What would you say about me?

I'm in my sophmore year in high school, so my parents are stressing my grades and keeping them high for colleges to look at.

But, ever since 7th grade, when my grandmother died, I've been severely depressed to the point I've self-injured myself during my 8th-9th grade year. I've just about failed almost every year and class, but somehow managed to come through. But this year I've already failed a History class were I need to go to summer school.

I try so hard, and my parents don't understand that. I'm always sad, most of the time without even a problem. I felt bad so I told my mom about my self-mutilation problem later in my 8th grade year. She didn't really seem to care much for me to get help.

I can love life for a day, then hate it for a week or so. I've broken so many phones from me being mad over things

I want help. I don't want to mess the rest of my 2 years in highschool to go to waste because I never got help.

It's hard dealing with everything. Grades, parents, friends (which I have none...besides a boyfriend), a grandmother with severe Alzheimers and everything else.

Hi, Jess.....welcome. you sound like a very nice person to me. is there someone at school, a counselor, that you could talk to about your pain? SI needs attention and if your mother isn't willing to help you find help, surely someone else will.

it's hard to have so much stress in highschool. being a teen is hard enough, without added pressures. please keep me updated on how yuo are doing. xoxoxo pat

((((((((((((Jess)))))))))))
I'm sorry you have been feeling like this for quite some time now. I completely understand what you're saying about going from loving life for one day to hating it the next, and also about the SI'ing .... good for you to tell your mother, even if she wasn't that responsive, that took alot of courage. ALOT.
Do you have a counsellor at school that you could talk to? Or if you're not really into that, do you have any good friends or other relatives that you could confide in?
Welcome to PC though, you've come to a good place IMO.
Feel free to PM me anytime.
Jacq

They both gave really good advice.

School is hard, and I know it's really hard preparing for post-secondary education when you're struggling with where you are at currently. Sucks even more if your parents don't realize how hard things are for you.

Take care of yourself and PM me anytime.