[pisces22]

I'm in my room by myself and I feel very lonely. I keep refreshing my feed and notifications on here but there's nothing popping up. I don't have anyone to talk to but even if I did I don't know what we'd talk about to make me feel better. I can't stay entertained and I feel anxious and depressed. I wish I could talk to my therapist through email or text but they don't let patients have any form of contact with their therapists outside of their sessions. It's very frustrating.

This is miserable. When will it end?

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[regretful]

Depression is a lonely illness, isn't it? I'm at a small office where three of my employees work; but I feel very disconnected from them and this business. I had breakfast with a friend of mine; it was a struggle to talk with him about anything. I hope that even one reply to your post helps (I know that when I get replies to threads that I start I feel a little less alone in all of this)...

[pisces22]

Originally Posted by regretful

Depression is a lonely illness, isn't it? I'm at a small office where three of my employees work; but I feel very disconnected from them and this business. I had breakfast with a friend of mine; it was a struggle to talk with him about anything. I hope that even one reply to your post helps (I know that when I get replies to threads that I start I feel a little less alone in all of this)...

This is why I often post here because sometimes I get a reply. It helps a little. I feel like sadness and anxiety are
eating me alive. :/

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[regretful]

When I was taking lexapro the anxiety was horrible. I felt like I wanted to get out of my own skin. Though medications have great use, they have been nothing but a bag of side-effects for me...long story longer...I stopped taking medication. Though the anxiety is not there, the immense sadness, lonley days, and emptiness are all around. Glad you're staying connected here, though. This site and these forums helped me once before, and I'm hoping for that again...

[pisces22]

I don't even know what I need. I've never taken meds for anxiety or depression. I'm only seeing a therapist but sometimes I wish I was on meds. I take trazodone for sleep but it can also help with anxiety and depression and I feel like it's making me more anxious. I have this horrible fear that I can not shake off and that causes my depression I feel. I don't know what to do. I'm just counting down the days until I can see my therapist and doctor again. The days seem to be going by too fast yet so slow. Why does it feel so bad to be alive.

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[lizzyjb]

I am alone most of the day in a rural area far away friends or family. I'm happy when I talk then but I can't do it all the time. I'm always nervous, worried about future and can't stop my mind. Most of time I'm alone waste the time crying, laying in the sofa trying to hide me of the sun. I'm only comfortable when it's raining or at night, don't know why.
I can't tell nobody how I feel, how I'm scared about the future.
Because everybody look at me as an alien.
Yeah, depression is so horrible and I feel completely alone and ununderstanded.

[regretful]

As for medications, they did help me, tremendously, twice before in my life. The very first time I took lexapro, it worked like a champ. Fast-forward a year and a half later, then cymbalta worked well. My problem with both of them was that they made me gain weight and probably, esp in the case of cymbalta, made me a bit manic. I do hope that the therapy that you are in is useful.

With respect to your last question, I don't know why it feels so bad. Someone once told me that depressed people are more "in tune" with existence and therefore feel things deeper...I'm not so sure about that. I have concluded that it feels bad to be alive when you're depressed, but when you're not depressed, it's not so bad...

[Fuzzybear]

[pisces22]

Originally Posted by lizzyjb

I am alone most of the day in a rural area far away friends or family. I'm happy when I talk then but I can't do it all the time. I'm always nervous, worried about future and can't stop my mind. Most of time I'm alone waste the time crying, laying in the sofa trying to hide me of the sun. I'm only comfortable when it's raining or at night, don't know why.
I can't tell nobody how I feel, how I'm scared about the future.
Because everybody look at me as an alien.
Yeah, depression is so horrible and I feel completely alone and ununderstanded.

my whole family is here at home and I have a lot of neighbors but I still feel alone for some reason. Mostly because I can't talk to my family about my issues. I'm also worried a lot about the future and can't stop thinking about it.

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[pisces22]

Originally Posted by regretful

With respect to your last question, I don't know why it feels so bad. Someone once told me that depressed people are more "in tune" with existence and therefore feel things deeper...I'm not so sure about that. I have concluded that it feels bad to be alive when you're depressed, but when you're not depressed, it's not so bad...

Yes, that's how I feel like I'm in in tune with existence and I feel things in a deeper level. Very accurate.

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[lizzyjb]

Yeah, my mind never stops. I'm hoping that prozac starts to do his magic soon because benzodiacepin doesn't works. I'm with it for two weeks and it's loosing effects. Can't sleep, anxious again, crying or shivering all time...
And the worst, I can't go out of my home. Every time I go out feel worse and all that I want is go back home. I can't go for a walk or do the shopping, even take the dog out make me feel anxious. Only feel safe at home.
Too many issues at the same time and I can't deal with due to this f**** anxiety disorder.
I can't tell my family or hubby or friends what's on my mind. That's the reason why I feel so much lonely.
Fisical loneliness because no one is near, mental loneliness because no one understands. I don't know what is worse.

[pisces22]

Sometimes going out helps and sometimes it doesn't. Yesterday I was out and I just wanted to come back home. I think mental loneliness is worse. I hope Prozac starts to work!

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[waggiedog]

Hello everybody and thanks for opening up to each other. That's exactly what we need to do, listen and support each other. I suffer suicidal depressions too, being in~patient too many times and have never cracked how NOT to be a slave to depression. My depressions is caused by BPD but is exactly the same as yours. Yes, it's a very very lonely place to be in, that dark horrible pit of despair of which you feel you'll never get out of. I too take to my bed for 22 hours a day, hide from the world and take my dear doggie for her walk at night only. I too am EXTREMELY WORRIED about the furture, infact more than worried, I have serious intrusive compulsive obsessive thoughts which won't leave me alone. I'm taking meds for this as I was waking up during the night with panic attacks ~ awful. Meds def DO help with my OCD thinking, and the depression. I'm also at present on a de~tox/re~hab for addiction to alcohol and drugs, it's going well but for how long????? I've suffered depression and severe eating disorders for the last 33 years, so YES, I really do understand how you all feel. Pisces and others on this thread................You are NOT alone. HUGS.

[regretful]

It is good that we open up to each other here. I"m sorry, waggiedog, that you are so worried. Glad to read that you're going along well in detox and rehab. Thanks for your reply too in helping us to feel a little less alone, even if just for a minute...