[Yogurtz]

As long as I can remember it has seemed like everything around me – school, life, family, hobbies, etc. – has reflected that I am a failure, and that continues to be the most clear explanation for my lack of success in anything.

Now, if I am to refrain from referring to myself as a failure, as my therapist, in all her infinite wisdom, says I should, what other explanation exists for my continued lack of success in life?

The first significant failure of my life since I turned 18 (for the sake of length, I’ll cap the list of failures off there) was my inability to succeed in achieving a higher education, notwithstanding my alleged intelligence.

What did I do instead? I went to truck driving school to obtain a CDL because I have been told I am a good driver. How’d that go? I failed it twice – the ONLY student to fail in the school –*and after I completed that I was in a car accident with my car, making my driver safety rating -7 (let me emphasize that…NEGATIVE SEVEN).

Or how about chess. How is it that I can play chess everyday (yes, everyday!), I have studied it, I have books on the subject, etc., but I still can’t win against people that don’t play it regularly at all?

The way it seems to me is that I have failed at virtually everything important in my life, so, please, tell me what other explanations exist for this other than that I am a failure?

[pisces22]

I'm sorry you feel this way. You're not alone. I honestly can't name one big thing I've accomplished in my life. I guess we have to focus on smaller accomplishments like getting up in the morning and dealing with life once again, finishing work or making someone smile.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Feel a bit like a failure, myself. Screwed up school. Screwed up college. Can't work. The one and only job interview I managed to crawl to, I screwed up and looked like an IDIOT. Screwed up in relationships. (not that we're all perfect, there) 'n so on.

There are good things. Even the small things. Stop thinking about all those big, in-your-face depressing things.

If I analyze--say--my "failing" school... what do I have? Well, let's see...

Dealing with ... stuff at home - check.
Mental health problems - check.
Repeatedly physically and verbally bullied - check.
Still dealing with being kicked out at 12 years old, by mother, on my birthday - check.
Massively screwed up in the head - check
Friend who was a bad influence - check.

Did I really fail? Was it really ME that failed? AFTER school, I taught myself to be a relatively decent guitarist. AFTER school, I taught myself to speak German. AFTER school, I took a stab at Japanese for a while. AFTER school I learned a lot about mental health. AFTER school I massively improved my English. (super tired, so this won't reflect that xD) AFTER school I learned some fitness stuff and started getting into that. AFTER school I learned to be pretty damn good with computer hardware and software. AFTER school I taught myself how to properly touch-type. You get the idea.

Think about these failures you mention. What REALLY happened?

[birdpumpkin]

Don't be so hard on yourself Yogurtz - but I do understand how you feel. I'm the same. I quit so many things I wish I hadn't now. My life could've been so different. After I got out of school I took a year off, went to college a year and quit, then hung out at my parents doing nothing but writing pen-pals for 7 years. Finally got a job, eventually married but have no friends otherwise but online people. Quit my job when I had my son and wish so much I'd kept it now. I'm scared of everything and won't even drive across a bridge nearby because it's larger and busier than the one there that was replaced. I couldn't get my mom who just got out of the hospital a taco salad today because I'm too afraid to go across that bridge to go to Taco Bell. Sometimes I feel like I'm the biggest loser. I've don't nothing with my life. I made great grades in school. The guidance counselor said I could be anything I wanted to be. Was on the Dean's List both semesters of college that I went. But I quit because I was afraid of speech class and having to do presentations. Now here I am... Battling anxiety daily, doing nothing with myself but taking care of my family and pets. I suppose that's a little something but feel I could be/do so much more. I totally feel I have no purpose being here really. Have no idea what it would be. I'm just a space waster really... =/

[regretful]

It's the darn depression that does this...even finding what others would perceive as success are interpreted as "failure" through the eyes of a depressed person. If others were to look at me, they might think "success" ~ married, one fantastic child, a house, a business, an advanced degree ~ but all I see is Failure with the capital F emphasized. I don't quite know how to shake that feeling, so I find something to grasp on to each day. If I can do that, then I might be able to keep going...but it's tough. You certainly have some kindred spirits here, and as a wiser person than me once said, failure is an event, not a person. I try to keep that thought in my mind, especially at times like this when all I see is failure...

Originally Posted by Yogurtz

As long as I can remember it has seemed like everything around me – school, life, family, hobbies, etc. – has reflected that I am a failure, and that continues to be the most clear explanation for my lack of success in anything.

Now, if I am to refrain from referring to myself as a failure, as my therapist, in all her infinite wisdom, says I should, what other explanation exists for my continued lack of success in life?

The first significant failure of my life since I turned 18 (for the sake of length, I’ll cap the list of failures off there) was my inability to succeed in achieving a higher education, notwithstanding my alleged intelligence.

What did I do instead? I went to truck driving school to obtain a CDL because I have been told I am a good driver. How’d that go? I failed it twice – the ONLY student to fail in the school –*and after I completed that I was in a car accident with my car, making my driver safety rating -7 (let me emphasize that…NEGATIVE SEVEN).

Or how about chess. How is it that I can play chess everyday (yes, everyday!), I have studied it, I have books on the subject, etc., but I still can’t win against people that don’t play it regularly at all?

The way it seems to me is that I have failed at virtually everything important in my life, so, please, tell me what other explanations exist for this other than that I am a failure?

Just some thoughts here. Trying the wrong things? You're good with history, geography, and insects. Oh and have some talent for photography. I don't know if those are financially rewarding or personally gratifying but they do show you aren't a failure. I played guitar when I was young. I wasn't very good at it... just wanted it. Later I played drums and it felt like I was born knowing how to play. I eventually became able to earn a living at it. So.
Also oddly enough I took a break from percussion once and repaired a broken guitar that belong to my brother. I started playing and i came so easy this time. If there's a point there in the broken guitar story it's that life is strange and hard to comprehend sometimes

[monkeybruv]

I bet the reason for a lot of those 'failures' was your depression. There are things that I was always able to do , or was good at before that since my depression I have failed epically at. I've come to realise that it's a vicious cycle. The more I feel like a failure and am distracted with anxiety and beating myself, the more my brain fails to function and I make stupid mistakes. Since I've started giving myself a break, I've been a lot more aware of stuff outside my head and a lot less incompetent! :L Since my depression I've stopped being able to do pirouettes in ballet, tumble turns in water, ride a bike, talk in public...when your head is in the game and you tell yourself you can't do something, you won't be able to do it. And I know simply realising it's in your head just makes it worse, as you can't change the way you think. So what you need to do is give up the struggle and feel pleased with what little you can do while feeling like this. In time, you'll begin to feel more calm and confident and have a clearer mind, and suddenly everything will be a lot easier.