))))))

Take care,
Fuzzy

[the_link]

Hey Dexter,

Sorry that everything is not going so well. I have appreciated all the help that you have given me. It has really helped more than you know to be able to sit down and read the encouraging things you post. I wont tell you how to deal with depression since you have been doing it a lot longer than I have, but I will tell you to not give up. Stand strong,and count on everyone here for support. By the way, when were you at Carnegie? I was at Pitt in the early 90's.

Mike

[dexter]

I was at Carnegie Mellon U from 1979 to 1983. I was thinking about that again this morning. I left short of my degree because a friend was in serious trouble and needed help and I moved back home to help my family out too (i was going to help clean the house http://www.idexter.com

[Rapunzel]

Hi Dex,

Hang in there. You really can make it. You need one thing to hang onto so that you don't get washed downstream? How about this site? We need you here. I think once you get a grip on one thing, even something small, other things will show up that will give you a more secure grip, until you have weathered the storm, and things start changing for the better and you find that you have a firm grip on life once again.

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

</font color=orange>

[shakes]

Dexter,
I know that the fight is hard and long...god I know but as you probably know the hardest part sometimes is the fight against yourself. I can understand that you probably feel like the fight is not helping (physical pain so does not help) but you have to realize that just because you are choosing to fight against feeling depressed means that you are doing something good and helpful to yourself. Just think of how many people are out there that are not even dealing with their depression in any form and are letting it consume their lives. That is not happening to you. The fact that you can talk about it with others shows that.
I would miss you if you were not here. Your contributions are wonderful and have helped me so many times already.

Try to stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>