[lark265]

wow.....just feeling very bad right now.....thinking maybe writing (reaching out?) could help.....anybody else ever feel like this? like very alone......like your mental issues cannot be discussed - I mean that it seems like IT'S MY FAULT that I feel this way (basically I just can't cope well with life - the demands, the expectations).....and because of that, I don't deserve assistance....it must have been like alcoholism was 200 years ago, before AA - like it's a shameful thing and thusly you need to fix it yourself - the shame.......so now I don't know where to turn.....I know I need help because of the amazing pain of dealing with each day.....and that's where my occasional thoughts of ending it come from (though I don't have a plan and don't think I would actually do it).......I remember back in the 80's when I was in a psych ward, I felt VALIDATED.....things were much different back then I guess......there was money for mental health care....the main thing about it was that I had found a community.....that was really important for me.....to find a place where I didn't have to feel ashamed.....you can't get better if you can't accept you have a problem......I guess my wife is involved in this - we are separated but her attitude has always been one of: "Come on, you're OK.....my husband CAN'T have a mental illness - so get over it"........wow, that hurts.......OK, I'm sorry - I know I"m just rambling here.......that's enough

[HuxleysParadox]

I can kind of understand your feelings. It's hard looking at people function, and knowing HOW to function.. but not being able to.

[Altered Moment]

You can find a community of understanding people here. We don't judge and know exactly how you feel believe it or not. We go through the same things. I think, while the stigma is still really bad, it is much better than it used to be. There is help out there and no shame in reaching out to it.

[kjv2acts]

The thing about depression is it's very isolating. I don't want to keep saying to my friend or my mom that I'm blue or scared or lazy, so I stop calling them. They call me, I don't want to answer, so it takes on a life of its own and then I am isolated. Depression + Social Anxiety (SAD) + General Anxiety (GAD) + embarrassment = Agoraphobia. You do see others as functioning while they're "sad" and then you kick yourself even more. I'm not working now, and my house should be spotless but it is far from it. When all of these issues were manageable, I worked, I came home to raise my girls, I kept a clean house and everything moved along. I was (self-described) manic for years. Now I sit up on the side of the bed, planning to accomplish something and I freeze: I am completely paralyzed by all of it.

Let me tell you. After spending some time reading, replying or chatting (my first experience with chatting) here, I often feel able to get up and do one thing, and one is more than I did yesterday. Then I can call my mom and talk about other things, and that is more than I did yesterday. Slowly, albeit with set-backs, it might be a better day than yesterday.

You guys help me as much as ten years' worth of meds.

(((((Hugs))))) to everyone who supports me here, and to everyone I try to support.

[BlueMoonBlueEarth]

I'm sorry that you feel so down. Yes, writing on social support sites does help, according to John Grohol. Receiving support and compassion from fellow sufferers of depression should help you walk the road of healing.

Depression does make one feel all alone, without a friend or acquaintance in the world. It's a horrible feeling that I can relate to. The good news is that PsychCentral is full of caring and understanding people who can relate to your suffering. It is good that you have expressed your feelings on this site.

Guilt is a common symptom of depression that can lead to insecurity and refusal to seek help. It's one of the worst emotions anybody can feel, in my opinion. I can also relate to your feelings of guilt; I too think it's all my own fault I'm stuck in the place I am. Try to remember that guilt is like a negative voice inside your head, trying to get you down, and don't listen to it.

I'm sorry that your wife doesn't understand how you feel. It just goes to show how large the stigma associated with mental illness really is. The next time she tells you to get over it, try asking her "If I had cancer or a cardiovascular disease, would you tell me to get over that?"

I hope you get the help you need and find inner peace. Good luck.

[JennyUK]

Yes, I know what you mean. I've suffered so much from low self esteem because of my problems. Just today I found myself thinking 'why do I have to be like this, why can't I just be normal'.

Where I live we have access to free CBT courses, which have helped a lot. The 'Time to change' campaign which is about opening up about mental health problems and ending stigma has helped me a lot too.

But still I get days where I'm just so f***ing annoyed with myself.

I missed my pills last night, which just goes to show that helpful as the CBT is, I do rely on them to keep me feeling okay.

I also know what you mean about feeling validated. I have had depression and anxiety on and off all my life, but only in the last couple of years got the help that I need. And having somebody say yes there is something wrong with you, yes it's real, and yes here is help for you, makes a massive difference.

[Davyblues]

Depression needs positive people you have to keep away from negatives and people who constantly complain over nothing and argue for arguings sake. Winning £10,000 would give them cause to complain because it's just what the government takes off them in taxes. Complaining on here is different it is exactly what we need to vent frustration in times of need but for depressed people to be around unpositive and negative individuals on a daily basis who moan and depress us more is detrimental to a successful recovery.
Dogs = success :-)
People who bring you down and people who try to see you sad by moaning so much they get to you have to be distanced.

Sorry but it's true positive people are successful even if they don't feel positive.
Do you think a famous Business entrepreneur says today I am going to go meet that guy who thinks my next money making idea is a rubbish one. Or the guy who said it's a long shot but if we market it right and advertise it through the right channels and work hard we might well fail but if we do fail then every failure will be a step closer to making it a success?
Acting positive even when you don't feel it attracts positive responses and belief from people who think alike and can help us get out of the hole we sink into
Goodluck



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk