Use of Ecstasy to medicate severe depression

Hi, I have been clinically depressed for over 5 years. I sought help through mental health, but never receive any real of lasting help. I've been sort of self medicating myself with the drug ecstasy (MDMA) for the last 3 years or so. However, I hear one of the long term side effects of the drug is more depression. I pretty much feel sad and depressed as soon as the drug wears off, but while im on it, I feel fine. When I do XTC I find myself thinking that this is what I should feel like all the time. One bad side effect seems to be that I sleep only about an average of 2 hours per night and offen I go 3-5 days without sleep. Any suggestions? or any ideas of how I might get a legal drug that provides similar effects to the illicit drug ecstasy?

Oh yeah.. ps:

I've also heard, but I dont think it's really been confirmed that XTC causes problems with your serotonin and dopamine levels in the long term. This makes sense because it basically forces you to be very happy even when there's nothing you should be happy about. I'm sort of worried that I may have already damaged the part of my brain that handles serotonin and maybe that's why I find it so hard to get happy or even just not sad about anything. Anyways thx for listening.

Hello and welcome to the forums.

Self medicating is never a good idea whether through illegal drugs or with prescription drugs while not under the care of a doctor.

I think you realize that the xtc is not treating your problem, it is only covering it up while its effects last. What you need is to face and treat your depression, not hide it. XTC is nothing like treatment for depression, the anti-depressant medications do not make you feel good or feel happy, they fix a chemical imbalance that may exist in your brain that can keep you from every feeling happy "normally." This is what clinical depression is all about.

It is possible that you may need to face some things that are causing you to be depressed, counseling and therapy can help, or if the root of your problem is a chemical imbalance then medication along with therapy may be more effective. Note that therapy is required in both cases to help you learn coping skills, understand your depression, and recognize its triggers. Anti-depressants only allow these changes to take effect where they would otherwise be hindered by bad brain chemistry. This is quite a different thing then covering up the feelings of sadness with an artificial high.

To be treated you really need to be seen by a professional who can help determine what is going on and what treatment may be effective for you.

You don't say why you didn't feel the mental health community was not helping. It is possible that the psychiatrist and/or therapist you saw just did not have the personality nor the talent to help you. Sometimes it takes several tries to find the right doctors who can help. I would encourage you to try again.

It is also possible that they did not help you understand the way treatment for depression works. Unlike a medication that gives you a temporary "lift" anti-depressant medications take weeks to build up in the bloodstream. It can take 6 or 8 weeks to feel any effect from them, although sometimes you can start to feel the difference in 2 weeks. And the "change" is not a feeling of joy or happiness, what you will notice is that the regular things that used to make you happy (without the stimulation of drugs) will now begin to shine again and you will begin to feel able to pull yourself out of the depression finally. During this time, therapy will help you learn how to cope with the depression when it hits. In the beginning, these techniques may have no effect but as the medication begins to work they will start to be helpful.

You must also understand that there are many different medications now available for treatment of depression. Everyone reacts differently so while some may not be effective for you, with patience and a good doctor the correct drug and dosage can be found.

As for the long term side effects of the ecstacy, a doctor should be able to help you with that two, giving you professional opinion from what the medical community knows about it and taking it into account during therapy.

I am sorry I don't have a "quick fix" to offer to replace what you are taking now, but that really isn't the route to go if you truly want to get past this illness. The good news is that depression is much better understood now and a wider variety of treatments are now available.

Good luck and let us know how you are doing. This is a great place for continued support while you are dealing with this and can help you understand more about what is going on.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

My suggestion is to STOP self-medicating, especially with such a dangerous drug. You need to see a pdoc and add some talk therapy also, you can get "real lasting" help, if you follow the advice and possible medication as prescribed, if you weren't happy with your former mental health providers, I would suggest seeking a new one. You can get some referrals from a General Practitioner, local hospitals (many) have Behavioural Health departments that can direct you to a pdoc and/or therapist, you can also look in your phone book for the Mental Health department of your county.
For best treatment and outcome, you cannot "self-medicate", it just doesn't work long term, in fact it just makes things worse. Your sleeping problems is most likely due to the use of the drugs.
You may need a mood stabilizer, etc. that should be prescribed only by a good pdoc. and you need to follow up and keep all appointments for best results, it is a program one needs to stick with, and you will get better.
This is something that you need to work with and give as much time as needed, some of us need to be on mood stabilizers for life, and that is no big deal, people take meds for life with diabetes, heart and thyroid conditions, so this isn't any big problem, just need the proper and legal meds.
Just my 2 cents.
Best Wishes,
DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

i agree totally with the other posters.....you need to stop this drug now.......that stuff can kill you.......please seek professional help........from my own experiences....i have been on prozac for close to 10 years now.......it has helped numerous problems that i've had from ocd to depression.......and the "good" feeling stays with me.........

Hello,
I was crawling out of the woodwork to see what was going on here and this post got my attention. When I was much younger, early 20's, I used minute doses of LSD to self medicate depression. Now I know you are all going to jump on me for saying so, but it was very helpful. I took perhaps 1/10 or less of the psychedelic dose before bed and all that I felt was vivid dreaming. It bounced me out of severe suicidal depression quite reliably. Caveat: If I took the full dose, and I did a number of times, while depressed, it was like salting a wound - it was a hellish experience and very dangerous. My point is that is not always true the Phizer knows best. They are dabbling in chemistry just like Timothy Leary was. I ran my LSD experience by a psycho-pharmacist one time and he agreed that LSD in tiny doses could be therapeutic. I don't recall the pharmacology, but recall it was similar to what SSRIs do, but bigger and faster. I think a main factor behind many legitamacy psycho active drugs is that they are too easy to manufacture and therefore not profitable for drug manufacturers. Legality is absolutely not a sign of safety. Just a few years ago the so called major tranquilizers commonly used had a horrifying list of side effects, many permanent. Contrast them to what is known about smoking pot and you can easily see some striking contradictions in drug policy.

Bottom line, be careful with any chemical you put into your body regardless of the source. For several years I was on an antidepressant (name forgotten) that had an uncommon side effect of paresthesia. For me it was a neurotoxin and the effects of it mimicked multiple sclerosis. Not one doctor I saw about this ever made the connection and tentatively thought I had MS. I had to do my own research to discover this mostly unreported side effect. If I had continued to take the drug, as I was likely to do, I may have reached un-recovverable state of nerve damage. Do your homework and learn all you can about anything you ingest. Don't trust your doctor 100%, and don't trust the corner dealer either. In both cases their is reason to suspect their motives or those of the suppliers upstream from them to be money, not your health and happiness. And this goes for "food" as well as drugs.

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

I've been around a long time, experimented in the 70's too, bottom line no illegal drug is safe, especially supplied by some street person, pusher or whatever they call it now. And I want to add that though you seem to be against legal medication, it still by far has helped more people than illegal drug use has, sure there some meds that people have side effects to, one med may be more beneficial to one person than another and vise versa, but more people get better than not, when under a reputable doctor's care and follow all they need to do. Side effects by law are printed on MSDS's that does not mean all people taking that med will get all the side effects, some won't even have any, it is all for legal purposes just in case there are problems, I never said "Pfizer" knows best, or any manufacturer, but I must say I would sooner take a prescribed med, from clean laboratories than something concocted in some back room or garage (meth lab) that aren't even traceable if a person was having trouble with the med.
This is just my 2 cents, I do not expect you or anyone that prefers self-medication with illegal drugs to have to take "my 2 cents", but felt a need to speak up.
See, I have been down that route, it doesn't work, it hurts in the long run, it kills too, I've lost friends and friends that have lost kids to this sort of stuff, Ecstasy, Angel Dust, and 2 by the ultimate, heroin
I learned the hard way, but caught myself on time using amphetamines from some shady so-called weight control center, I knew it was bogus business but I followed them everytime they had to move their centers, after almost 2 years of the use of the stuff that made me feel "terrific" the reality kicked in, I was starting to depend on them, plus life things went wrong, not related to the drug but being on them made things worse, too long of a story and probably would put an insomniac to sleep, ha!ha!
In the perfect world, there would be no need for docs and meds. but unfortunately we need them in our not so perfect world, maybe for some pdocs and/or meds weren't the answer, but for thousands it works, making many lives more comfortable and puts many back to their oldselves.
Sorry, I got carried away here. . .
Best Wishes to y'all with this

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

Kv, nice to see you around.

Mary Alice

I have a friend that almost died from taking Estacy. It is not a good drug no matter how you look at it. I know that those stupid anti drug commercials have caused people to not believe anything they say but the ones about Estacy are true! It destroys the cells in your brain that regulate serotonin and other drugs that make you happy. The truth is if you look at a MRI or PET scan of a person's brain who uses Estacy even once the parts of it that regulate happy emotions show signs of weakness and destruction compared to people who have never done it.
Normally I am pretty liberal about some drugs and some levels of self medicating but I really really think this drug is a no no. Too much can go wrong the first time a person uses it. Anything that can kill you the first time depending on what is in it is pretty scary.
Just please think about it. I do not want to knock you because I know that everyone has their own way of coping but I really do not think this drug is the best way to do it.

Stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

I self-medicated with illegal drugs when I was very young. Although it seemed to help for a while, eventually, I crashed big time. Now I've been taking prozac for fifteen years. I wouldn't trade my prozac for anything. Best drug ever invented. Unfortunately, people who use drugs just want a quick fix. As in life, quick fixes just don't work in the long term. On the other hand I can understand people who have cancer using pot for the side effects. However, I believe that depression is caused by an altering of chemicals in the brain and the only drugs that will permanently correct those imbalances are anti-depressants. Having tried both ways I will definitely stay with my prozac and hope that you can find something similar in the way of an anti-depressant that will help you.