Not that anyone really gives a crap... but I will post this either way.

I have gone through a number of shrinks.

1) Dr C. Dr C has me locked up in the nut house for "my own saftey" against my will. Shortly after that - he found some bogus legalism to drop me as a client.

2) Dr B. Dr B was okay. I don't know if she really was the best - but it doesn't matter, because she moved 100+ miles away.

3) Dr V. Dr V was a bit of an odd duck. Wanted to electro shock on me. I was not too keen on this (because the doctors will openly admit they have no idea how electro shock actually helps anyone). Dr V took a job at Cornell.

4) Katie L. Katie was "assigned" to me. She was basically just reading from cue cards (?spelling). "okay you tried meds A, B, C, D. Time to try E". Gee not much confidence. I got a recommendation with another therapist to see Dr G.

5) Dr G. I finally found someone that I trusted. He is personable and alert to all my issues. Went the extra mile to make me feel comfortable. About 45 days after my first visit - I got a letter from his clinic - he took a new job (left to work for the VA).

6) Dr P. Dr P is awesome. I have been seeing Dr P since day one. BUT - a few months back she told me that she would no longer see me "until I get more regulated". So we agreed that I would seek other treatment before Dr P and I started up again.

.......

So, now I have to search for a new doctor. I did some research and there is not a lot to choose from (and my anxiety issues make it VERY hard to actually call to setup a new appointment). Add to the fact when you start with a new doctor - you can expect a 30-45 day wait before your first visit..... But, I chose one. And then yesterday I was talking to my DBT therapist (not a doctor - so not listed above) and she told me that the new doctor that I chose is a psychologist not a psychiatrist. So I even f___ed that up.

Now I have to start over again today. (and just to freak me out more - I have to call to cancel one appointment and then find a new person). **anxiety**

This is going to be one bad, bad, BAD day. I am really close to saying screw it.

Sorry you've had such rotten luck with doctors! Hopefully things improve with the next one

And please don't beat yourself up over making an appointment with the wrong person, we all make mistakes. We are only human after all.

Perhaps you could think of something to treat yourself with, once after phoning to cancel the first appointment. Then give yourself a bit of a break before looking for someone else, and then another treat of some kind once you have done that. Just a thought

funny you say "treat yourself"....

yesterday during my individual DBT therapy session - I had to confess that I self harmed AT the session location (big no no).

My "punishment" is that I have to do two forms of self-sooth or self-nurturing tasks this next week and I really have no freaking idea what that REALLY means?

Sorry - but my brain does not work like this.?.? So - am I supposed to go buy a new car? That is stupid.

I have no idea what I am going to do. MORE stress. Great. Makes me wish I could drive my car off a cliff (side note - no cliffs where I live).

[gayleggg]

Having to go through that many doctor's is very frustrating, I know. I lost count on how many I've gone through. Thankfully, I had a good one I had to leave because I moved and when I moved back 15 years later he was still praticing.

It can be really hard to pick that phone up. I have that trouble even just calling friends, so I can understanding your not wanting to go through that. Hopefully the next one will be a good one. Wishing you the best.

I see you've already posted a thread on self nurturing, so hopefully you will get answers there! I was thinking more along the lines of chocolate, or a new shirt, or watching your tv show. Something simple but something that also makes you feel a little better.

[herethennow]

Hoping you'll work your way up to the next one, and hope the next one will be good

I do understand your feeling, I'll be changing my shrinks soon.. in fact I change ever year because of their residency training. I hate that, but I can't afford better healthcare so I have to make do with this...

Do know that once you've made the call you've triumphed your way through

[Psykick]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

Not that anyone really gives a crap... but I will post this either way.

I have gone through a number of shrinks.

1) Dr C. Dr C has me locked up in the nut house for "my own saftey" against my will. Shortly after that - he found some bogus legalism to drop me as a client.

2) Dr B. Dr B was okay. I don't know if she really was the best - but it doesn't matter, because she moved 100+ miles away.

3) Dr V. Dr V was a bit of an odd duck. Wanted to electro shock on me. I was not too keen on this (because the doctors will openly admit they have no idea how electro shock actually helps anyone). Dr V took a job at Cornell.

4) Katie L. Katie was "assigned" to me. She was basically just reading from cue cards (?spelling). "okay you tried meds A, B, C, D. Time to try E". Gee not much confidence. I got a recommendation with another therapist to see Dr G.

5) Dr G. I finally found someone that I trusted. He is personable and alert to all my issues. Went the extra mile to make me feel comfortable. About 45 days after my first visit - I got a letter from his clinic - he took a new job (left to work for the VA).

6) Dr P. Dr P is awesome. I have been seeing Dr P since day one. BUT - a few months back she told me that she would no longer see me "until I get more regulated". So we agreed that I would seek other treatment before Dr P and I started up again.

.......

So, now I have to search for a new doctor. I did some research and there is not a lot to choose from (and my anxiety issues make it VERY hard to actually call to setup a new appointment). Add to the fact when you start with a new doctor - you can expect a 30-45 day wait before your first visit..... But, I chose one. And then yesterday I was talking to my DBT therapist (not a doctor - so not listed above) and she told me that the new doctor that I chose is a psychologist not a psychiatrist. So I even f___ed that up.

Now I have to start over again today. (and just to freak me out more - I have to call to cancel one appointment and then find a new person). **anxiety**

This is going to be one bad, bad, BAD day. I am really close to saying screw it.

Aww I'm sorry that your doctors aren't very understanding and supportive. I hope you'll have better luck. We're all here for you and we care.

well I made a call over my lunch hour to find a new psychiatrist... I was told that there is a shortage in the Green Bay area. And nobody is accepting new clients. The scheduler was nice enough to say she would ask to see if I could be put at the bottom of someones list.

So. I guess ZERO help for next few months.

And people wonder why I say - F*** IT. it will NEVER get better.

[Frankbtl]

Hi UM, It sounds so frustrating and disheartening to have been through that many shrinks and when you think "at last" (?) about one......they're gone or you have to start again. But there have to be good one's out there, with the "staying power" you need.
Just perseverance, perseverance, perseverance............I know it must seem like you've been doing just that forever, but it's got to be worth it when you hit on someone.
If you can just hold on tightly to the hope you felt with some of the others. You know you're capable of having/starting that sort of a relationship with someone good, its just about finding a person like that again in time.
Is there anyone in your DBT group who could recommend anyone though, even if it's a little bit of a travel, sometimes better finding someone from a recommendation than "out of the air". But if not then why settle for being at the bottom of someone's list? Could you instead ask to go at the bottom of a few peoples (plenty of people's??) lists and that way hopefully someone's going to become free a bit sooner??
And if it comes right down to it even a psychologist until you do find a shrink might be something, just a little something to fill the gap just a little??? And let's face it a good psychologist has to be better than some of the bad shrinks you've had, if you've still got someone to prescribe as well.
And, yes go for the self-care/self-nurturing as well. You may already be doing bits of that just on autopilot without even noticing or being able to appreciate it considering the way you're feeling can be so consuming (for anyone!!), but maybe if you take "timeout", plan it, focus on it, that may help just a little- hopefully some of the things in your other thread will stand out just a little as things you could give a try at???
I know it must seem like you've so much weighing on you right now though, and it must be really hard coping with everything coming at you, but just do as much as you can. And doesn't matter so much how long it takes as to do whatever. Just give yourself that space to feel a little more in control of everything going on, you are the priority in all of this.
And never be hesitant in asking for more help from anyone, we just for starters really want to help as much as we can.
And by the way, NO I didn't forget the first bit of your thread!! As to "Not that anyone really gives a crap..." Just for starters (!!) I give a crap!!! You matter!! You matter big time!!!
Alison

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

well I made a call over my lunch hour to find a new psychiatrist... I was told that there is a shortage in the Green Bay area. And nobody is accepting new clients. The scheduler was nice enough to say she would ask to see if I could be put at the bottom of someones list.

So. I guess ZERO help for next few months.

And people wonder why I say - F*** IT. it will NEVER get better.

I agree with the prev poster - if youre already in a DBT group, that should give you entree. Its not like youre coming in cold (little lambeau field joke there, sorry :hug). It IS harder to find a pdoc in the summer. No universities nearby?

My DBT is separate from any psychiatrist - that organization just does DBT (and help with adoptions)... "therapists" - not full fledged med doctors.

And until someone figures out my meds - I remain pretty volatile.

But thanks

[sph123]

I am going through pretty much the same exact thing. I actually came on today to post something about how frustrated I am with looking for a new pdoc. I actually do have a pdoc at the moment, but I am with a resident and they are changing over right now and it's like not having a doctor at all.

But more than that, I have gone through the same issues you have -- my doctor had me locked up against my will for my own "safety," other ones have been basically been reading from a cue card, and so on.

Apparently the need for pdocs goes up in the summer, so yeah, I have to wait like 4-6 weeks before I can even see anyone new. I need a new drug regimen -- now.

I don't think I have ever been so angry about doctors before.

Oh, and it is so exhausting picking up the phone to call around. I have anxiety as well.

UPDATE to my update.............

My wife was nice enough to call my old psychiatrist office (anxiety prevents me from doing this stuff). They will have someone work with me until we can find a real psychiatrist. Maybe even some anxiety meds.

MUCH better news.

** and James takes one step back from the ledge **

[Frankbtl]

Hey James, really good news!!! And that's the one you got on with, right??!!
I'd say that was worth at least ten steps back from the ledge!!
Alison

[SeekerOfLife]

Way to go, James! So glad for you! Some extra hope--yeah, we can all use that. So proud of you! Hang in there, friend.