[Danny777]

Well, that didn't work out very well. I weaned off Effexor in early 2012, since it didn't seem to be working any more, and I blamed it for apathy that might have been responsible for some unfortunate things that happened just prior to that time.

Going off Effexor was a nightmare, even with weaning and being prescribed Wellbutrin for four months afterwards, the Wellbutrin made me vomit a lot. Since then I have refused to take any more meds for my depression. And it seems that my depression, now dealt up with a healthy dose of anxiety, has slowly worsened. Now it has become intolerable and crippling. My doctor has been trying to get me back on some kind of medication but I have resisted. Reading all the negative things out there on SSRI's, SNRI's, etc. hasn't helped.

So tomorrow I have an appt with my doc and am going to ask to go on citalopram, which seems to me to be one of the least side-effect ridden of the lot. I have never tried an SSRI (Effexor is an SNRI, Wellbutrin is neither), so maybe it will help. It better because I can't go on like this, I don't think my heart and physical health can take it for much longer, my stomach is constantly in knots. But I am still VERY apprehensive about it, in spite of citalopram seeming to be fairly light, I still see a lot of bad press about it, but I have to do something. I did try a Mindfulness course, and that seemed to help a little, but not that much and not for very long. I will continue with the meditations though.

I guess I'm not really asking for advice since I don't really see any alternative at this point, to me going back on meds is now a necessity in my mind, but I would still like to hear your opinions. I hope I'm doing the right thing, if not I suppose I can go off them (slowly, of course) after giving it a chance.

Well, here's hoping for the best!

[chromegirl]

I think that you are at least willing to consider meds is a very, very good thing.

Keep in mind that there is an inherent bias in what you read about meds on the internet -- the people most likely to write about them have had a negative experience. People who respond well? You don't hear from them as much because they are too busy living their lives again.

I have been helped by SSRI in the past, enormously in fact. I am just now getting out of my 4th lifetime episode, with the help of Effexor XR (this is my second time on it...I happened to wean from it the first time, over 10 years ago, without any problems) and Seroquel. I'm not quite where I want to be, but I am doing a lot better.

So...all that to say, try to keep an open mind. Also, who is prescribing your meds? Personally I think that anyone who has had multiple bouts of depression/anxiety is best served by a psychiatrist as opposed to a family dr/gp. And don't forget, it is very, very normal to have to tweak med dosages and do switches along the way. A psychiatrist is the best person to do this.

[Danny777]

Thanks Chromegirl! Yes, it makes sense that those with bad experiences would post the most, can't blame them for that. I do take it all with a grain of salt, in a way I suppose it's a good thing that I have no real choice now, I am hopeful that with the meds I will end up better off than the existence that I would have had just surviving without them. I count myself lucky that through all of this, and with all that one loses with this type of illness, I still manage to retain my hope for a better future.

I have seen a Psychiatrist in the past, but I got the distinct impression that she thought I was just trying to get off work with all of this and she didn't really want to see me again. Well, now I'm retired and the problems are still there, and are worse. Guess it was real after all. I saw a therapist as well for a while but that wasn't working well either and it got too expensive, so...

I might try a psychiatrist again, though, I'll bring it up tomorrow with my GP. I've had my GP for a long time and she knows where I've been over the years and really wants to help me.

Anyhow, thanks, I do think I'm on the right track now. I keep thinking of Dr. Phil (who I can't stand but my ex used to watch all the time) saying, "So how's THAT working for you?". ;-)

btw, I read your wordpress stuff, very interesting and touching. I've had a run of bad news over the past few years so I can really relate. I know you'll get there, but I do hope sooner rather than later! Good luck!

I think it's time to stop reading all the anti-anti-depressant stuff, as I often say, sometimes you just have to close your eyes tight and put the pedal to the metal! Although I am usually referring to traffic jams. ;-)

[mgb46]

Hi Danny777,

Good luck with your appt. I actually take Pristiq which is in a class of SNRI's. I've tried many different types of SSRI's in the past with no effectiveness, so I've stayed away. Hopefully you will do well on citalophram. I've heard good things about it. Best of Luck!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Altered Moment]

There is such a wide variety of experience with side effects and effectiveness because the way we metabolize these drugs is very different. Why some have withdrawal and others don't I don't think is known.

The only way to know is to try it and give it a fair shot. 4 to 6 weeks.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Fuzzybear]

[Danny777]

Thanks! It's weird how there is no consistency as to how one person reacts to a given AD compared to another, I guess that would just be too simple. On the other hand, it implies that there is always a chance that another type will work.

Thankfully.

[Altered Moment]

My experience after trying just about all of them with limited success is that I recently found one that is working very well so far. Fetzima, an SSNRI. As you have said you did not have a good experience on an SSNRI so an SSRI may be the better choice.

Unfortunately many of us try different ones and combinations and tweeking to find what works. It is not a fun process as you know.

[Pierro]

Even tapering down on the effexor is absolutely cruel. I am so sorry that your depression and anxiety is at a point where you have to back on meds. Is there anyone out there that has sucessfully lived without psych meds. I know that no one wants to be on them

[Danny777]

Zinco, I sure hope I don't go through them all only to end up trying SNRI's again, but I suppose it could happen.

Pierro, yes, that Effexor tapering was no fun at all. At the time I was amazed at how little the Doctors knew about that, not something Big Pharma said much about in their sales visits I suppose. I would like to know as well if anyone has made it through without meds, and how they did it. I gave it a long try but can't go on like this.

Thanks for your replies!

[Altered Moment]

I think it depends on how biologically and genetically the causes are. I think in my case it is very biologically genetically ingrained. That doesn't mean non med techniques don't help.

This is just my speculation but it seems if someone who does not have a biological disposition to depression and it was caused by trauma in child hood or whatever, all environmental, would stand a better chance with therapy alone if they chose not to use meds.

I did all kinds of therapy and AA for many years and my depression has gotten worse as I have gotten older. I like to think I resolved all my past situational issues through that yet the depression persists. It is frustrating.

Unfortunately the meds are just not that effective many times. I think big pharma made some steps in the right direction but there is a lot more to it.

[Danny777]

It definitely runs in my family, then again, most of us cousins had alcoholic parents so none of us got an easy ride growing up. A lot of stress, uncertainty and lack of sleep pretty much the whole time. So it could be either in my case. Oddly enough, I myself don't drink much, I seem to have an intolerance for alcohol, a few beers can put me down for days. I'm no saint though!

It seems to have gotten worse as I have aged as well, although I do remember being very depressed even from an early age, around ten years old is the earliest I can remember being that way.

[Danny777]

Well, my doc prescribed Escitalopram rather than Citalopram, she said it will be better for the anxiety side of things. 10mg to 20mg in a week, then 40mg later on. I thought 40mg was above recommended (it is), but after reading up on it, it's not uncommon for that dosage to be prescribed these days, mostly to prevent regression it seems. I may offer some resistance to that dosage though, not sure I buy that argument.

Oddly, I felt better almost right away, must have been the placebo effect or just anticipation. I feel a little spaced out, stomach gurgling, a little trouble sleeping last night, and woke up with a headache, nothing severe enough to make me consider stopping though.

I'll try to keep posting "start-up" updates for those who might be interested.

[Danny777]

So yesterday my dose hit me pretty hard spacey wise, I was asleep within the hour. But the effect went away more quickly than the day before. I had a great sleep last night (I love the vivid dreams!), no headache, and an hour and a half after my dose today (lunchtime) I don't really feel any effects at all. Good news for me after reading how hard some people have had it!

I also tentatively and purposely thought of some of the more stressful/trigger things that always put my stomach in knots and I reacted quite well. Of course, I will be doubling my 10mg to 20mg next Monday so we'll see how that goes, but I'm very optimistic right now and feeling that I did the right thing going back on meds. I just spent an hour cleaning and actually cooked last night!

[Belmore]

Im on cilift and have no side affects off it. I have been on it for 7 years. Its not addictive because sometimes I don't drink it i forget about it and have no physical side effects although I do get moor moodier if i do forget to take it

[Altered Moment]

Good luck Danny I hope and pray it works for you.

[Danny777]

Belmore, thanks for that, it's good to hear from someone who hasn't had a tough time on AD's once in a while! And thanks Zinco, so far so good!

Today is going pretty good as well, a little stomach tension but not like it was before I started. The only thing I've noticed is some minor hand trembling in the mornings before my dose (I always have had rock steady hands) but that is minor. Strange though, I can sense the depression and anxiety lurking in the background like an unwelcome guest waiting at the door. I will try not to answer!!!

The dreams are fun, last night I was in back in boarding school, someone tried to extort my pocket money, ha ha. No, they didn't get it! ;-)

[Forever hopeful]

Hi Danny know it's been about a good week since you wrote just curious how your doing I was Celexa for almost 10 yrs I think can't quite remember just weaned of it about 2 mths ago now cause I thought it was no longer working that great anymore. Anyway I. Med free for now trying to ride it our like this see if I can manage but looks like I will be going on bupropion if I don't start moving forward I am giving myself approx 4 more mths to see..

Anyways I my point of writing is to cheer you on and hopes that it works for you like it did for me.

[Danny777]

Hi forever hopeful, thanks for asking! After the first few days I did start to feel a lot of side effects, and I haven't felt much like writing since then. Most of the classic ones like sweats, stomach upset, loss of appetite, drowsiness, the runs. But the worst was some really bad anxiety for a few days in the first week. It was pretty bad and I was very worried about the whole thing but I had read a lot of similar things with others so I knew these should pass.

When I started my 20mg last Monday it really knocked me out, I take it in the mornings but was usually passed out within an hour or so. Then I'd feel better in the late afternoons and evenings although still a little spaced out. Thankfully I haven't had much nausea and vomiting a lot as some do, I'm happy about that!

Reading threads about all this, it seems that things do get a little worse before they get better for some people, but over the week I feel like things are improving. It seems to take many around three to four weeks to get over the symptoms and start to feel better, even then, it can take a few months to really feel like one's old self again, so I'm just holding on and waiting it out.

The worst was the anxiety and that seems to be falling off constantly since the first week, that is a big relief for me. I haven't felt so depressed which I'm happy about, but more apprehensive over the outcome since in many ways I do feel worse than before I started, more on the anxiety side, don't want to go out anywhere or do anything but it will be worth it if I can get back to some kind of reasonable life in the end.

I should stress that not everyone gets these side effects, many don't but you don't see many posts from them. I found a great thread on a British site, it's for Celexa but that is very close and it's good to see people who have struggled slowly get better over the weeks and move on. I'll post the link separately in case it causes my reply to get messed up!

Thanks for the nudge to get me to update, and I definitely am doing better than in previous days!

[Danny777]

Here's the link for that thread I mentioned, it is for citalopram rather than escitalopram but I think they are very close, the symptoms are definitely similar:

Anyone NOT had any side effects on Citalopram? Patient Discussion Forum

[Danny777]

btw, forever, I have a relative with the same issues as me, she has been through a lot over the years with different meds, etc. She is now feeling better than ever, I didn't know when I started but she is now on the same thing as me! The only difference is that she is also taking bupropion, that's why I mention it. It was a long road for her and I'm happy to see her doing well now, that helped me as well, just knowing that.

[Forever hopeful]

Thank always like a good read. Happy to hear your hanging in I had starting celexa Atari really low dose by splitting worked my way to 40 mg I came off the pretty much the same way. I started so low because at the time I was not only suffering MDD but major panic disorder, GAD agoraphobia those issues are all very well managed very rarely do they ever stop me from anything but on the catch the depression now has me laid out pretty much.. I am trying to do little manageable things when I can.. Looking forward to hearing your journey.