In The Dark Shadow Land

Nothing... nothing to make me feel stronger... Crying... Heavy head... Astray... Gone... Meaningless... Strange... Big time loser... No power left in my body... I wish I could escape from it all... leave it all behind... Numb feelings... Empty... Hollow.... Please- let me go! Who am I? Only a creature unknown to man... an outsider looking in... No more... please!

((((((((((((((((( Nina ))))))))))))))))

You are strong and you are very valuable!
Be safe hon,
Fuzzy

((((((((((((((poetrylover))))))))))))))

My special educationist has just left after being here for 2 ½ hour. I just have no power left... She said I'm in a deep depression.
I hate being me! My mind's is spinning around in a sticky mess of thoughts, all the time. I can't stand it! I don't feel like doing one single thing. I'm angry... shouting... because I've had enough... Oh, I'm horrible!

Who am I? I don't know! I always try to please others... I know it doesn't show on the outside... in my behaviour... that I've got Aspergers. Inside I'm fighting all the time! It feels like unless I'm the happy person on the outside... helping others... I'm forgotten about... useless. I'm not only the mother of a child with Asperger... I'm a person in distress- myself. I haven't got the time or power to see to ME.
I feel like a bad mother not being able to do everything on my own. I feel such pressure being the only one that really can reach our son. It feels good and bad at the same time.

I don't know how to manage to get back on my feet again...

Thanks for caring, Fuzzy and jacq10!!!!!!!!

(((((((((((((nina)))))))))))
hide behind smiles of pain
your fighting your real self
your pain is felt over many seas
im feeling it right now
my tears are flowing
for a distressed friend
wishing i knew the words
to help you find your feet
horrible !!! far from it
wonderful is the word id use
i may sound bad but it must be said
the people you help here
you do a wonderful thing
but at this time think about yourself
save your energy to fight
save your energy to find your feet

we will be here for you as you have been there for us
nina you mean to much to a lot of people to give up
when i was feeling low and in that dark place
someone told me to think about my loved ones
and im telling you the same, but i do remind you,
that person was you.........you helped me. i hope i can repay that

take care nina, your worth more then you think at the moment
your friend xox
{{{{{{{{{{((((((((((poetrylover))))))))))}}}}}}}}}}

Oh Nina,

My heart breaks for you. Please fight this. It will take everything you have inside but you can do it.
You don't realize it right now, but you are a strong person.
Dig deep. It's there.
Are you on any meds? I do hope so as if you find the right ones, they can help tremendously.
No, you are not a bad mother. Depression will make you feel like that.
It will make you feel like you are worthless. But, you aren't.
You are very valuable. To your son, to your family and to us.
Nina, sweetie, please keep trying.
We really care about you.
Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
I care,
Hugs,
Boopers

Oh Nina, I wish I had a magic wand to make all of your tears, fears, sadness, all the things that are making you sad inside. I know that we all say she will be alright... that is what we want for you.... it is easy for us in the outside world to say....we do not have to live your life... we can not walk in your shoes.... only our own...... some days it is not easy for us....Know that you are loved... by so many......or at least by me...

nina..i am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time.....i know sometimes you don't feel like talking but when you do....i'm here to listen

((((((((((((( Dec )))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((( Boopers )))))))))))))
(((((((((((( Julia )))))))))))))))
((((((((((( Altheia )))))))))))))

Thank you!

((((((((((((Nina))))))))))))))))



I'm so very sorry you're feeling like this right now.

Anything I can do to help ... Please PM me. I care about you my friend.