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#1
Jul 13, 2014, 10:31 AM
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I have been suffering with depression since I was a teen but was not diagnosed until my mid twenties. It has been a constant roller coaster of emotions leading to bad decisions,bad relationships,and job loss. I just thought there was a flaw in me that I could never do anything correctly. I then got married and had three beautiful children. Things got really tough in 2010. I found myself jobless and my husband had to go back to his country and wait for resident status all the while I was 5 months pregnant with two little children in toe. My sister and father gave us a one way ticket to my husbands country. I was scared with no money. After three months my Aunte called and asked me if I wanted to come home. So we left my husband not knowing if the government would grant him residency and I came back to my home town. I had my third son alone in the hospital because my Aunte had to watch the other two children. After the birth of my son I enrolled my oldest in school and was able to rent a small house and soon after my husband came home. All he could do was complain about where we lived. Since then he has moved to another state to find work and several times moved back because he was unsuccessful. After all I have been through with him he says things to me that I would say is verbal abuse. He likes to make jokes about my body and about how lazy I am among other things. He doesn't understand depression and what it does to people. He seems to hone in on when I am really down and make it worse. All of these things have made it hard to be a mother and wife. Lately I feel like I am not living any kind of a life. It's been hard just to get up and push myself to go to work. I am on medication and I know it's not working well so I have made another doc apt at the free clinic. Being uninsured has made it very hard to find help. I know I need a theripst, but that to too far out of reach. I would appreciate if someone could help with some insight.
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 kaliope
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#2
Jul 13, 2014, 03:44 PM
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hi beehugger
I am sorry that you are struggling so much right now. I hope that you can get medication that helps when you go to the clinic. do you not qualify for free insurance under obamacare? it does not sound like your husband is being very supportive in any way and this is only making your depression worse. have you talked to him about this? has your depression been better the times he has been away from home and you have been on your own? nobody needs to be abused. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome 
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#3
Jul 13, 2014, 03:55 PM
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Hello Beehugger, sorry to hear you going through so much. When I was married and going through horrific depression I found out after the divorce that my ex had been going through terrible depression also. I was so wrapped up in my own misery it was hard to see other's troubles. My children, wife, and the rest of my family suffered. This might not be the case with you so don't get upset, it's just something to consider. Best of luck to you okay? Take care and I'll be rooting for you.
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#4
Jul 13, 2014, 04:06 PM
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Have you applied for medicaid?
A change in meds will hopefully work. If not you try another one. I suffered pretty bad depression the whole time my daughter was growing up. It robbed her to a large degree of the father she needed. Today she is 21 and we have an excellent relationship. I know she has scars though. All we can do is the best we can and keep on trying.
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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#5
Jul 13, 2014, 05:21 PM
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Quote:
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| James511
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 James511
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#6
Jul 13, 2014, 05:37 PM
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#7
Jul 13, 2014, 05:45 PM
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#8
Jul 13, 2014, 08:19 PM
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My goodness you have been thru so much. And with three small children to raise and so much responsibility. I applaud you for keeping it together so well. It is a shame that your husband seems to be verbally, emotionally abusive. Perhaps he needs counseling too, but it's hard to make another person submit to that. I am not one to tell you what to do in this situation but I wish you the best. Keep posting to us. We care about you.
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#9
Jul 13, 2014, 08:41 PM
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I'm separated with 2 kids 3 & 5. My depression makes it very hard to live a normal life and be a good father (which I think I'm not) and that my kids don't like or respect me. Sorry for rambling on. I hope you feel better and -hug-
__________________
Major Depression Disorder w/ Suicidal Ideologies Rx: Prozac 90mgs daily Seroquel 300mgs at night Restoril 30mgs at night Adderall 10mgs daily Klonopin 1mg ×2 Daily |
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