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Old Jul 13, 2014, 10:31 AM
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Beehugger Beehugger is offline
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I have been suffering with depression since I was a teen but was not diagnosed until my mid twenties. It has been a constant roller coaster of emotions leading to bad decisions,bad relationships,and job loss. I just thought there was a flaw in me that I could never do anything correctly. I then got married and had three beautiful children. Things got really tough in 2010. I found myself jobless and my husband had to go back to his country and wait for resident status all the while I was 5 months pregnant with two little children in toe. My sister and father gave us a one way ticket to my husbands country. I was scared with no money. After three months my Aunte called and asked me if I wanted to come home. So we left my husband not knowing if the government would grant him residency and I came back to my home town. I had my third son alone in the hospital because my Aunte had to watch the other two children. After the birth of my son I enrolled my oldest in school and was able to rent a small house and soon after my husband came home. All he could do was complain about where we lived. Since then he has moved to another state to find work and several times moved back because he was unsuccessful. After all I have been through with him he says things to me that I would say is verbal abuse. He likes to make jokes about my body and about how lazy I am among other things. He doesn't understand depression and what it does to people. He seems to hone in on when I am really down and make it worse. All of these things have made it hard to be a mother and wife. Lately I feel like I am not living any kind of a life. It's been hard just to get up and push myself to go to work. I am on medication and I know it's not working well so I have made another doc apt at the free clinic. Being uninsured has made it very hard to find help. I know I need a theripst, but that to too far out of reach. I would appreciate if someone could help with some insight.
Hugs from:
kaliope

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  #2  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 03:44 PM
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kaliope kaliope is offline
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hi beehugger
I am sorry that you are struggling so much right now. I hope that you can get medication that helps when you go to the clinic. do you not qualify for free insurance under obamacare? it does not sound like your husband is being very supportive in any way and this is only making your depression worse. have you talked to him about this? has your depression been better the times he has been away from home and you have been on your own? nobody needs to be abused. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome
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  #3  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 03:55 PM
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James511 James511 is offline
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Hello Beehugger, sorry to hear you going through so much. When I was married and going through horrific depression I found out after the divorce that my ex had been going through terrible depression also. I was so wrapped up in my own misery it was hard to see other's troubles. My children, wife, and the rest of my family suffered. This might not be the case with you so don't get upset, it's just something to consider. Best of luck to you okay? Take care and I'll be rooting for you.
  #4  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 04:06 PM
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Altered Moment Altered Moment is offline
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Have you applied for medicaid?

A change in meds will hopefully work. If not you try another one. I suffered pretty bad depression the whole time my daughter was growing up. It robbed her to a large degree of the father she needed. Today she is 21 and we have an excellent relationship. I know she has scars though.

All we can do is the best we can and keep on trying.
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  #5  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 05:21 PM
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Beehugger Beehugger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James511 View Post
Hello Beehugger, sorry to hear you going through so much. When I was married and going through horrific depression I found out after the divorce that my ex had been going through terrible depression also. I was so wrapped up in my own misery it was hard to see other's troubles. My children, wife, and the rest of my family suffered. This might not be the case with you so don't get upset, it's just something to consider. Best of luck to you okay? Take care and I'll be rooting for you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It very well could be the case that my family is suffering and I can not see it. It's definitely hard to wade through my own feelings to get to anyone else's feelings. There are days of clarity but there are more days I don't want anything to do with my husband. I have struggled with the thought that maybe we should devorce and maybe this anger I have toward him is all in my mind. Did it get better or worse for you when you divorced? Did it help you gain clarity? Our children are still so small and that to adds stress. Do you have any advice?
Hugs from:
James511
Thanks for this!
James511
  #6  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 05:37 PM
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Beehugger Beehugger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaliope View Post
hi beehugger
I am sorry that you are struggling so much right now. I hope that you can get medication that helps when you go to the clinic. do you not qualify for free insurance under obamacare? it does not sound like your husband is being very supportive in any way and this is only making your depression worse. have you talked to him about this? has your depression been better the times he has been away from home and you have been on your own? nobody needs to be abused. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome
Thank you for responding. When my husband is not home I feel free to go and visit friends and go where I please. It's hard because I am alone with three children under 8 years old. When he is home he doesn't want me to see my friends, he is never interested in what I like or want. It gets lonely when you don't have anyone to talk to about what interests you. Don't get me wrong he watchs the kids and helps out around the house but when it comes to me he has no interest in what I think or what I do. It's just really frustrating. Yes I do qualify for Obama care and I have been approved but have not received any kind of information or card. I know I need to call and find out but lately it's a goal I just can't reach and my husband will not help. Everything is always on my shoulders because he is from another country. He is not well educated so I have no one to blame but myself for my choice. All I am doing right now is trying to feel good enough to gain some since of reality again.
  #7  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 05:45 PM
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Beehugger Beehugger is offline
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Location: West Virginia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zinco14532323 View Post
Have you applied for medicaid?

A change in meds will hopefully work. If not you try another one. I suffered pretty bad depression the whole time my daughter was growing up. It robbed her to a large degree of the father she needed. Today she is 21 and we have an excellent relationship. I know she has scars though.

All we can do is the best we can and keep on trying.
Thank you so much for your response. I have applied for health care and it is taking a long time. Plus I just don't have the energy to persue it. I will keep dialing the meds until I find the right one. It's just a struggle when they aren't working but I still have to keep up with life. That's where I am stuck.
  #8  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 08:19 PM
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waterknob1234 waterknob1234 is offline
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My goodness you have been thru so much. And with three small children to raise and so much responsibility. I applaud you for keeping it together so well. It is a shame that your husband seems to be verbally, emotionally abusive. Perhaps he needs counseling too, but it's hard to make another person submit to that. I am not one to tell you what to do in this situation but I wish you the best. Keep posting to us. We care about you.
  #9  
Old Jul 13, 2014, 08:41 PM
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Joey32225 Joey32225 is offline
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Location: Florida U.S.
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I'm separated with 2 kids 3 & 5. My depression makes it very hard to live a normal life and be a good father (which I think I'm not) and that my kids don't like or respect me. Sorry for rambling on. I hope you feel better and -hug-
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